💾 Archived View for bbs.geminispace.org › u › Morgan › 4530 captured on 2024-02-05 at 14:28:12. Gemini links have been rewritten to link to archived content
⬅️ Previous capture (2023-12-28)
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@betabube Online communication doesn't work if you assume bad intent; you assumed that "liking" your posts was an aggressive action ... and you assumed that parts of the "do I need a capsule post" were about you that were not. a459 has been posting for months and I enjoy reading what he writes, I got the references. They were not aimed at you.
It's not helpful to call anything here "wrong" when it was primarily a misunderstanding.
So while I'm on the side of peace, community and politeness ... I think you are not being mistreated. Which is great. I hope you can enjoy reading/writing here. And feel better about this whole thing :)
2023-08-19 · 6 months ago
🚀 skyjake [...] · Aug 19 at 10:42:
@Morgan Online communication can be tricky. You can't always assume good intent either, or the actual "bad" actors can manipulate you at will. Lacking clues other than words on a screen, the intent is always open for interpretation. For example, exhaustively thanking all of one's posts could easily be taken as passive aggression, even if it was simply meant as a "read receipt" notification.
🍵 michaelnordmeyer · Aug 19 at 11:37:
@skyjake Importing feeds from other places in the Geminispace, even if users have to opt-in to import their own feed, would create an instance with overwhelming gravity. A very centralized place.
I don't think this will help the smolnet approach.
@skyjake For sure! It's fascinating to me how badly online communication works sometimes, even when people have a lot of practice at it.
On the other hand it's not super surprising: we're "meant" to talk face to face, when it's much easier to tell if someone is friendly.
The presence of people actively trying to hide what they're doing and annoy people--trolls--is also something we don't have to put up with a lot in everyday life. They'd get punched too quickly :)
Liking and thanking my last 4 posts is considered to be trolling and has definitely a bad intent.
@betabube
I am 100% sure there was no bad intent.
I think you may have muted a459, if so you missed his apology, attempt to find you and apologize, and welcome back.
All good...
🚀 skyjake [...] · Aug 19 at 16:32:
@michaelnordmeyer The context for the feed importing is this:
Perhaps better to discuss in that other thread about the pros and cons.
🐉 gyaradong · Aug 20 at 03:59:
I think in a vacuum, it's hard to assume good or bad intent. But we're not in a vacuum. We know a significant amount about each others personalities. We don't (yet) have to act in bulk, and the admin action is an example of this.
I've been cursed and requested to stop posting by users who obviously misunderstood the nature of free speech the culture and the actual content of my messages. Sometimes it's hard for people to see posts as not hostile, being conditioned by toxic interactions.
🐉 gyaradong · Aug 21 at 07:19:
It's hard to see hurt. Bullies often weaponise that and use words to gaslight people. Those same words have a traumatizing effect when uttered in good faith. The big web inflicts this trauma at scale. We need to be resilient but we need to see hurt and pull back as well. We can put an argument aside for another day because we are still going be on the smol web tomorrow.
a459 posted a farewell but has now, as far as I can tell, deleted everything :(
For the record the farewell was not in any way negative or aimed at anyone, he just said he's going to try something else. He mentioned a recent Gemini post about living offline, so it might be that means not posting anywhere, if so I'll miss the unique color he brought to Gemini.
There was a "thank you" to @skyjake in there too, in case you didn't see it.
🚀 skyjake [...] · Aug 22 at 14:20:
Well, he did mention possibly deleting the account a number of times as part of the effort to stay anonymous.
Given the unique non-PC rambling writing style there is no way for him to stay anonymous
Yes, it's quite distinctive :)
🐉 gyaradong · Aug 23 at 09:21:
I never really thought about it but staying anonymous in a small community is pretty hard. I basically recognised their writing style.
Housekeeping — I have decided to omit the prolific @a459 from the All Posts feed. The reason is simply that the front page is meant to display content from all corners of BBS, not just from one poster. If you are a fan of their writing, you are welcome to follow the user feed here on BBS, as a Gemfeed, or an Atom feed: /u/a459 A system-wide flag is a bit of a blunt instrument but presently I don't have time to work on a more sophisticated throttling mechanism to level the playing field.