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Trauma narrative

Content warning: drugging, rape

August 11, 2022

So I was roofied by my (now former) coworker the other night. The worst part was that he had a mullet. No ā€“ maybe itā€™s worse that he plans to work at an elementary school, or that heā€™ll probably get away with all this, or that heā€™ll probably do it again, or that, god save his soul, he is a ginger with a mullet.

He spiked my water, which is ironic because weā€™re baristas. I didnā€™t think a coworker Iā€™d just worked with all week would go ahead and ruin our relationship and his job like that (especially when heā€™s about to be evicted), but I guess in a world where mullets are coming back into fashion, nothing is sacred.

As far as rapes go it was probably a 3/5 on the WTF scale. Could have been way worse, but still kinda uncomfy to be drugged into a stupor and feel my brain shutting down while being held hostage in an unfamiliar house. I never fully passed out, so he (and his friend, another nice and nerdy-seeming fellow but a monster nonetheless) didnā€™t get away with much. After his unanswered pleas to have me ā€œcuddleā€ and ā€œhugā€ and ā€œlay down togetherā€ (a ploy to get my dazed self to pass completely out), I somehow miraculously sobered up and secured a ride home from my lovely friend Mr. Spock, who, I assure you, is extremely horrified by how illogical all of this is, and is doing everything in his power to help me.

Iā€™m safe. My loved ones have been supportive. Thereā€™s been a bit of thousand-yard-staring and some nightmares, and thereā€™s probably going to be more of that. Having to cover his shift (he quit) was annoying, and now weā€™re short-staffed at the cafĆ©, but, whatever ā€“ Iā€™m just grateful my managers were on my side.

I know the world doesnā€™t really believe people who say theyā€™re raped; itā€™s not my first rodeo. But to the world, Iā€™ll say that if I got a box of chocolates and a ā€œWow, youā€™re so strong and beautifulā€ every time I told someone I was raped, Iā€™d want it tattooed on my forehead.

Anyway, Iā€™m not ashamed of the rape because itā€™s not my fault. Iā€™m not ashamed that I was drugged because people shouldnā€™t drug me. Iā€™m not ashamed that I wasnā€™t thinking straight because rohypnol makes you feel like youā€™ve barely got one braincell and thatā€™s why rapists use it. Someone elseā€™s criminal behavior doesnā€™t define me.

I never asked for any of this at all; it makes absolutely no sense. Itā€™s an unfunny situation, but I want to laugh about it anyway. This is probably not the healthiest coping mechanism, but itā€™s what I have right now and itā€™s free. Iā€™ll grow out of it.

Just waiting for the day that our culture will finally grow out of mullets.

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