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Last post for reference if you care
Last post I wrote about longing for something inherent in life, something to guide me. I have since come to the conclusion that that was wrong. The ideas here are not completely developed, but I feel like what is actually gnawing inside is a longing for freedom, and a will to do what I want, when I want. Last summer I was interrailing throughout Europe alone, and I have never really felt such freedom. I was alone to do exactly what I wanted, when I wanted. There was no one to tell me what to do, and no one for me to have to compromise with. This feeling was about as content I've ever felt. If anything, it is this kind of freedom I long for, which I can not have in the army.
I feel like I've become a master at self-pity, but this is my space on the internet, and I really should care less about what others think of my writings.