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This is another myth about PMOing spread mainly by PMOers who, when attempting to stop on the Willpower Method, substitute mental gymnastics - they propose to act -Jekyll and Hyde: “Porn is for my alter ego side and real life romance is for my relationship side.” Nothing is further from the truth. The porn waterslides - the deltaFosBs and all the brain changes are going to overrun the real life romance and will make it less desirable. Mr Hyde is most definitely going to overrule Dr. Jekyll’s instructions.
If you use internet porn, you may be training yourself for the role of voyeur or to need the option of clicking to something more arousing at the least drop in your dopamine levels, or to search and search for just the right scene for maximum effect. Also, you may be masturbating in a hunched-over position – or watching your smartphone in bed nightly. You will eventually desire those cues more than the real life action. The thing that goes against real sex is the lack of novelty, variety, ‘harem’ like 24/7 quick delivery etc. and so it stands no chance compared to your online harem. The younger you were when you started on PMO the longer to rewire and break down those ‘porn water slides’ and get back those ‘real water slides’ if there were any from the past or create new ones. Also powerful and lasting are the associated memories from when you were young.
Every time you take a ride on the ‘porn water slide’ you are ‘greasing’ it - keeping the nerves fresh. When you park next to a fast food restaurant the smell of the fries floats from the pan into your nostrils and the sale was already made. Likewise, the porn water slides in your brain are there for you to get sucked in and they are open 24 hours a day. Each of these cues, or triggers, can now light up your reward circuit with the promise of sex... only it isn't sex. Nevertheless, nerve cells may solidify these associations with sexual arousal by sprouting new branches to strengthen the connections. The more you use porn the stronger the nerve connections can become, with the result that you may ultimately need to be a voyeur, need to click to new material, need to climax to porn to get to sleep, or need to search for the perfect ending just to get the job done.
As with any substance or behavioural drug, after a while the body becomes immune and the “drug” ceases to relieve the withdrawal pangs completely. As soon as we close a session, the addict wants another one very soon and he has a permanent hunger. The natural inclination is eventually to ‘escalate’ just to get the dopamine rush. However, most PMOers are prevented from doing this for one, or both, of two reasons.
1. Money - they cannot afford to subscribe to paid porn sites.
2. Health - There is only so much the body can take - either the motivator dopamine surges or the orgasms. And orgasms actually trigger anti-dopamine chemicals to cut down the dopamine flush. It has to - that is the way the body works.
Once that little monster leaves your body the awful feeling of insecurity ends. Your confidence returns, together with a marvellous feeling of self-respect. You obtain the assurance to take control of your life, not only in your other habits but also in all other ways. This is one of the many great advantages of being free from any addiction.
As I have said, the ‘compartment’ myth is due to one of many tricks that the little monster plays with your mind. In fact, these tricks do not make it easier to stop, they make it harder. The PMOer is therefore left with a permanent hunger that he can never satisfy. This is why many PMOers turn to cigarettes, heavy drinking or even harder drugs in order to satisfy the void.
I had suggested watching porn with one of my partners. But eventually I noticed it did not enhance my arousal at all. The sex was not better. I realized that it actually diminished my attraction towards her. We humans are rating animals - we always self rate and other rate. I am sure she rated me against the male porn start too. Why take chances? Do you want Brad Pitt in your bedroom, even if he is in a poster? No one man or woman can match a harem where each ‘experience’ is acted, scripted and directed by professionals and at the ready 24 hours a day.
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