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Why I grant my ladies personal autonomy, and give them equal treatment and equal rights
Unity through autonomy is our strength
PERSONAL AUTONOMY
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Personal autonomy refers to a person's sense of self-determination, of being able to make choices regarding the direction of her or his own actions, including the freedom to pursue those choices. With personal autonomy, an individual is able to engage in effective self-regulation—successfully monitoring needs and values; responding adaptively to the environment, and initiating, organizing, and directing actions toward the achievement of needs. For some theorists, the psychological experience of autonomy has its origin in the organism's natural tendency to organize both itself and its environment in the pursuit of goals. In this view, a sense of autonomy requires the absence of restraining forces that can limit this natural tendency. Importantly, feelings of autonomy are not only crucial for adequate intrapersonal functioning—competent action and adequate psychological health—but are also essential for the adequate functioning of a healthy society.
Although ultimately I am head of our group, I do not rule with an iron fist. In fact my ladies get equal rights, equal treatment and equal priority. They get equal say in matters affecting their future (and why not?), and although I can intervene to prevent something which is not in the interests of the group (for example, unwise decisions on how resources are allocated) in practice it rarely is necessary in practice.
Of course, issues such as childcare will not be a problem as it would be in a conventional family (And I am glad I will NOT be in the UK, which has the most expensive childcare in the world!). And we can, and will, pool our resources as this is the most economical way to do things. And I work on the principle that priority comes before preference.
My plan is for my ladies to have a role in the business I plan to establish.
My contingency plan: how to provide training in a non-English speaking country
I accept them as who and what they are; I do not try change them (firstly, it is discredited, and secondly trying to 'change' your partner(s) is am abusive personality trait - and how do you think I know that? Just love them for who and what they are - their traits are very often what (whether consciously or unconsciously) attracted you to them in the first place! The very same traits which lead to development of strong and permanent bonds which will last for life.
And I do not have favourites as I explained above. It will lead to jealousy and, of course conflict. The key to making the relationship work is to build and maintain strong bonds. These do not need to be 'enforced' in any way for one very simple reason. The very key to maintaining strong bonds and preventing conflict is to ensure there is no 'favouritism' - and nothing to get into conflict about!
Such is the key to making a polyamorous relationship work. Need I explain further?
