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'Children should be seen and not heard' - my mother
Well, recent events have really brought to my consciousness just how alone I really am... without my ladies! My mother, in a (temporarily, if social services can be believed) care home, with all the consequences this brings, is in no way modern, and I am as I write this, about to celebrate my 50th birthday. And this in itself is then followed three days later by the tenth anniversary of the loss of my father.
Now I myself, for several reasons, am lucky to be alive, through a combination of luck and determination. But let us not dwell on this.
I am, by consensus of opinion, far different to a typical man of my age. And my history would explain my reasons. One former work colleague remarked, ten years ago (and who organised a 40th birthday party for me also - my former wife would never have bothered) - remarked that 'I had never really lived. Well, having survived much, there is still time to rebuild my life and career. And if my remaining elders do not understand me, it is no accident. It is no use in today's world trying to be rooted in the past. Or re-running the old family script. To me, the old ways of the family are now about as relevant to my life as a 1970's Brezhnev speech about tractor production in the Soviet Union. In fact, I might be, in many ways likened more to Mikhail Gorbachev in many respects, not least in the manner that I want to do away with the geriatric ways of my ancestors.
My mother recently complained about me dying my hair. "I prefer your natural colour!" It tells a tale; as my natural colour is mainly grey now, I do it out of strategy. To do all I can to evade age discrimination, and to better relate to those I am most likely to teach. My mother is not a strategist as you can probably guess...
"Your biological age (the age of your cells) may be older than mine, but I can swear on anything that you are way, way, younger than most people as old as you, extremely younger. age of mind matters the most of course, other people can say otherwise, I don't care" - to quote one of my students....
You will never hear me using the phrase 'children should be seen and not heard' which my mother used to use. To hell with that! Likewise, as head of the family, I will say this: no child of mine will go to boarding school, nor be accused of 'telling tales' when they report being bullied at school; and I will not beat my children either; to hell with that! The practice is illegal in a growing number of countries in any case. Oh, and by the way I do not beat women either. If any of my children reports being bullied, I will make my feelings known in no uncertain terms - I am a former security officer; that's all you need to know.
And now I am reinventing myself as an academic - the academic I should have been, had it not been for my former abusive marriage. Given my educational background, with a first degree (BSc Electronics) and a masters' degree, (MSc computer science); it should not come as any surprise that I plan to launch my own business in this field too. This lies in the future.
It will not be in the UK for various reasons; I am not happy with the way the UK is going, but I will not document this here; it is already covered in other articles. Would you be right in thinking that is should be where business (and living) costs are considerably lower? You bet! And my other articles should give some insight into what kind of business ethics I have too.
So, the business will be modern and in large part based on the microcontroller; the family will be an international one and, hey, let's not dredge up the old ways of the family; it is about time they went into the dustbin of history where they belong. In today's world, it is very much a case of adept or die. I will not raise a family in a country which cannot even house people; and where so many costs are so high that the children will be growing up in poverty regardless of how hard their parents work, or where the parents are so busy, stressed and exhausted that they will have no energy nor time for the children. That is modern family life in the UK (don't believe me? -See housing and childcare costs as a start(!) and try a Google search for 'food banks'). I believe that 'latchkey children' who come home to empty houses as the parents are always thrashing around trying to stay afloat financially never do well in education and are susceptible to the wrong kind of company (gangs and the suchlike).
And to those who say I am brave to start a new family say so chiefly because they expect me to conform to the stereotypes. Not my style, as you should gather by now. And, a woman my age cannot have children of course - that is already covered too!
And it will be in another country, indeed another continent. Enough said.
"You already succeeded multiple times in moving temporary out of the UK, and you will succeed in moving permanently!!! Because your will is power!!!" - a current student.
I guess it sums it up nicely. Unlike my parents, I will not go quietly into the night, nor meekly accept their fate.
David
