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10 [1] According to Rabbinic law, a woman who has been consecrated (i.e., an *arusah*) is forbidden to engage in sexual relations with her husband as long as she is living in her father's home. A man who has relations with his *arusah* in his father-in-law's home is punished with "stripes for rebelliousness."
Even when [the husband] consecrated [his *arusah*] by having sexual relations with her, he is forbidden to engage in sexual relations with her again until he brings her to his home, enters into privacy with her, and thus singles her out as his [wife].
[Their entry into] privacy is referred to as entry into the *chuppah*, and it is universally referred to as *nisu'in*.
When a man has relations with his *arusah* for the sake of [establishing] *nisu'in* after he has consecrated her, the relationship is established at the beginning of sexual relations. This causes her to be considered his wife with regard to all matters. [2] Once an *arusah* has entered the *chuppah*, her husband is allowed to have relations with her at any time he desires, and she is considered to be his wife with regard to all matters. Once she enters the *chuppah*, she is called a *nesu'ah*, although [the couple] has not engaged in sexual relations.
[The above applies when] it is fitting to engage in relations with the woman. If, however, the woman is in the *niddah* state [when relations are forbidden], the marriage bond is not completed and she is still considered to be an *arusah* although she entered the *chuppah* and remained in privacy [with her husband]. [3] The marriage blessings must be recited in the groom's home before the marriage takes place. There are six blessings; they are:
Blessed are You, God, our Lord, King of the universe, who has created all things for His glory.
Blessed are You, God, our Lord, King of the universe, Creator of man.
Blessed are You, God, our Lord, King of the universe, who created man in His image, in an image reflecting His likeness; [He brought forth] his form and prepared for him from His own Self a structure that will last for all time. Blessed are You, God, Creator of man.
May the barren one rejoice and exult as her children are gathered to her with joy. Blessed are You, God, who makes Zion rejoice in her children.
Grant joy to these loving companions, as You granted joy to Your creation in the Garden of Eden long ago. Blessed are You, God, who grants joy to the groom and the bride.
Blessed are You, God, our Lord, King of the universe, who created joy and happiness, bride and groom, gladness, song, cheer and delight, love and harmony, peace and friendship. Soon, God, our Lord, may there be heard in the cities of Judah and the outskirts of Jerusalem, a voice of joy and a voice of happiness, a voice of a groom and a voice of a bride, a voice of grooms rejoicing from their wedding canopies and youths from their songfests. Blessed are You, God, who grants joy to the groom together with the bride.
[4] If wine is available, a cup of wine should be brought, and the blessing over wine recited first. Afterwards, all the above blessings should be recited over the cup of wine; thus, one recites seven blessings.
In certain places, it is customary to bring a myrtle [branch] together with the wine. The blessing over the myrtle is recited after [the blessing over] the wine, and then the six blessings [mentioned above] are recited. [5] The wedding blessings are recited only in the presence of a quorum of ten adult free men. The groom is counted as part of the quorum. [6] When a man consecrates a woman, recites the wedding blessings, but does not enter into privacy with her in his home, she is still considered to be [merely] an *arusah*. For *nisu'in* are not established by the recitation of the wedding blessings, but rather by [the couple's] entry into the *chuppah*.
When [a man] consecrates [a woman] and [the two] enter a *chuppah*, but do not have the wedding blessings recited, the woman is considered to be married with regard to all matters. The wedding blessings may be recited even after several days have passed.
A woman in the *niddah* state should not marry until she is purified. The marriage blessings are not recited for her until she is purified. If a person transgresses, marries [a woman in this state] and has the blessings recited, they should not be recited again afterwards. [7] [A man] must write a marriage contract (a *ketubah*) [for his wife] before their entry into the *chuppah*; only afterwards is he permitted to live with his wife. The groom pays the scribe's fee.
How much does [the marriage contract require him to promise to have paid to her in the event of his death or his divorcing her]? If the bride is a virgin, no less than 200 *dinarim*. If she is not a virgin, no less than 100 *dinarim*. This amount is called the fundamental requirement of the *ketubah*.
If the groom desires to add to this amount he may, [promising any sum,] even a talent of gold. The laws pertaining to this addition and to the fundamental requirement of the *ketubah* are the same with regard to most matters. Therefore, every time the term *ketubah* is used without any additional explanation, it should be understood to include the fundamental requirement of the *ketubah* together with the additional amount [promised by the groom].
It was our Sages who ordained the requirement of [writing] a *ketubah* for a woman. [They instituted this obligation] so that it would not be a casual matter for [her husband] to divorce her. [8] [Our Sages] did not require that these *dinarim* be of pure silver. Instead, [their intent was] the coin [commonly used] in the [Talmudic] period, which was seven parts copper and one part silver. Thus, a *sela* (a coin worth four *dinarim*) contained half a *zuz* of [pure] silver. And the 200 *dinarim* to be paid a virgin were equivalent to 25 *zuz* of pure silver, while the 100 *zuz* to be paid to a woman who had previously engaged in sexual relations was 12 and a half *zuz* [of pure silver].
The weight of each *zuz* is 96 barley corns, as explained at the beginning of *[Hilchot] Eruvin*. A *dinar* is universally referred to as a *zuz*, regardless of whether it was of pure silver or of the coins used in the [Talmudic] period. [9] [A marriage contract] for a virgin may not be less than 200 [*zuz*], nor less than 100 [*zuz*] for a woman who is not a virgin. Whenever anyone [composes a marriage contract for] a lesser sum, the sexual relations [he conducts with his wife] are considered promiscuous.
[Marital relations] are permitted whether the husband composes a legal document [recording] the *ketubah*, or whether he has witnesses observe him making a commitment for either 100 or 200 *[zuz]* and [reaffirms that] commitment with a contractual act. Similarly, if [a man] gives his wife possessions equivalent to the value of her *ketubah* [as security], he is permitted to engage in relations with her until he has the opportunity to [have the document] composed. [10] When a man brings a woman [into a *chuppah*] without writing a *ketubah* for her, or he has written her a *ketubah* but it was lost, or the woman waived the *ketubah* in favor of her husband, or she sold her *ketubah* to him, he must compose a document [obligating himself] for [at least] the fundamental requirement of the *ketubah* if he desires to continue living with his wife. For it is forbidden for a man to continue living with his wife for even a single moment without [her having] a *ketubah*.
When, however, a woman sells her *ketubah* to others for the possible benefit, [her husband] does not have to write another *ketubah* for her. For the *ketubah* was instituted solely so that it would not be a casual matter for [a man] to divorce [his wife]. In this instance, if [the woman's husband] divorces her, he must pay her *ketubah* to the purchaser in the same way that he would pay her if she had not sold it. [11] When [a man] consecrates a woman and writes her a *ketubah*, but does not enter into a *chuppah* with her, her status is that of an *arusah* and not that of a *nesu'ah*. For a *ketubah* does not bring about *nisu'in*. If [the husband] dies or divorces her, she may collect the fundamental requirement of the *ketubah* from property possessed by the man or his estate. She does not collect the additional sum [that he attached to the *ketubah*] at all, for they did not enter [a *chuppah*].
If, by contrast, a man consecrates a woman and does not write a *ketubah* for her, and he dies or divorces her while she is still an *arusah*, she has no claim against him, not even for the fundamental [requirement of the *ketubah*]. For our Sages did not grant [a woman] the fundamental requirement of the *ketubah* until the marriage is consummated or until the husband writes a document for her.
When a man consecrates his daughter, and [her intended husband] writes her a *ketubah* and dies or divorces her while she is a *na'arah*, her father receives [payment for] her *ketubah*, as explained in Chapter Three above. [12] Similarly, our Sages ordained that whoever weds a virgin should celebrate with her for seven days. He should not pursue his occupation, nor should he involve himself in commercial dealings; he should eat, drink and celebrate. [This ruling applies] regardless of whether the groom had been married before or not.
If the bride is not a virgin, [he should celebrate with her] for no less than three days. For it is an ordinance of our Sages that a husband - regardless of whether he was married before or not - should celebrate with a non-virgin bride for three days. [13] A man may wed several women at one time on one day and recite the marriage blessings for all of them at the same time. With regard to the celebrations, however, he must rejoice with each bride the time allotted to her: seven days for a virgin, three days for a non-virgin. One celebration should not be allowed to overlap with another. [14] It is permitted to consecrate a woman on any weekday, even on Tish'ah B'Av, whether during the day or during the night. With regard to weddings, by contrast, a wedding is not conducted on a Friday or a Sunday. [This is] a decree, [ordained] lest conducting the wedding feast lead to the desecration of the Sabbath, for a groom is preoccupied with the wedding feast. Needless to say, a wedding is not conducted on the Sabbath.
Even on Chol HaMo'ed weddings are not held, as we have explained, for one celebration should not be mixed with another, as [implied by Genesis 29:27]: "Complete the week [of celebration] of this one and then I will give you this other one."
On other days, it is permitted to wed a woman on any day one desires, provided one spends three days preparing for the wedding feast. [15] In a locale where the court holds session only on Monday and Thursday, a virgin bride should be wed on Wednesday. Thus, if her husband has a claim with regard to her virginity, he can take it to the court early the next morning.
It is the custom of the Sages that a man who weds a non-virgin bride should wed her on Thursday, so that he will celebrate with her on Thursday, Friday and the Sabbath. On Sunday, he will go back to work. [16] When a man consecrates his daughter while she is below the age of majority, both she and her father may object and delay the wedding until she comes of age and becomes a *na'arah*. If [the husband] desires to wed her, he may. It is not proper, however, to do so. [17] If a man consecrated [a girl], delayed several years, and seeks to wed her while she is a *na'arah*, the girl is given twelve months from the day he makes his request, to outfit herself and prepare what she needs for him. Only afterwards, must she wed.
If he makes his request after she becomes a *bogeret*, she is given twelve months from the day she becomes a *bogeret*. Similarly, if he consecrates her on the day on which she becomes a *bogeret*, she is given twelve months from the day of the *kiddushin* - i.e., the day on which she became a *bogeret*.
When he consecrates her after she has become a *bogeret*, if more than twelve months have passed from the time she became a *bogeret* until he consecrates her, she is given only 30 days from the day he requests to wed her [to prepare]. Similarly, when a man consecrates a non-virgin bride, she is given 30 days [to prepare] from the day he requests to wed her. [18] Just as a woman is given time to outfit herself after her groom requests to wed her and then the wedding is held, so too, time is granted to the man to prepare himself if the woman requests the wedding to be held.
How much time is granted him? The same as is granted her. If [she would be granted] twelve months, [he is granted] twelve months. If [she would be granted] thirty days, [he is granted] thirty days. [19] When the time allotted to the man passes and he still has not wed his *arusah*, he is obligated to provide her livelihood, although they have not wed. [Nevertheless,] if [the final day in] the time allotted him falls on Sunday or Friday, he is not liable for her livelihood on that day, for the wedding cannot be held then. Similarly, if he or she falls ill or she enters the *niddah* state at the conclusion of the time allotted him, he is not obligated to provide her with her livelihood. For she is not fit to wed until she purifies herself, or until she becomes healthy. Similarly, he is not able to wed a woman until he regains his health.
Version: Mishneh Torah, trans. by Eliyahu Touger. Jerusalem, Moznaim Pub. c1986-c2007
Source: https://www.nli.org.il/he/books/NNL_ALEPH001020101/NLI
License: CC-BY-NC