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In reply to:

Re: I am a language model

I've become my own text generator. I've lost my soul and replaced it with a language model.

I've been thinking about a feeling like this from a different angle lately. As we grow up, at some point, we'll be excited about walking, then it becomes boring; we'll be thrilled by our ability to label objects, then it becomes boring; we'll be amazed by the signs in the streets once we learned to read, then they become boring.

As children, we're fortunate to be presented with obviously useful goals. Whenever we've completed learning something, the next big challenge is already awaiting us. It's also easy to make friends, as our goals are universal and everyone around us seems to be interested in the same things.

I don't think this pattern ever stops as we age. We will continue to master skills until our brains can basically do them on their own and we get bored. The trouble starts, when we run out of new goals. For some, this starts in puberty, when they start questioning the value of the goals their parents present to them. For some it may just start to really impact their lives after they have reached their PhD or worked a job for many years, that they once found interesting.

When we hit these points in life, I think it's natural to look back and yearn for the days where we enjoyed something that now bores us. It might feel like we've become a joyless robot, going through predefined motions. However, I believe we must accept that we have to go on, add the learned skill to our mental toolbox and find something new to pursue.

Finding something new to do will probably become more difficult over time, as more and more of our basic needs can be satisfied by the skills we've already learned. This is something I'm struggling with myself, but I think we will rarely find a new interest and start growing again, when we pressure ourselves. I think it's a process, that cannot be forced.

This doesn't mean, that we can't do anything but wait. I believe we can create habits and foster environments which help us find new impulses. If we continue interacting with the world instead of retreating in despair, we will eventually come across something that piques our interest, be it in a blog post, a conversation with a friend, a movie, a news article, a YouTube video or a book.

I think this might be why people seem to value routines as they age: They prevent them from falling into motionlessness, when encountering tough times, because they know that only in motion they will travel somewhere nicer. It's OK, if we're not sprinting forwards in these times, but we'll just grow frustrated if we halt and try to figure it all out before going on.