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⬅️ Previous capture (2023-03-20)

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So far so good. I'm in that insomnia/jittery/noisy brain phase, where I have bad sleep and my brain feels manic. But it's not so intense this time - my head feels lighter and my neck muscles aren't tensing up. I read a tip somewhere that a little sodium bicarbonate (baking soda) in water can help with an active histamine overload. I tried it after lunch yesterday and it chilled me right the fuck out. Maybe it was a fluke, but I am hopeful. I'm going to be extra super good with my diet and keep up my electrolytes.

I'm probably going to have to go see a real doctor, especially if this histamine diet thing doesn't pan out. When we went to urgent care for that sore throat bug, my blood pressure was kinda scary high and I know I have had high readings in the past that I blamed on sickness/headache or the stress of seeking medical care. I know my blood pressure spikes when I have a headache. Few years back I did buy a blood pressure device to take readings at home, but it broke after a short time (shit quality) and I never replaced it. So my plan is to get a replacement, and then do some detailed charting of my blood pressure and food habits and headache symptoms so I can take a whole 4 week cycle of data to the doc and be like, listen, you white coat wearing healthcare stooge. I've given up caffeine and soda. I've cut down on dairy and sugar of all forms. I've jumped through all these goddamn diet hoops. I'm drinking water and taking all the fucking electrolytes. If you boot me out the door with nothing but "lose weight and see a therapist for stress, come back in 6 months" I will crucify you on google with a one star review so brutal that it will get screenshot and shared for lols. You are the obstacle standing between me and my headache free life, so cough it up. Give me some of that amazing modern medicine I hear so much about or you are a shame to your profession and I will use your name as a curse word for the rest of my life.

I will, too. I'm as good at grudges as my blood pressure is elevated. Very.

We have a good friend finishing medical school - she wants to go into pediatrics. Super smart, kind, quality human being. I don't hate doctors. I just think the american healthcare machine they are enslaved by is cruel, inhuman and insanely counterproductive to the basic function it is supposed to fulfill, and I hate giving money to it. If I go in there complaining of headaches, they're going to pick the most generic, efficient way to get rid of me and get their max profits because that's what their machine wants. So I better be ready to nuke their standard responses. I gave up cheese and coffee, you assholes.

Yesterday I was trying to straighten up some stuff in the project area/dining room. I wanted to find a place for the box of christmas decorations we pulled out of the shed and then got stuffed in the corner and forgot. Which got me cleaning some stuff in the guest bedroom to make room. Pretty soon I've got all this shit spread out in the other bedroom and office and I've started a handful of new tasks, none of which are on my lists (sometimes I put things on my list retroactively and cross them out just so I feel productive). It took half the day to get that one christmas box put away, so I didn't do the things I meant to do yesterday. The project area is still cluttered up. Classic. But on the upside I feel like it broke up some of the stagnation in the house. I really want a proper guest room and not a filthy hoard room. I've sorted stuff into the new plastic bins we bought and that is helping a great deal in the kitchen and bathroom. Spouse trolled me with, "What do you have against chaos?" But I know he is pleased when things are tidy. He just suffers from the same decision making atrophy I've got, possibly worse. Making decisions about where to put the things is the hard part. If we had a huge house this would be easier. A small house must be an organized house.

I found a used book on chip carving at Title Wave, and I ordered a beginner's knife set. I have vague ideas of carving some of the shelves I've put up. Chip carving has the beautiful geometric elements I really like, and I'm interested in adding carved accents like that to art pieces (like paintings on a wood panel), so I think I'll get my money's worth out of it one way or another. I got a lot of projects to do before I faff about adding carving to shelves, ha ha. It's gorgeous stuff, though. Imagine a shelf mounted at above head height, with geometric floral starlike patterns carved on the underside, illuminated by the LED underlighting. Aw yeah. Would be sweet. One step closer to snow white dwarf house.