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CMV: The ability to speak with animals would be a useless superpower.

Posted by u/ThisIsMyGameAccount on r/changemyview

Original post via Teddit

A friend and I were having the debate of animal talking vs fluent in every language. He was team animal talking, I’m team fluency.

Here’s my argument. First, Being fluent opens a lot of possibilities for personal gain. Second, talking to animals would be a novelty that makes you a circus act. Third, we can already communicate with animals through body language and vocalization, and animals would not be very interesting. What does a dog have to say? Most importantly, You have to assume that gaining the power to speak to animals makes all animals fluent in your language. Otherwise you’ll just be speaking with simple creatures. It’s be like having a convo with a toddler.

Response by u/no_fluffies_please

If we’re comparing the ability to speak with animals with the ability to speak any language, it might be a matter of personal preference. Let’s compare the pro’s and cons for 3 different lifestyles:

Alice: Alice is someone who would primarily use their power for personal gain, and she has no qualms making it her primary form of income.

animals: if Alice could speak with animals, that gives her a skillset that is completely unique to herself- aside from the likes of Steve Irwin. She can be a consultant for the wealthy (a legitimate dog whisperer), perhaps a truffle hunter if she can convince a pig not to eat them, or save lives disarming landmines by teaching mice to safely search for them. These are actually the tip of the iceberg. If she’s more creative and unsavory, she could help with animal research and understand the side effects or mental effects of drugs and medication.
languages: Alice has a completely unique skill set that excels in a room with more than 3 important international figures, but whatever niche she finds can be replaced with multiple translators or specialists who happen to speak multiple languages. If she also has the ability to mimic accents, that opens up many roles as a voice actor or star. When Alice is retired, she can save some cash retiring in a LCOL country with comfort.

Bob: Bob is a laid back man who has his life otherwise figured out and would mostly use his power to enrich his life.

animals: Bob could speak with his cat or dog, and have a more meaningful relationship. He could talk with it about its day, ask about what’s stressing it, maybe even understand deeper the experiences of a cat/dog as if they were any other family member. If he likes gardening, he could get enlist the help of some birds to help get rid of pests in exchange for food. This is the tip of the iceberg. If Bob were more philosophical, he could understand more about the nature of consciousness and sapience by speaking with a variety of creatures. What’s it like going from a caterpillar to a butterfly? What do pigeons think of us and our weird habits? What’s the most respectful way to admire wildlife? This power offers him (and the world) new knowledge, understanding, and experiences.
language: Bob can travel the world and feel like he can fit in anywhere. He can always ask for directions, always knows how to ask for help. If he has a spouse from another country, he can connect with the other side of the family without any language barrier. Technology is catching up, but this is mostly an ability of convenience and clarity. He can watch shows/play video games from foreign countries. Overall, subtitles/voice translation apps would have been enough to get by. After all, how often does Bob really travel the world? He can already communicate well with the people he interacts with most of the time: friends, family, and coworkers.

Carol: Carol is a secret government agent straight out of fiction. She uses her abilities primarily for her unique role and to catch adversaries off guard.

animals: Carol can train and communicate with crows to keep tabs on public figures. She can train dogs with high precision on detecting drugs, identifying imposters, and giving them complex commands. She can communicate with endangered species to locate poachers. She can train mice to plant small electronic devices for snooping. Or sparrows to divebomb tranquilizer darts on targets. Or assassinate targets with squirrels relocating and dropping bombs from trees or under cars. She can do this all with complete safety and secrecy, and enemies will have trouble trying to replicate her methods. The animals she can train are limited, which can make her tactics easier to detect and plan for if it becomes known. But that’s just the tip of the iceberg. She can make a laughingstock of an anti-US foreign political candidate with bird droppings, or dull their mental edge by making sure they can’t sleep at night due to birds chirping or bed bugs transferred by rats.
languages: Carol could listen in on other’s conversations when they let down their guard. She could clarify important misunderstandings due to issues with translations. She is a very flexible agent, and can gather information from any local. However, using her abilities in a way that’s unique to her will always put her at risk. Moreover, there’s only so much she can do that a normal translator cannot. However, I’d imagine it’s mighty convenient not having to look for someone with clearance who knows a niche language.

This took way longer than I expected. I’m also writing this with the assumption that Alice, Bob, and Carol are Americans, I imagine there would be different benefits for this from other countries. TL;DR, speaking with animals is a truly unique ability that opens many doors. Speaking any language is somewhat niche and marginally/situationally better than normal translators or technology.