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2021-09-11

Re: Work, Life, and Love

tags: life

tetris is pondering why he finds himself in arguments with his SO:

But, her passions and her profession have no overlap.

gemini://midnight.pub/posts/645

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Dear tetris,

your description is vivid. And yes, I can see that your profession and your passion overlap quite a bit. And yet it is no surprise to me, that your SO is requesting some premium attention time.

You ask for thoughts.

About Work and Passion

My profession and my passions do overlap to some extent, too. But:

In other words I keep work and passion separate to some extent. At work I am preparing Linux operating systems including all the bells and whistles to support the application. At home I'm programming microcontrollers, use the solder iron and the logic analyser.

About commuting

While I have quite some time to tap away on a computing device during commute, I don't often do this. I prefer to stare out the window and let my mind wander. For me this is very important. I am convinced that being productive all the time is unhealthy and even somewhat of an illusion. My mind requires "free time" to stay sane. And I am not keen to experience what John Brunner calls "sensory overloading syndrome[a]". I cannot imagine watching TV and typing away at all --- but I disgress.

About attention

I cannot do two things simultaneously, which both require my full attention. And I conclude, noone else can (which might be wrong occassionally). And therefore I demand full attention from people around me, while we chat. It drives me mad and quickly away, if I am just one of several simultaneous conversations --- the others of which I do not see/hear (think smartphone messages). I think your SO is demanding some time of whole hearted attention.

I am married for more than 20 years. My wife works in programming, too, but she does /very/ different things. We can chat about programming related stuff for a bit. And sometimes we do. But premium attention time involves other things:

So. I think, what I am trying to get across is this: Spending some time in full attention mode may change things in unimaginable ways.

Good luck!

~ew

[a] John Brunner, The Shockwave Rider, "Reizüberflutungssyndrom" in the German translation

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