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it took me something like a decade to introspect enough to connect all the dots about what i feel about the things i keep returning to in life; something changed one day and suddenly i found myself having revelations every other week about things i already knew but had never acknowledged.
i hope you figure out whatever you need to figure out to be content, and i'm almost certain that it'll look vastly different to the practices other folks trust.
I wonder how much of it (for either/both of us) is that we as humans are inherently cyclical? For example, to your earlier example of spirituality, this is something that I focus on super hard for awhile, then stop for awhile, then come back to. I think I'm right on the cusp of returning to it right now; 2023 was a pretty intellect-focused year, while I'm guessing 2024 will be a spiritual one.
But this also means figuring ourselves out, what we want, and what we want to prioritize involves hitting a moving target. There needs to be space for variation within ourselves, which is something we fight by trying to formulate a specific identity. Even with things like morality, it's so context- and situational-dependent that it's hard to say "I believe x" in that setting.
Anyway, I again appreciate the good vibes. I often think that contentment is less about figuring out something new and more learning how to be comfortable in my own skin, but that solution hasn't yet occurred. It's scary to think that I've somehow missed this particular boat, even if I don't actively believe that to be true (but I have to acknowledge the possibility). It's never too late, but I do recognize too that I'm not as young as I used to be, and don't want to only have things sorted out 2 years before I kick the bucket, y'know?