💾 Archived View for spam.works › mirrors › textfiles › computers › honey.txt captured on 2024-02-05 at 11:26:12.
⬅️ Previous capture (2023-06-14)
-=-=-=-=-=-=-
HONEY, CAN OUR COMPUTER DO THIS?"
By:
WAYNE GARRISON
(MDC-RCC STL.99ers)
I'll never forget the day my wife asked me this question,
for that was the day when all my troubles
began. My loving wife had heard me talking about the computers I
work with and decided she would buy me my
very own. We were both excited about it on Christmas morning
when I unwrapped it and took it from the box.
Her excitement began to diminish after I had set it up and slowly
became familiar with it. The excitement
level hit bottom when she discovered that there was a lot more to
these things than just turning them on and
watching them go. Eventually I was able to build a nice computer
system starting with what she had bought me
and ending when I had all the peripherals and gadgets I needed.
She was careful when picking out a desk, to be
certain it would match the furniture in the living room, which was
where she had a nice spot picked out for me
to do my computing. A few years went by and she decided she
didn't want me in there anymore, so she moved my
desk into the guest bedroom.
I wasn't quite as happy in the guest bedroom at first,
but soon I realized it was working out ok. If
I had some important computing to do, the television among other
things wouldn't bother me anymore. All I had
to do is just close the door. This bedroom was still a guest
bedroom complete with a full-sized bed to
accomodate her parents when they come to visit, so it was a
little crowded. After a while she began calling it
"your Computer Room". There was barely enough room to turn
around in there and my wishes to get a bookcase for
my computer manuals was out of the question. There just wasn't
room enough there for it. I offered to carry the
bed down to the basement and make a little room. She promptly
asked where her parents would sleep. My answer
swiftly earned me a knot on the head.
One day she approached me with some papers which she had
brought home form the office. They had all
kinds of fancy printing on them and she said it was done on their
computer at work. "Honey, can our computer
do this?", she asked. I was quick to say, "Of course it will."
She then began asking me about a few other
things such as graphics. She was quick to point out that the
computer at work was so easy to use. I tried to
explain that our computer wasn't hard to operate but as it turned
out, their's at work was set up to be fool
proof and would boot up and load the software by simply turning
on the switch. Well after I had convinced her
of our computer's capabilities, she asked me to start it up for
her and show her how to do it. Altough it
didn't start up as easy as the work computer, she realized that
she could do some of her work at home. Well,
it wasn't long before I was competing with her to use my own
computer. I decided it would be a good idea to
get her her own computer asd set it up to be as easy to operate
as the one at her office. Now, she was doing
some of her work at home, so this meant that she would need a
nice desk to work at. Well as mentioned before,
the room was a little crowded.
Because the room was so crowded, now I sit at my very own
computer, at my very own desk, in my very
own corner of the basement. It's a little cold down here, but I
guess that's good. I won't have to worry
about my computer overheating. So take it from me, if your wife
should ask you, "Can our computer do this?",
tell her anything but the truth.
Happy Computing!