💾 Archived View for spiritualinstinct.site › log › 2024-02-06.gmi captured on 2024-03-21 at 15:00:31. Gemini links have been rewritten to link to archived content
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I visited my dad last weekend to celebrate his birthday. It was fun, kind of. We had smoked trout and salmon for dinner. Smoked salmon, especially when it's still warm from the smoker, is one of the main reasons I'll never be a vegetarian.
A few weeks ago my dad and I bought tickets for this festival. We were planning to go there with my dad, his girlfriend, and me. We got four tickets, so we had one extra ticket. A few days later, my mom asked if I could give the ticket to her. I didn't really have a good reason to say no, so I gave her the ticket. I never told my dad.
The thing is, my parents are divorced, and they're not quite on good terms with each other (but that's an entire different griefcase to unpack). I am not sure how my mom is planning on spending the weekend there, at a festival where she might bump into her ex. And his new girlfriend. Or what my dad is going to do or say when he bumps into his ex.
I don't like having to juggle with my parents' feelings. I don't like holding back things for either of them about the other one. I feel like I'm carrying part of their conflict with me, even though I'm the "child" in the relationship and it shouldn't have to be my problem. I can't let go of it easily, I see my mom carrying a lot of emotional baggage with her from the time my dad still lived with her. My dad changed his behavior for the better after he left, but forgiving him seems wrong.
I think I should talk about it with my mom soon. Apart from the meeting-your-ex-thing, she also doesn't have a place to sleep at the festival.