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For up to three weeks after your last PMO session you may be subjected to withdrawal pangs. These consist of two quite separate factors:
1. The withdrawal pangs of dopamine, that empty, insecure feeling, like a hunger, which PMOers identify as a craving or âsomething I must to doâ feeling.
2. The psychological trigger of certain external stimuli such as a commercial, online browsing, a telephone conversation etc.
It is the failure to understand and to differentiate between these two distinct factors that makes it so difficult for PMOers to achieve success on the Willpower Method and it's also the reason why many who do achieve it fall into the trap again.
Although the withdrawal pangs of dopamine flush cause no physical pain, do not underestimate their power. We talk of âhunger painsâ if we go without food for a day; there may be âtummy rumblingsâ but there is no physical pain. Even so, hunger is a powerful force and we are likely to become very irritable when deprived of food. It is similar when our body is craving itâs dopamine rush. The difference is that our body needs food but it doesn't need poison and with the right frame of mind the withdrawal pangs are easily overcome and disappear very quickly.
If PMOers can abstain for a few days on the Willpower Method the craving for dopamine flush soon disappears. It is the second factor that causes the difficulty. The PMOer has got into the habit of relieving his withdrawal pangs at certain times or occasions, which causes an association of ideas (e.g. âI got a hard on so I must PMOâ or âI am on the bed with my laptop and I must PMO to feel happyâ). It may be easier to understand the effect with the help of an example.
You have a car for a few years and let's say the indicator lever is on the left of the steering column. On your next car it is on the right (the law of sod). You know it is on the right but for a couple of weeks you put the windscreen wipers on whenever you want to indicate.
Stopping PMO is similar. During the early days of the withdrawal period the trigger mechanism will operate at certain times. You will think, âI want to PMO.â It is essential to counter the brainwashing right from square one then these automatic cues and triggers will quickly disappear. Under the Willpower Method, because the PMOer believes he is making a sacrifice, he is moping about it and is waiting for the urge to PMO to go - far from removing these trigger mechanisms he is actually increasing them. And under the Mystic Method the PMOer starts to wonder when he is going to become a God and even demand from himself that he should not even have those âbadâ thoughts - this paves the way for self-loathing and failure.
A common trigger is alone time - particularly one at a social event with friends. The ex-PMOer (using other methods) is already miserable because he is being deprived of his usual pleasure or crutch. His friends are with their partners and are acting intimate. He is either single or is not âgettingâ any from his wife for whatever reasons. Now he is not enjoying the meal or what should be a pleasant social occasion. His ready made brain âporn water slidesâ lead him to porn as it is easier than either trying to woo his wife.
Because of his association of his entitlement to sex with his well being he is now suffering a triple blow and the brainwashing is actually being increased. If he is resolute and can hold out long enough he eventually accepts his lot and gets on with his life. However, part of the brainwashing remains and I think the second most pathetic thing about PMOing is the PMOer who has given up for health or money reasons, yet even after several years still craves âjust one visit to the haremâ on certain occasions. He is pining for an illusion that exists only in his mind and is needlessly torturing himself.
Even under my method responding to triggers is the most common failing. The ex-PMOer tends to regard the internet porn as a sort of placebo or sugar pill. He thinks: âI know the porn does nothing for me but if I think it does then on certain occasions it will be a help to me.â
A sugar pill, although giving no actual physical help, can be a powerful psychological aid to relieve genuine symptoms and is therefore a benefit. Internet porn, the habitual masturbation, however, are not sugar pills. Why? Porn creates the symptoms that it relieves and after a while ceases even to relieve these symptoms completely; the âpillâ is causing the disease and quite apart from that it also happens to be the No. 1 killer poison in a manâs or a womanâs quest for love and relationships.
You may find it easier to understand the effect when related to a non-PMOer or a successful PMOer who has quit for several years. Take the case of a PMOer who loses his partner. It is quite common at such times, with the best intentions, to say, âHave just one harem visit. It will help calm you down.â If the offer is accepted, it will not have a calming effect because the man is not addicted to dopamine and there are no withdrawal pangs to relieve. At best all it will do is to give him a momentary psychological boost.
Even after the âdeedâ is over, the original tragedy is still there. In fact, it will be increased because the person is now suffering withdrawal pangs and his choice is now either to endure them or to relieve them by repeating the âporn water slideâ rides and start the chain of misery. All the porn will have done is to give a momentary psychological boost. The same effect could have been achieved by reading a book or watching a feel-good movie, even a bad one at that. Many non-PMOers and ex-PMOers have become addicted to the porn as a result of such occasions. It is essential to counter the brainwashing right from the start. Get it quite clear in your head: you don't need the dopamine rush and you are only torturing yourself by continuing to regard it as some sort of prop or boost. There is no need to be miserable.
Orgasms do not make good relations; they at most times ruin them. Remember too that it is not entirely true at all times the men and women who show public display of intimacy are enjoying it at all times. Intimacy is best enjoyed in private where both partners can respond without embarrassments. You donât have to be an orgasm induced dopamine addict. If it happens as a natural result of a series of life events, fine- if not No Big Deal. You enjoy the occasion and life without it.
Abandon the concept of the PMOing habit as pleasurable in itself, Many PMOers think, âIf only there was clean internet porn.â There is clean soft porn. Any PMOer who tries it soon finds out it is a waste of time. Get it clear in your mind that the only reason you have been PMOing is to get the dopamine flush. Once you have got rid of the craving for PMO you will have no more need to visit your online harem.
Whether the pangs are due to actual withdrawal symptoms (the empty feeling) or a trigger/cue mechanism, accept it. The physical pain is non-existent and with the right frame of mind it will not be a problem. Do not worry about withdrawal. The feeling itself isn't bad. It is the association with wanting and then feeling denied that is the problem. Instead of moping about it, say to yourself, âI know what it is. It's the withdrawal pang from PMO. That's what PMOers suffer all their lives and that's what keeps them PMOing. Non-PMOers do not suffer these pangs. It is another of the many evils of this lying habit. Isn't it marvellous I am purging this evil from my brain?â
In other words, for the next three weeks you will have a slight trauma inside your body but during those weeks and for the rest of your life something marvellous will be happening. You will be ridding yourself of an awful disease. That bonus will more than outweigh the slight trauma and you will actually enjoy the withdrawal pangs. They will become moments of pleasure. Think of the whole business of stopping as an exciting game. Think of the porn monster as a sort of tape worm inside your stomach. You have got to starve him for three weeks and he is going to try to trick you into getting to bed to keep him alive.
At times he will try to make you miserable. At times you will be off guard. You will receive a porn URL and you may forgot that you have stopped. There is a slight feeling of deprivation when you remember. Be prepared for these traps in advance. Whatever the temptation, get it into your mind that it is only there because of the monster inside your body and every time you resist the temptation you have dealt another mortal blow in the battle.
Whatever you do, don't try to forget about PMO. This is one of the things that causes PMOers using the Willpower Method hours of depression. They try to get through each day hoping that eventually they'll just forget about it. It is like not being able to sleep. The more you worry about it, the harder it becomes. In any event you won't be able to forget about it. For the first few days the âlittle monsterâ will keep reminding you and you won't be able to avoid it; while there are still laptops, smartphones and magazines etc. about, you will have constant reminders.
The point is you have no need to forget. Nothing bad is happening. Something marvellous is taking place. Even if you are thinking about it a thousand times a day, SAVOR EACH MOMENT. REMIND YOURSELF HOW MARVELOUS IT IS TO BE FREE AGAIN. REMIND YOURSELF OF THE SHEER JOY OF NOT HAVING TO TORTURE YOURSELF ANYMORE. As I have said, you will find that the pangs become moments of pleasure, and you will be surprised how quickly you will then forget about internet porn.
Whatever you do DO NOT DOUBT YOUR DECISION. Once you start to doubt, you will start to mope and it will get worse. Instead use the moment as a boost. CONVERT MOPE TO BOOST. If the cause is depression then remind yourself that's what the internet porn and PMO were doing to you. If you are forwarded a URL by a friend, take pride in saying, âI'm happy to say I do not need them any more.â That will hurt him but when he sees that it isn't bothering you he will be halfway to joining you.
Remember that you had very powerful reasons for stopping in the first place. Remind yourself of the costs and ask yourself whether you really want to risk too much of those fearful âmalfunctionsâ of your âequipageâ which is not the greatest loss if you ask me - but the most important loss of mental happiness and well being - of not living under a âspellâ. This is called âreferentingâ or spotting of the minimizing efforts of the monster about the hazards. Above all, remember that the feeling is only temporary and each moment is a moment nearer to your goal.
Some PMOers fear that they will have to spend the rest of their lives reversing the 'automatic triggers'. In other words, they believe that they will have to go through life kidding themselves that they don't really need PMO by the use of psychology. This is not so. Remember that the optimist sees the bottle as half full and the pessimist sees it as half empty. In the case of PMO, the bottle is empty and the PMOer sees it as full. There are just no advantages with internet porn and PMO. It is the PMOer who has been brainwashed. Once you start telling yourself that you don't need to orgasm using PMO, in a very short time you won't even need to say it because the beautiful truth is... you do not need to PMO. It's the last thing you need to do; make sure it's not the last thing you do.
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