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World’s sloppiest time pilot

I went back in time to try to warn ‘em about climate change and here I am again in the distant future of the year 2023 but the world’s still in trouble.

I talked to this one guy, Plato. Let’s see what he wrote… Atlantis?! Some island? Peeps aren’t gonna get the metaphor. They’re gonna be looking for mermaids & orichalcum, not externalities & methane. 🤦🏻‍♀️

I went a li’l further back. The flood—not sure saving some rich dorks on a boat is what we’re looking for here, Noah. The Tower of Babel—OK, getting closer. That second in the garden—fair enough. But people are gonna be reading these overly literally while simultaneously not realizing the direness of the straits in the here and now.

I went back again and asked ‘em just what part of leave it in the ground don’t they understand?

And they said “No, my child—I’m digging for fire!”

I can’t even. Gonna go fetch the spoon.