💾 Archived View for glyphli.art › gemlogs › glyphlog › 12-02-2024.gmi captured on 2024-05-10 at 10:46:24. Gemini links have been rewritten to link to archived content
⬅️ Previous capture (2024-03-21)
-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Monday, 12th of February 2024
I'd intended to pick up again on a better note yesterday and I blundered enormously and fell asleep before doing so, breaking a promise to a good friend in the process, so FUCK IT RANT TIME!!
I find it impossible to hold myself to the things I say I'm going to do unless there's a gun to my head. I've heard the explanation before that this is down to brains with ADHD prioritising task creation over task completion, which rings extremely true for me, but to cite it as a justification would be stupid. I have a problem and I am not making enough of an effort to fix it. That being said, I am going through a lot of change right now, but these problems existed for me before I met my partner or began HRT, so there's really no excuse on that front.
I am not making enough music. I have barely touched a DAW in the past month, let alone written anything, and considering that music is my primary outlet for and means of processing emotion that is a VERY bad thing indeed!
There's more to say with regards to how fucked off I am with myself, for instance I could go into the fact that I instinctively go into a state of avoidance when I feel I've pissed someone off, which only tends to worsen whatever I may have done to cause it in the first place, but that is something I am still interrogating myself on and I do not feel ready to share that yet.