💾 Archived View for tilde.team › ~aei › fame.gmi captured on 2024-05-10 at 11:50:51. Gemini links have been rewritten to link to archived content
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Insane how far fame can push someone down this endless spiral, the irresistible urge to just be seen, and seen more, and seen more, and seen more.
We want to be famous until we become famous.
Sometimes I feel this urge.
The need to be seen, by everyone. It's not really healthy, I'd know that.
Fame is path of constant failure, the euphoric sense of being noticed for just a split-second, then immediately plummeting down onto a pile of bleakness, wishing for the pleasure to return.
You are alone, you wish for someone to come. A friend arrives for you, You are no longer alone, you feel happy, then safe, then content, then sick, then feel, then wish for someone else to come, then someone else comes, and it loops back. I have a slight thought that this feeling is also part of the survival instinct, or at least somehow evolved from that. We didn't need all the fame or attention, we just wanted to remain alive, so we needed enough attention to make sure we survive. Maybe the modern hunger for fame is a derivative of that in some shape? Not only am I not an expert, I am also an idiot; so please just don't take my words for it.
Anyways, I want to reflect a little more on that statement I made.
"We want to be famous until we become famous"
This is very cliche, I know. Be careful of what you wish for blah blah blah... this is not a saturday morning cartoon, I have an actual point to make here.
Being famous is hard, really. At least it kinda felt like that for me.
The urge to change to please those around you, keeping the fame you built, or at least try to.
Some want the attention at their way, up until they realize it may be overwhelming for one to handle, that's why so many need mental health breaks off of social media every once in a while.
Some realize the consequences of the situation and abandon everything in the hopes of finding the peace they gave up.
Some acknowledge how the fame sheds off their soul, but they can't disappoint everyone so they continue for the audience. Eventually none of their previous self remains there, only a mimic that is there to keep the ravaging fans at their control.
So eventually you either abandon the fame or you abandon the soul that didn't want it.
Some eventually get used to it but they're never really the same, are they?
Those who are famous sometimes deserve it, like someone who makes art, or someone who saves lives.
Sometimes the fame is deserved for terrible people, like someone who ruins lives and causes chaos. It's more commonly known as "bad publicity", and you know how the saying goes, "bad publicity is good publicity". Wrongdoers should be recognized for their actions, but unfortunately some of them really know how to capitalize on that.
Sometimes the fame is undeserved, with modern social media this is common as hell.
Remember that one person online who did something dumb on [Social Platformâ„¢ #427] which became a trend.
No skill, no talent, just dumb luck coming to someone who wants and knows how to tame it for as long as possible.
Sometimes you'll see them sent to you in the group chat, sometimes you'll see them while ordinarily browsing the internet, sometimes you'll see them in advertisement because they are know and why wouldn't any company pay for some in-their-five-minutes-of-fame celebrity endorsement? It's cheap, it's marketable, it's recognized, it just makes sense.
Isn't it tiring to see the same faces of those you do not care about everywhere you go? To me, yeah. It's not pleasant to wake up like seeing the same posts with the same punchlines (usually not quite funny) by the same bunch of people like I'm living in Groundhog Day (1993).
Thinking about those who are "known because they are known" brings increasingly destructive approach onto life.
Thoughts such as "why isn't it me?", "how do i do this?", and "am i just worse?" being to roam around in my mind after looking at these people, erasing every acknowledgment to how good my life currently is, "Grass is greener on the other side" syndrome.
An endless whirlpool of self-deprecation, comparisons, and thoughts of insignificance and inferiority.
It is obvious that this is an unhealthy environment to be in. Then why am I still there? God knows why I never stopped when I had the chance.
After you try enough you'll eventually "make it" they say, don't they?
Well, I'll have the pleasure to tell you I have "made it", I found that this fame stuff is not worth it, it was never worth it.
It was not fame what I was looking for, nor attention, but happiness.
I didn't find it yet, but I will, eventually.
With enough dedication and/or arrogance you'll go anywhere, no matter how high or low.
I'm gonna be honest, this was going to be a response to someone because of some stuff, but I devolved too far from the main subject and started rambling more about myself rather than the person this was intended for, so instead of the fabled [crtl+a > backspace] thought it would be lot more fitting to push this somewhere as a separate thing.
Plus I just wanted some excuse to do more stuff on Gemini besides occasionally hanging out in the midnight pub, but regardless I hope you had a good laugh at how far I can cry and ramble about a single topic that isn't foxes or pink puffballs.
Hope I didn't waste too much of your time, it is the most valuable thing we own after all, I still offer no refunds though.