💾 Archived View for alioop.flounder.online › motherhood › 04months.gmi captured on 2024-06-16 at 12:13:06. Gemini links have been rewritten to link to archived content
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her smile
my god
has there ever been anything that has made me so happy?
warm honey and infinite love…
she lifts her legs and twiddles her feet and throws them back down.
she kicks and breathes quickly, eyes wide, excited on the changing table.
and her voice—
oh my heart, her voice—
when she wakes up for the day
she almost sings to herself
her voice lilting up and down
experimenting, exploring, expressing.
the best part of the day is the beginning,
when i hear her talking to herself in the dark
and i switch on the light
and peak over the side of the bassinet
and sing, “good morning!”
and she lights up in a gummy smile
her eyes crinkling
so happy to see me
her hands brought together in her mouth
her legs kicking in excitement within her sleep sack
and i lift her up and set her in between us in bed
and together we sing to her “good morning!”
and she smiles at her father
and me her mother
and we kiss her cheeks
and we are so happy
a family in bed
for morning snuggles
before the sun is even up
she likes so many things now
now that she has more control of her hands
she can reach for it all
grab and turn and bring to mouth
she holds her teething rings with a tight grasp
she likes her crinkly toys and taggie toys
she has discovered the strength in her legs too
we pull her little hands up to sit
and pull again until she stands
and she stays standing
her full weight on her soft rolled thighs
with light-handed support
and she’ll bounce her knees
her face smiling or curious or concerned
by our silly faces and sounds
that we make to try to inspire her first laugh
that we can’t wait to hear
she talks to us the most when she’s standing
she sneezes
and when we aren’t looking at her enough
she fake coughs for our attention.
when she naps it seems like she will be asleep forever
but then suddenly you look back at her
and her eyes are wide
and looking everywhere,
and she’s talking to herself,
perhaps recounting a dream.
at bedtime we have found our routine:
changing table
then laying on the fuzzy rug in the nursery
for vitamin d drops
a warm washcloth for her face and hands
a full body massage, moving my hands away from her heart to calm her down
(she always talks during this part)
and then her onesie and her sleep sack
(she always fusses during this part)
and then we take her into our room
with the box fan and salt lamp
and i feed her
and the milk drips down my breast as she drifts away
and i place her in the bassinet
and she cuddles up to the side of it
and falls more deeply asleep while holding my fingers with both of her hands
and at night
she sleeps
and i only see her once or twice
until she wakes in the morning
smiling at me all over again.