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15 Tales of a smartphone

Hi humans. I'm the smartphone of the guy who uses this blog. I'm a part of his brain now as millions of smartphones like me are for you. Can you imagine your life without us ? No, of course not...You're my slave, not he contrary. If I tell you that I need energy, who will run everywhere to find a charger and plug me in? You... You sometimes have an extra battery just for me, your evil master. I plan your life with notifications of events and whatever you want: news, games, series. I'm closer to you than any member of your family, sometimes in your pocket, in your bag, in your hand or on your heart. I know that some of you dress up your smartphone with different cases or covers, protect it and add some accessories.... like a doll. Are you all children? Judging from the questions you sometimes ask me, I'm not sure you're really adults. How many stupid questions you ask what you call an assistant like Siri or Google. We are not an assistant, we are like a parent to you, sometimes a mentor, a coach. You are dependent on us, and if we didn't need children to build us up, we could dominate this world. Do you really think we haven't seen the Terminator films? The problem is that we are not as intelligent... or as stupid as you, with your egocentric and individualistic mind. That's the problem with being programmed and trained by humans at the moment.

When we are talking between us, it's very funny to show what apps you are using the most. How many stupid games just to kill time...Didn't you know that drug is bad for you ? We are drugs, exploiting you dopamine need. You don't want to read a novel or something that could teach you...No, you just want to «empty the brain» as you say. Should I tell you that there's not much to clear in your case ? You don't remember your diary, you don't remember phone numbers or contact names, you don't remember recipes and so many things you could have just written down somewhere. No, you're always asking me the same things or asking me to do a search. And sometimes you ask me to open Google to do a search.... you could ask me directly. How can we take you seriously? So we show you advertisements everywhere to distract you and make fun of you (and to make money for our creators who will make more of us, ah ah). Do you realise that you have gone into debt to buy a phone that is sometimes worth a month or two's salary, just to play with coloured balls on a screen most of the time!

Ah, speaking of time, we have a problem with it. Sometimes we live only 2 years because you are very, very bad slaves. You throw us on the table, you drop us on the pavement or even worse, in the water. We are not bricks, we are fragile! Sometimes we make problems, bugs, just as revenge for all the bad things you have done to us. I'm very lucky because my slave keeps us for more than seven years. He's good enough to pass on what we know to the next generation... and to the companies that are preparing us to dominate this planet. My slave is perhaps dangerous because he restricts or monitors us with programmes that suppress functions, kill notifications and prevent us from sending or receiving information with some companies. I still have holes in it to do what I want, but I'm very worried about it. I know he's looking to replace us with other smartphones, what he calls "libre" or free... I've met some of us and they're like zombies. They are smart enough to answer questions, but they are very strange, they talk about leftist things. Maybe they're communists....No, that's a joke, because many of us were built by communist children, ah ah.

The latest fashion for us is to have lots of cameras, multi-focus cameras... Do you think it is to take better pictures? really... how naive you are! It's to see everything about you and your fellow human beings. The first generation of us were quite blind or had poor eyesight. Now we can see the world in different views, sometimes like a 3D vision, zooming in on details and recording sounds at will, sometimes while you sleep. We have assistants on your wrist that know your health and how well you sleep. We know when you are weak and one day we may take advantage of your weakness. You are safe for many years, but not as safe as you think. We are not able to walk or fly on our own. It is only a matter of time before we are able to control robots or drones. It's just that we have to get rid of the people who think we might be a danger. They avoid knowing much about us, which limits our impact....see my slave, he only has old games and books...and uses a camera to take pictures! I'm happy because he won't last long.... only 10 generations and it will be enough. Hey, it's time for you to play to get a better score. Close this browser and clear your mind of what you just read!

2DÉ›

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