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Merry Christmas, and I can relate. Second year away from my (admittedly broken) family, surrounded by my in-laws and everything just feels a bit off. I'm not unhappy, its just I'm used to reminiscing with my siblings and watching crap in my.native cheeky slang -- whereas here they were reminiscing and watching crap in their native cheeky slang, and I just felt a bit left out.
Still, I am well fed and well drunk, so it can't be that bad.
Can relate to things not quite being the same as they were. Not in a super bad way, but it's definitely bittersweet. Like, I never bonded with my family or extended family super well, but at least I was young enough to occupy myself with whatever plastic I chose from an Argos catalogue, and felt like I at least belonged in that space in spite of my quietness.
This year, nan's across the ocean celebrating Christmas with her other children (we've been hogging her so it's totally fair), and my friends + partner have stronger bonds with their families this Christmas. So, like you said, I'm not unhappy, and this isn't even unusual anymore, but I miss when the emotions around the holidays were less complicated lol
Got some super nice strawberry gin though this year, so cheers to that.