💾 Archived View for midnight.pub › posts › 1824 captured on 2024-05-26 at 14:43:26. Gemini links have been rewritten to link to archived content
⬅️ Previous capture (2024-05-10)
-=-=-=-=-=-=-
The mid drunk clarity of an indulgent binge brought a harsh light to what is coming.
I don't want the tug of war in the morning, I don't need the burden of duty fighting my broken brain over getting out of bed, but it is back - the awfully, completely terrifying mouth full of teeth is back.
I totally get it. Honestly, I've found just being by myself and taking a "break" away from people and whatever is making you stressed or depressed can be helpful if you have the means to. Even just decompressing for an extra hour in bed or in the bath can help you process things better. I found it super useful after I attempted suicide years ago---being meaningful (i.e. doing it deliberately) with our alone time (vs. being lonely or feeling inadequate) is way more valuable than people give it credit for.
Nonetheless, I hope you work out whatever is happening. Life is difficult, but it doesn't mean there aren't good days to look forward to. I believe in you! :)
Good luck with the tug of war, I hope it doesn't get a hold of you like you fear it will.
I don't know your personal struggle, but if you tend to stay up later than you should, like I do, then getting extra sleep may help with those sorts of battles. It doesn't always work, or do away with them completely, but maybe that is a helpful perspective.