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Empty 2022-11-18

Song for this text:

It's 6 AM rn.

I couldn't sleep.

I'm doing some reading on gemini, some thinking with some music.

This makes me realise how different nights alone are.

Night-time alone makes one merciless, ruthless, and blunt.

Cheesy but it's as if one turns into Mr. Hyde, but for hatred instead of desire.

And my god how much do I hate everything.

I hate everything and not in a burning passion way.

In a disappointment way.

Everything is disappointing.

Everything requires effort and provides no feedback.

Everything sucks. Nothing is fulfilling and meaningful.

21st century has made everything void of meaning and intentionally unfulfilling so you return for more.

I would lay in bed all day if not for boredom.

People always act like they always do the right thing.

And the worst thing? They believe it.

Everyone thinks they are better than average, they act better than average.

They aren't!!! My brother you suck!!!! You are fake!!!!!

You just act cool to cope with the fact that you think your life is meaningless!

MAybe it really is! I hate you!

You f**n bore me out of my mind.

I miss my old friends. And by old friends I mean not having any.

Human interaction takes effort and is draining.

These thoughts lead to a certain unique feeling.

Like there is a little hole where my heart should be.

And that hole is full of barf.

It feels like I could somehow get it out of my system, if there was a way to reach it.

My god people suck.

Sometimes I loathe realizing my whole life will be full of these fake, empty, shells of people.

Then I see myself being one too.

Life really sucks man.

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