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Abandon My True Eidolon in Yonder Convenient Abyss

Topics: relationships, pretense

2019-07-21

Whilst chatting with Herr Neumann earlier today, I was reminded of something I used to think about often: Relationships fail when they begin with the partners pretending to be something other than they will be in every day life later on.

Christián's current obsession with Isa reminds me of this truth - a truth that is evident when one steps outside of the circumstance. Many people go into the dating game, which is just a shortcut to saying *an entraceway into a romantic relationship* acting utterly unlike they are in every day life. They try to impress. They take pains to cater to every need of the potential mate.

When such a situation does develop into a routine, and then it escalates into living together, and then proceeds to other morbid rituals, the flashy sheen that was so apparent at the beginning of the *dating process* fades - sometimes quickly. They are left with another human different from the eidolon they first encountered. Dissolution ensues.

The most successuful relatioships I've seen began with the pair in situations mirroring their normal habits. They were part of the same group of friends, all knowing intimate details about each other, before romantic notions developed. Or, they worked together and saw many sides of one another before feelings escalated. Later in life, there are fewer surprises. Isa doesn't disembowel Christián with a kitchen utensil when he begins spouting rubbish about how granting women equal rights was the beginning of the downfall of mankind, for example.

tzifur (Martenblog home)

jenju (Thurk.Org home)

@flavigula@sonomu.club

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