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NERDS: A Manifesto — A Capella Science

I got a lyrical proclivity

Special like relativity

General knack of physics

Incredible rap ability

Feeling me?

Don’t tell me these glasses lack in virility

I’m physically intimate yo

Cause physics is into me

The cold open

Nerds from CERN to Hoboken

The soft spoken

When talking openly

Gets your nose broken

It’s no joke and

I’m not hoping to make light

Just throwing a rope

If you got no hope

To hang tight

Dang right

I know what high school life is like

Can’t fight

When every bully is twice your height

Turning the pages fascinated, up late nights

By day worried cause other girlies don’t think your weight’s right

But stay bright little nerdling

Cause when the hard part’s done you got the world on a string

Leaving home as a hobbit you’ll return as a king

Cause modern life is brain boxing and you’re lord of the ring

It goes

Nerds!

Our name since junior high

But now we’re Doctor Last Name saving juniors’ lives

It goes

Nerds!

We got pushed at the front of the class

But now we running banks pushing fat stacks of cash

It goes

Nerds!

Ears burnin but we never let it catch fire

Stayed calm built a dot com empire

Nerds!

So keep your pride with your face in the dirt

Cause it’s no secret that the geek shall inherit the earth

I’m repping nerd rights

Because we’re hotter than thermite

Sharper that any pencil

At the start of the term

Might I suggest

That next to any text a nerd writes

That Hollywood gossip-whoring

Is boring like a termite

Cause we’re the greats

From Shakespeare to Cape Fear

Oscar nom, dot com, bubbles in your great beer

Engineers need a mention here

For turning tension and stress

Into a professional career

Yeah we’ve learned to be relentless

So whether you’re a chemist

Inventor of medicines

Or a dental hygienist

Apprentice in theoretical dietetics of lettuce

Just get up and represent

You know the world has got a nerd fetish

So all my geeks in the closet living secretly

I see you sneaking nature docs on the BBC

No time to hide, take pride in our legacy

Cause it’s a brand new world, 51 Pegasi

Nerds!

You say we’re lame, are you kidding me?

We run your day from your games to your Twitter feed

Nerds!

You think great techs can’t have great sex?

We study Wikipedia pages and type in LaTeX

Nerds!

Kept you blind, under cover like a peregrine

Sly enough to leave you Hufflepuffin’ while we Slytherin

Nerds!

I never got to be fly as a kid

But my vocabulary gave me sick rhymes to spit

See

Nerds!

I studied science

Grew up to be a rhyme sayer

No Minnesota connection, one of a kind

Say you’re pumping iron?

I’m pumping ions through this bilayer

You can’t abide this myelin if you try, player

Mind greater than a giant Ghana land snail

Sign "theta" when I’m answering my fan mail

Rhymes get under your skin just like a hang nail

Wits make you dizzy better hold on to the handrail

I know my limits

So don’t you try to limit me

Won’t be derivative

Spitting back what you’re giving me

What matters is understanding patterns and symmetry

So I’ll be integrating your factual data lyrically

OMG so OP these NERDs

Got the ATP to defeat all you NPCs

LCD to your CRT

TNG to your TMZ

ICBM to your TNT

Cause we’re explosive like caesium

Bright like burning magnesium

Swallow you like amoebas

Enveloping paramecium

Fighters right in our element

Like a knight in Elysium

We bridle the elements

Hell we make it look easy hon

You think it looks easy? Umm

Well how bout we face off?

Ignoring laboratory procedure?

You’ll blow your face off

So keep your He-Man stats in your grey skull

Cause grey matter is power

That’s the power of Grayskull

Nerds!

They called us ADHD, made us take pills

Now we’re rippin 88 keys, rocking great skills

Nerds!

If you ever took band or theatre

Take a bow to the haters

And say “Calc-u-later!”

Nerd!

You don’t appreciate this high tone

Tell me again how you would die without your iPhone

Nerd!

Music, science and art, the trifecta

Kneel before the mighty pocket protector

Check out this XP

Heart stopper better cardiac arrest me