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Joint Internal Memo: SCP-6987
To the O5 Council,
You know the drill. By the time someone reaches this clearance level, they don’t need fancy colors anymore.
The policies provided will be tailored for the new promotee. We chose a demonstrative sample.
Ezekiel Yang, PhD.
Department of Financial Esoterica
Sheldon Katz, Esq.
Legal Department.
Secure. Contain. Protect.
By accepting your promotion to a position with Level 3 clearance, you are acknowledging that you have read and are aware of the following information in its entirety and the responsibilities they entail.
Item #: SCP-6987
Containment Class: Euclid
Secondary Class: Radix
Disruption Class: Dark
Risk Class: Notice
Level 3 researchers investigate anomalous phenomena that may be without precedent. If you believe that your work exposes you or your team to risks not adequately covered by a contract within SCP-6987, contact the Legal Department to determine whether coverage may be extended.
Report all possible or suspected violations of SCP-6987-0 on the part of Goldbaker-Reinz to the Goldbaker-Reinz Foundation Audit Task Force.
First, a whole-hearted congratulations on your promotion or assignment to Level 3.
You now bear a greater range of responsibilities. You may be responsible for humanoid SCP objects. You may have your own lab. Whatever the reason, you now must understand the nature of the Foundation’s relationship with Goldbaker-Reinz in greater detail.
Goldbaker-Reinz is the best insurer with an unreasonably accurate forecasting model for natural disasters, terrorist attacks, and other traditionally unpredictable events. It is the only insurer that charges fair rates for these events with the liquidity to pay out. Marshall, Carter, & Dark have proven in the past that they prefer to line their own pockets, and our in-house solutions are significantly limited in scope.
Our audits of their operations only cover matters pertaining to our policies, and even then we don’t get to look at the guts of their mathematical models. So:
You see the problem.
You may think you can make a name for yourself by getting Goldbaker-Reinz formally classified with an SCP designation of its own, instead of merely classifying our contracts with them as SCP-6987.
Don’t. People have tried. They no longer work here.
Our relationship with Goldbaker-Reinz is more valuable than your continued employment. Keeping track of every contract we have with them is a full-time job for thousands of people, but they have always paid.
Ezekiel Yang, PhD.
Department of Financial Esoterica
Sheldon Katz, Esq.
Legal Department.
Secure. Contain. Protect.
a.k.a.: the Neutrality Clause of 1946
As a voting member of the Council of 108, Goldbaker-Reinz bears a significant conflict of interest in Foundation-GOC clashes.
In the event that a clash between two parties serviced by Goldbaker-Reinz causes significant material damages to both parties, Clause 108 dictates that Goldbaker-Reinz reserves the right to withhold recompense until such a time that a neutral third party can be found to determine the appropriate damages.
A neutral third party when speaking of the SCP Foundation and Goldbaker-Reinz must not have any undisclosed associations with any SCP front corporations or contained corporate anomalies, members of the Council of 108, the United Nations, or Asgard.
In this manner, Goldbaker-Reinz seeks to minimize conflicts between its clients.
Illustrative penalties for breaching SCP-6987 are outlined in the non-exhaustive list below. These penalties increase in severity with the magnitude of the breach.
Penalties for contractual violation by Goldbaker-Reinz:
Penalties for contractual violation by the Foundation:
It is currently not diplomatically viable to classify any members of the Council of 108 as SCPs.
All payments are made monetarily and charged monthly, unless otherwise stated.
SCP-6987-E1-E3 cover routine medical procedures for humanoid anomalies.
All medical procedures upon humanoid SCP objects, including for health, experimentation, or containment, will be covered.
Goldbaker-Reinz does not cover life insurance for contained humanoid SCP objects unless said objects are classified as full employees of the Foundation.
In the case of loss of specialized or otherwise valuable personnel, the Foundation will be compensated for the loss of expertise.
The Foundation has received payouts under this policy associated with persons believed to have never existed. Goldbaker-Reinz has stated that their records show that these policies must be honored, but due to the lack of existence of persons covered by these policies they can provide no further information.
For the following contracts, representatives of Goldbaker-Reinz and the Foundation will meet on a date determined by Clause 109 of SCP-6987-0 to negotiate fair prices for full coverage.
Both parties possess capabilities for forecasting future events. A multidisciplinary team of Foundation negotiators will attempt to buy the most coverage for the lowest price.
If Goldbaker-Reinz quotes a figure that is greater than the Foundation’s estimated final price by over 100% or less than the Foundation’s estimates by over 50%, their figure is to be accepted without negotiation.
These policies cover damages from natural disasters, both anomalous or non-anomalous.
Foundation sites are covered by relevant policies for their geographical location.
The Foundation is covered by specific policies for antagonistic actions by specific GoIs. Coverage status for all GoIs is available from SCiPNet’s GoI Status Tracker.
An illustrated list of covered damages is given below:
A notable exception to this coverage is Marshall, Carter, & Dark Ltd. **No losses incurred in interactions with MC&D are covered.**
Payment: X bushels of wheat per month (Value of X negotiated yearly).
Should agricultural yields for a given year be low enough such that buying necessary raw crop or processed food goods necessary to maintain containment procedures will exceed the Foundation’s annual food budget, Goldbaker-Reinz will pay the Foundation the difference.
The full text of this paper can be found through SCiPNet’s Archive of Foundation White Papers.
FOR INTERNAL DISTRIBUTION ONLY
FOUNDATION WHITE PAPER SERIES Jan-Feb 2009
Department of Financial Esoterica
How do they do it? A Hypothesis for the Continued Survival of Goldbaker-Reinz
Ezekiel Yang[a], Xueping Zheng[b], David Carr[c], and Erica Lopez[d]
[a] Department of Financial Esoterica
[b] Department of Economics
[c] Department of Applied Mathemagick
[d] Department of Forensic Accounting, G.R. Audit Team
ABSTRACT: Goldbaker-Reinz Insurance Group Ltd. is one of the only modern providers of anomalous insurance. Typical insurers have cash inflows of consistent low-value payments and cash outflows of unpredictable infrequent high-value payments. However, payments exchanged between the Foundation and Goldbaker-Reinz under SCP-6987 suggest that Goldbaker-Reinz must have net negative cashflows, suggesting that Goldbaker-Reinz should have gone bankrupt in the 1900s given historical payouts to the Foundation.
In this paper, we provide our best estimates for Goldbaker-Reinz’s cashflows given historical premium payments and policy payouts, extrapolated across all clients. We find that Goldbaker-Reinz’s net worth is unlikely to be explained by fraud but can be explained by the non-monetary value of exotic premium payments such as holy relics or rare biomass. We posit both a mechanism by which Goldbaker-Reinz converts esoteric value into monetary value and the necessary specifications of any predictive model employed by Goldbaker-Reinz to schedule stochastic future cash inflows to avoid financial default.