💾 Archived View for corvidae.smol.pub › fifth captured on 2024-03-21 at 14:48:22. Gemini links have been rewritten to link to archived content
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didn't really have anything of note to say yesterday or today... still don't, really! it's technically been two days since i've written anything, since it's the 14th now, but it's only 1am so to me it's still kind of the 13th :p
so... i guess i've been still fixated on mario's madness? have i even talked about that? can't remember. well, it's a friday night funkin' mod. being a big nintendo fan, i adore this mod. so much care, passion, and detail went into every single aspect of the mod! i especially love the art, visuals, and music. i keep tracking down everyone who's played this mod because i want to see how many people understand certain references, even obscure ones like the australian nintendo commercial!
so... usually with friday night funkin mods, my dissociation reacts quite a lot to it. all these mods means new presentations of ideas and stories with familiar characters. it's basically fanfiction in a playable form! and since i get really attached to media... i have quite a bit of alters who either are introjects of certain characters, or who take a lot of inspiration from certain characters. back then, i had a TON of these guys. a ton of alters who were based on certain characters in one way or another. these days, they aren't around as much save for a select few, but... i swear, whenever i take a peak into the modding community for this game again, certain neurons get activated
it's been interesting over the years watching my growth and healing journey. a few years ago, i would have gotten tons of alters based on nearly every character from this mod that appealed to me even in the slightest... i don't think that's the case this time. right now, i only see this one mario. he's based on devil mario, the one from the flash animation "power star"... the edgy one with the blade, lmao. of course that one would appeal to a part of my mind the most. right now he's been silent, not really answering much of my questions besides a simple stare or a nod of sorts. he's still here. does he even go by he/him? i can't tell if he likes them or not... i can't tell how he feels at all. i'd need to discuss with him further about who he is
one may argue that it doesn't matter. a lot of our alters tend to fade into obscurity after just a few days, only coming back on rare occasions. it's not that they aren't real, it's just how we work, at least right now. we figured that out years ago. it's still tough justifying even using up my time or energy to these new alters... but i still want to. i think they deserve to feel welcome. i think it's why even very rare alters tend to show face at some point in time again and again. they know it's safe. i want everyone to know we're safe to talk to each other and work together as a team
i want to get to know this new one a little better. i think it's the least i should do... should i talk about this so openly? well... part of me doesn't see why not. i don't think a lot of people who use this platform know me. so how would they ever take advantage of this knowledge to hurt me when anything said from anyone outside those i actually know doesn't matter to me? so i think i'll be okay. this method of journalling feels nice, anyway. i like the "posting" thing. i like how simple it is to use. it's nice, refreshing. i'm gonna stop here, see you later! :)
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