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2015-11-17 09:13:43
Deborah M. Kolb
From the November 2015 Issue
Most seasoned managers know how to handle formal negotiations at work with
clients over contracts, with bosses over budgets, with employers over
compensation. But what about all the opportunities for informal negotiations
that arise? Do you know how to recognize and seize chances to move into a
better role, change an untenable situation, or ensure that you get credit for
extra work?
In the 35 years I ve been studying negotiation and coaching executives, I ve
found that many people don t. Consider the following examples:
Charlotte, a sales manager, learned through the grapevine that a regional role
was opening up and wanted to be considered for it. But she d also heard that
another candidate, whom the division president knew well, was a front-runner
for the job. She wondered how to put herself in contention.
Kevin, a communications director, pitched in to help another division save a
major client, to great acclaim. Soon colleagues in that division kept asking
him to contribute. He wasn t sure how to say no.
Marina, the CFO of a $4 billion division in a large industrial manufacturing
firm, had been promoted to her job two years earlier. She d relocated to
headquarters a requirement for taking the position and brought her husband and
children with her, but they were unhappy and wanted to move back home. She
felt she had to choose between her job and her family.
Further Reading
Breakthrough Bargaining
Influence Magazine Article
Deborah M. Kolb Judith Williams
Sometimes the hardest part of an informal negotiation is persuading the other
side to deal with the issues. Understanding the dynamics of the shadow
negotiation can help get things rolling.
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All three of these professionals (whose names have been changed) were
understandably stymied. Negotiating on your own behalf can feel much less
comfortable than negotiating as an agent for your company, especially when it
happens outside the typical structure of a hiring or review process. More
emotions are in play; it s often difficult to figure out exactly what you want
or how to get the conversation started; and failure carries a higher cost. In
some organizations, advocating for yourself may be seen as being demanding or
not a team player. This can be especially true for women, who are sometimes
hit by what researchers call the social cost of asking. And in some cases,
the very issues you want to negotiate may challenge established ways of doing
work.
But executives hurt themselves if they ignore everyday opportunities to push
for better assignments, goals, or performance measures; more resources or
flexibility; or higher compensation. I ve found that these types of
negotiations, which I call lowercase n negotiations, matter just as much as
formal, N negotiations. They can drive career success and fulfillment and
also have the potential to spark positive organizational change.
So we all need a strategy for everyday negotiations that will allow us to come
away not only successful but also still held in high regard by bosses and
colleagues. I counsel those with whom I work to focus on four steps: recognize,
prepare, initiate, and navigate.
Recognize
Negotiation opportunities aren t always obvious, especially if you ve never
thought to ask for anything in the past. But some routine situations cry out
for bargaining. For example, if you say yes to a special assignment or a
request for help when you want to say no, that s an opportunity to negotiate
for something in return. When you re asked to take on a new initiative, with
its attendant risks, that s an opportunity to negotiate for support. If your
workload expands beyond what s reasonable and cuts into your family time, that
s an opportunity to negotiate for more resources or to change the scope of your
role. You must pick your battles, though. The issue should be important to you,
but your desired outcome should not only benefit you personally but also
benefit your organization, as a result of your increased productivity and
commitment and new cultural norms that allow colleagues to achieve the same.
The decision to negotiate should be made with a sense of the end in mind.
Initially, Marina didn t even consider talking to her boss, Robert, the company
s CFO, about an arrangement that would allow her to both keep her job and live
with her family. She focused on all the obstacles lack of precedent, presumed
resistance and never imagined an ideal scenario. She conceded the negotiation
without even starting it.
Kevin at first thought he needed to respond yes or no to the other division s
continued requests for help, rather than contrive a yes-and solution: Yes, he
would do the work, and in order to do it well he would need his boss to
officially broaden his role to include the new responsibilities.
Prepare
Preparation is critical to any negotiation. But how can you prepare for an
informal one that your counterpart isn t expecting?
First, gather good information.
The more you know about what others have asked for and been granted at work,
the more comfortable you ll feel crafting your own negotiation. Marina didn t
think her company had ever allowed anyone to do a headquarters job out of
another office, but she decided to check. She learned that one executive had
indeed been given permission to work remotely for six weeks while he was
helping to manage a family illness. When Charlotte asked around, she learned
that her organization was in the early stages of considering who might fill the
regional role; the other candidate didn t yet have a lock on the job.
Some routine situations cry out for bargaining.
You also need intelligence on the parties with whom you ll be negotiating. How
do they like to receive news or special requests? Do they want a lot of advance
notice? Do they want you to present a solution or to develop one with you?
Robert hadn t hired Marina; in fact, they d worked together for less than a
year. But she knew that he tended to resist unconventional ideas and practices;
he liked the usual way of doing things. So she understood that she d have to
enter her negotiation slowly and be ready for pushback. Charlotte, too,
realized early on that she had an uphill climb because Michael, the division
president, already had a favorite in mind, but she learned as much as she could
both about the job requirements and the qualities Michael valued most in his
employees and about his decision-making style.
Second, position yourself.
Interdependence gives people a reason to negotiate. So look at how your work
enables your counterpart and others to succeed; that will help you discern what
he or she values in you and assess yourself in a currency that matters. Marina
knew that Robert appreciated the work she d done in her divisional role. She d
achieved significant profit growth, managed a difficult labor negotiation,
overseen an important acquisition, and aggressively pursued cost reductions.
Since Robert was new to the company, she was also his lifeline to the leaders
in her large division. All this gave her leverage.
Another way to think about your value proposition and your relative bargaining
position is to consider your and your partner s best alternative to a
negotiated agreement, or BATNA (as Roger Fisher and William Ury call it in
Getting to Yes). Kevin s BATNA was to stop putting in extra time for the other
division and return to his day job ; his colleagues and boss had weaker
BATNAs, because they had nobody as well suited as Kevin to do the relevant
work. Marina s BATNAs weren t very appealing: She didn t want to live apart
from her family, and she wasn t confident that she could find a job as good as
her current one in her previous hometown. But her boss s BATNA wasn t good
either. There were no obvious candidates who could take on her role and be as
successful as she d been.
Third, anchor with options.
Negotiations require creativity. When you present many ideas, you re framing
the negotiation in a way that encourages the other party to join. You shouldn t
fixate on a single solution that works for you. Instead consider what matters
to your counterpart and find multiple ways to satisfy both of you.
In developing options, it helps to think what good reasons your counterpart
might have for saying no to an arrangement you propose. These are on the hidden
agenda of any negotiation.
Charlotte knew from her information gathering that Michael would probably balk
at her youth and inexperience in comparison with his favored candidate and
suggest that she needed more seasoning in her current role before taking on a
new one. So she broadened her proposals to include volunteering to perform the
role in an acting capacity for a limited period of time, with clear
performance benchmarks, or taking another developmental opportunity that would
put her more firmly on a leadership track.
Marina was sure that Robert would be concerned about breaking from precedent,
the incremental expense of a flexible arrangement, and losing touch with her
and her division. So she rejected ideas that would heighten those concerns such
as working from home and coming in to headquarters only for meetings and
focused on ones that would assuage them, such as splitting her time between her
old divisional office and HQ. She also pulled together a spreadsheet of
estimated expenses. These preparations not only boosted her confidence but also
helped her appreciate Robert s point of view and put her in the right mindset
to work on a joint solution.
Initiate
Any two people typically feel asymmetrical desires to engage in everyday
negotiations. One has a problem or sees an opportunity; the other probably
doesn t and therefore expects business as usual. How can you shift a normal
interaction into a collaborative rather than combative negotiation?
Start by making your value visible. When Marina decided to approach Robert
about her work-family conflict, she didn t begin the conversation with it. She
first reviewed her results since their previous meeting and updated him on a
recent acquisition. Only then did she mention her problem and begin to talk
about ideas for solving it.
If the other party stonewalls, you can consider various tactics. One is to
round up allies who will vouch for your value and encourage the person to
negotiate with you. Because Charlotte didn t know Michael very well, she
enlisted another leader in the division to extol her virtues and the
contributions she was making to the company.
Another approach is to acknowledge and address one or more of your counterpart
s good reasons for saying no to prove that you ve thought about his or her
perspective. Often the response will be Right, this is my concern, which
opens the door to a conversation about the issue. Marina chose this path. Her
boss s most legitimate fear was that he would lose his connection to the
division. So she gave him a chance to discuss it by saying, I can see why you
might be concerned about this. That s why one of the options I thought about
was dual offices.
You can also introduce a BATNA, but you must do so carefully, so it s not
perceived as a threat. You might mention yours and then retract it. For
example, Marina could have told Robert that she was getting calls from
headhunters (which was true) but then quickly noted that she was committed to
staying at the company if he and she could work out a plan. To make your
counterpart more aware of his or her own BATNA, ask a question such as What do
you think will happen if we don t have this conversation?
Navigate
Once you ve enticed the other party to engage in a negotiation, you must go
into the conversation with an open mind. The proposals you re prepared to offer
are just starting points for an agreement. Three types of questions can help
the two of you develop a plan that works for everyone.
Hypothesis-testing questions start with What if and enable you to introduce
ideas, whether broad or specific, and solicit a reaction. For example, Marina
asked Robert, What if we created dual offices? How would that work? As the
discussion progressed, she got more detailed: What if we had a shared
calendar, so you knew exactly where I would be when? What if you had the
opportunity to be involved in certain divisional meetings? Kevin, too, used
this kind of question to great effect in his conversations with colleagues in
the other division. When he asked, What if I couldn t do this work? he
learned that they would be at a complete loss and were therefore willing to
support him in negotiations with his boss, Dorothy, about taking formal
responsibility over work in their domain.
Reciprocity questions involve if-then scenarios and build the notion of trading
into the negotiation: If I agree to do X, then what will you do? Marina used
this type of question to navigate the issue of costs with her boss: If we
agree to the dual-office arrangement, what else do you need? Ultimately they
decided that she would pay for a reverse relocation, but the company would
absorb the ongoing travel expenses. When Kevin approached Dorothy, his if-then
scenario was If I work with the other division on an ongoing basis, here is
how it could become part of my new and expanded senior director s role.
Circular questions, which simultaneously introduce and gather information,
ensure that the conversation is collaborative, not adversarial. They emphasize
the relationship between you and your counterpart and often unearth deeper
issues at stake. Charlotte knew that simply asking for the role she wanted
would put Michael in an awkward position. So she asked circular questions such
as What are the success criteria for this job? Michael then considered more
deeply what he was looking for, which opened the process up to more candidates.
Marina used circular questions such as What really concerns you? and What
can I do to ease those concerns? with Robert. It turned out that he feared the
plan would fail because she might find the constant commuting too difficult. I
promised him that if that happened, we would work something out, even if it was
an exit strategy, she says. He would not be left high and dry. She also
proposed that they agree to a six-month trial of the dual-office arrangement
and then jointly assess the results.
All three of these executives were successful in their negotiations. Marina and
her family moved back home, but she stayed in her job. The dual-office
arrangement worked, so Robert agreed to make it permanent, establishing a
precedent for senior executives to be based where they could be most effective
and of most value to the company not necessarily at headquarters. Kevin s job
was restructured to include additional staff so that he could work with the new
clients. Charlotte got the regional manager s job and prompted Michael to be
more explicit about the criteria used for promotion in his division.
Everyday negotiations often require you to leave your comfort zone and
challenge established practices. But all evidence indicates that they re worth
the effort for you and for your organization.
A version of this article appeared in the November 2015 issue (pp.130 133) of
Harvard Business Review.
Deborah M. Kolb is the Deloitte Ellen Gabriel Professor for Women in Leadership
(Emerita) and a cofounder of the Center for Gender in Organizations at Simmons
College School of Management. An expert on negotiation and leadership, she is
co-director of The Negotiations in the Workplace Project at the Program on
Negotiation at Harvard Law School. She and Jessica L. Porter are coauthors of
Negotiating at Work: Turn Small Wins into Big Gains (Jossey-Bass, 2015).
Moves and Turns
When negotiators don t want to give you what you re asking for, they often
launch an offensive move. Don t get defensive. Instead, turn the conversation
to get it back on track.
When he challenges your ability I don t think you re ready correct his
impression: I understand why it might appear that way. But here s the
experience I have that shows why I m capable of managing it
When she demeans your ideas as unreasonable That will never work divert her
focus to the solution: What would be a reasonable arrangement?
When he appeals for sympathy It s such a tough time for this group right now
dig deeper: What really concerns you? What can I do to ease those concerns?
When she criticizes your approach This is a really inappropriate request ask
for elaboration: Can you help me understand why?
When he flatters you You re so good in the position you have use a role
reversal: If you were in my shoes, what would you do?
Another turn that works against almost any move is to interrupt the
conversation by sitting silent for a brief period, standing up, or moving to
get a glass of water. Research shows that when you break the action, people
rarely revert to the same negotiating stance, and the pause can lead to
breakthroughs.