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'Session 0' is the pre-game evening to talk about the game, without having the game. I don't see any reason for five people to lose an evening, planning future evenings.
I want to run through the standard arguments, just to give solidity to the feeling of wasted time prompted by the phrase 'session zero'.
People should know what they're getting into.
They should, but they'll learn more about what they're getting into with session 1 than session 0.
Session zero is where you set expectations on acceptable behaviour.
This line gives me a foreboding feeling, as it inevitably comes with some horrifying story about a problem-player pitching up at a gaming table, and saying their character gropes other characters. The fix suggested by session zero requires a group discussion on how much groping-narrative people want.
Personally, if I wander up to a convention with unknown people, and the question arises of how much explicit sexual content we want in a game of mixed ages comes up, I'll find another table.
If you're good friends with everyone at the table, you already know what kinds of things they can comfortably talk about, in terms of gory combat, torture, or sex, so nobody needs to have the discussion. If you feel you actually should have that discussion, or you don't know everyone at the table all that well, just remove sex from the game, and keep tabs on unpleasant reactions to gore.
People who don't really want to hear sexual content won't necessarily want to say so.
If someone mentions their character seducing the barmaid, make a roll, end scene. We'll see them in the morning.
"But what happens with the hot barmaid?"
The usual stuff. The other characters spot a fire outside
of town, maybe three miles away, in the trees.
What do you do?
"But wait, I want tell the maid, that uh..."
Okay, then fade to black, and we'll see Oglash the berzerker
next morning.
"But what if we..."
Fade. To. Black.
Even games which rely heavily on sexual tension, like Vampire: The Masquerade, don't need any details.
People need time to make their characters
People should make characters in session 1, and if nobody can make a character and start the game within this time-frame, then the GM has a serious problem on their hands. If the system demands two hours to make a character, but you only plan on two-hour sessions, then your system's complexity will sap at your group's limited time. If your game needs short sessions, then it also needs fast, easy rules.
Session Zero lays out the game's genre and tone, and the kinds of content everyone wants to see.
We don't need 20 minutes per player to analyse a game which hasn't happened. Here's my last campaign's description:
Fenestra has a dark fantasy feel, and the
campaign structure encourages exploration.
Done.
The best laid plans of dice and men will definitely go awry anyway. You'll know the campaign's themes and genre two sessions before it ends.
What if players want to say what themes they want? High vs low fantasy? Social intrigue vs combat.
Most DMs have a good chunk of their material written out beforehand, so things aren't always that flexible. But if someone really is a great improviser, the Campaign's direction can - once again - change shape as it progresses.
Players need to know what each others' triggers are.
The RPG community have displayed a disturbingly fetishistic focus on trauma triggers, quite disproportional to their prevalence, and with bizarre solutions which could never find adoption in normal social settings. Most of humanity live life, discuss breaking news, watch films, and read books, without a lengthy introduction about content. If your solution for other people's trauma doesn't work anywhere else, it's not going to work at a gaming table.
Any time I've encountered people with a traumatic background that needs addressed, they mention it in private, not around a table in the open. If I ever get locked in a tiny box full of snakes, I won't start talking about it to a full table of people; especially not during a would-be games night. I certainly wouldn't appreciate being asked about it publicly.
Players should take their time crafting backstories, and showing how they tie in together.
Boring! Nobody at the table writes for a living - in the best-case scenario they've written Twilight fan-fiction (and I say this with sincere acknowledgement that anyone who spends time writing fan-fiction probably writes more interesting stories than I do). The game derives interest from seeing an emergent narrative unfold from puzzles, decisions, and randomness. A session-zero with monologue backstories replaces the game with a creative writing workshop. And I guess that's something you might do, but it's not my cup of tea, and definitely not something anyone should demand as a standard.
The first session is session 1. For decades people have managed to actually start a game in session 1, including making characters, setting tone and theme, and without trying to poke into players' personal business.
Here's my session one.