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Renewing a focus and commitment with physical movement.
For the past years I've had several cycles of disenchantment with computers. Although nice things have come out of them, like Compudanzas, they have also represented a source of anxiety: it seems I have internalized that my way of contributing to the world, society and a solarpunk present and future *has* to be through computers. This thought has been reinforced by a way of looking to my own history, as I've been "always around computers", "always excelling at mathematical and logical thinking". "This is what I'm good at, this is where I can be most helpful". The disenchantment leaves me floating in the void.
These past few days I arrived to an interesting revelation, a reframing of this personal history. Yes, the computers always there are true, but it's also true that I've been *always moving*. Be it in triathlon, skating, cycling, running, parkour, dancing (and running and cycling and compudanzas and running :), I can look at my life and see that physical movement has been always there. Some days ago I talked with some people of my elementary school that I had lost contact with and I noticed that for them it would be pretty consistent to hear that I'm doing a PhD in Computer Science and Technology, and that I'm preparing for a running race. Everything has changed, but also nothing has changed.
I realized that yes, I might have been able to e.g. help and teach people how to program because I have more experience compared to them. But in a similar way, I could guide or share with other people towards and through physical movement. I have a lot of experience, even if I'm not a "pro". (I've never held a position of "professional programmer", and yet I could be there for others).
I see moving in community as something important. We can learn a lot about ourselves and the world. Additionally, moving and having fun is something I want for a solarpunk present and future. I can reframe movement as my focus.
Something interesting is that I think the new frame is "backwards compatible" with what I'm doing already. The movement-based core of my PhD and what I'm and will be doing there is a possible way to *move with others*. Another possible way comes from the embodied activities / games / dances from Compudanzas. And as a note to self, there are multiple other ways as well, and I don't need to "coat" them with computation so that I feel they are valid when coming from me. I have done it already, I'm not sure what got me blocked.
I'm happy to have arrived at this perspective, and I'm happy to share it. I'm feeling very good and excited now :)
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