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< Mental Paralysis

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~owleyarc

I wasn't sure from the original post, but based on this I can safely say: I've been in this exact same position. Specifically in my last year of school in 2019-2020.

Ultimately what spurred me out of it was two things, first, obviously was COVID hitting, so I felt lucky to have any job at all. Second was my boyfriend's (now husband's) career choice of being a starving artist; I wanted to support him as best as I could.

So here I am almost three years later, working a job that I don't especially enjoy for a big-tech company I hate. My routine is work maybe 6 out of the 8 hours I'm supposed to and generally just be checked out. The pay is good and it's not too taxing. Though I do think it has really harmed my enjoyment of computers, since I know I need to go through some corporate bullshit to open source any hobby projects, which makes me not even want to write them.

All in all, I think I'd make the same decisions over again, but I'm always keeping an eye on the exit door, looking for a slightly less awful way to exist. But ya know, the problem is capitalism and we'll probably be facing it until global warming gets us all.

Anyway, idk, if there's anything you want to talk/ask about in a less public forum, my email is on my pub profile, feel free to drop a line. And good luck, with whichever way you go. (And hey, if you find a way to do a tech job that doesn't suck, I'd love to know)

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