💾 Archived View for signals.pollux.casa › blips › 2021-03-25-Mother.gmi captured on 2024-02-05 at 09:36:10. Gemini links have been rewritten to link to archived content

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Mother

I hold you in my arms, rubbing your back, trying to bring you back as you hold yourself guarded and frozen. You slowly melt into my arms.

"I'm okay," you finally whisper to me, but I know like myself you are straining. I feel it in your gritted teeth and clench fists. I feel it when I meet the gaze of my brother and sister who know they have nothing left for you. I feel it in your silence. The same silence that instructed me so long ago, in burning my poems, in chastising my tears, in turning me away from you.

Yet in this moment you are left with no one but a forsaken child who neither forgives you nor those who did this to you.

"There is so much I want to say that I cannot."

"I know."

Mother, I will never be a mother like you. I will never know motherhood like you. I will never be a part of the motherland like you. I know that path was not all that was decided by your own discourse. Even if you fear it, I, like you, cannot leave the past behind like the others. When I watch you empty your head before you scream, I recollect who I see in the mirror.

"How could you know?"

"How could I hold you if I did not?"

Do you think the motherland would taste our tears now?