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Math jokes

Found here, there, and everywhere on the web and in email forwards from 1987.

Alternate methods of mathematical proof

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Why do mathematicians get Halloween and Christmas confused?

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What’s nonorientable and lives in the sea?

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Why did the chicken cross the Moebius strip?

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What’s yellow and equivalent to the Axiom of Choice.

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What’s purple and commutes?

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What’s a polar bear?

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What’s your favorite thing about mathematics?

Yeah, me neither.

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This Fibonacci joke is as bad as the last two you heard combined.

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Life is complex. It has both real and imaginary components.

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A topologist is a mathematician who can’t tell their doughnut from their coffee mug.

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I don’t want fractions being taught in my child’s classroom. If they’re not improper, they’re downright vulgar.

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There are 10 kinds of people in the world: those who understand binary and those who don’t.

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There are 10 kinds of people in the world: those who understand binary, those who don’t, and those who knew this joke was going to be in ternary.

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There are 10 kinds of people in the world: those who understand hexadecimal, and F the rest.

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There are three kinds of people in the world: those who can count, and those who can’t.

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There are two kinds of people in the world: those who can extrapolate from incomplete information,

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What’s 49 divided by 98? Well, just cancel the 9s!

49   4   1
── = ─ = ─
98   8   2

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Just a fun little math limerick:

12+144+20+3sqrt(4)
────────────────── + (5*11) = 9^2+0
        7

“How is this a limerick,” you ask? Well...

A dozen, a gross, and a score
Plus three times the square root of four
Divided by seven
Plus five times eleven
Is nine squared and not a bit more.

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Yeah, I used to think it was just recreational... then I started doin’ it during the week... you know, simple stuff: differentiation, kinematics. Then I got into integration by parts... I started doin’ it every night: path integrals, holomorphic functions. Now I’m on diophantine equations and sinking deeper into transfinite analysis. Don’t let them tell you it’s just recreational.

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lim  8
x→0  ─ = ∞
     x
     
     ∴

lim  Z
x→0  ─ = N
     x

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