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First and foremost: I'm only looking at these two protocols here. XMPP is awesome, and I used to use it, but it's not what I use now. And yes I know there are protocol issues with Matrix. This post is just my own experience, so settle down 😅
So I used to be on Discord. A lot. I had my own server that had a good number of members, which was mainly based around my Doom projects, but not exclusively. I also was a moderator in a handful of other servers, and generally spent most of my day with a Discord window open nearby. The servers I was on were where I socialized, streamed videos of me playing games, posted updates on my Doom/Quake/Programming projects, and shared music. It was fun.
But of course I never really liked that Discord was a proprietary piece of software, and when the whole crypto thing happened on the net, it was enough for me to permanently leave Discord. After a bunch of testing, I eventually chose the Matrix protocol as my new home since not only could I mostly replicate the layout and feel of my Discord server in it, but it was also federated. I could run my own open-source Matrix homeserver myself, on my own machine. It was exactly what I wanted. So, after some planning and building, I eventually moved my Discord server to Matrix. The process wasn't pretty since I lost most of my members, but I was still happy that the important ones stayed with me - something I'm forever grateful for. And since then, I've added a few new members that I consider important core people, so I still think of it as a success.
I recommended the Element client for everyone who moved since it was similar enough to Discord to not be too confusing, and it was open source. There's been a few other clients that I've used as well, like Nheko and Cinny, and while they're fun and very promising, they just seem a bit too... undercooked, I guess? Element has its quirks and flaws, for sure, but it at least feels mostly polished, especially today. In fact that's probably why it's frozen and only receiving bug fixes/security updates at this point. I'm hoping work on its successor, Element X, goes quickly and smoothly.
I did sign up for Discord again recently, however. It's just to talk to one person, and they're important enough to me that I don't mind signing up again... but WOW the experience of using the Discord client again is PAINFUL. AS. FUCK. Like when I moved to Matrix and Element, I definitely lost some features that I liked: custom emoji (though Nheko and Cinny support them), easy streaming in a room, and... well actually I think that's all. I'm sure there's other differences, but as far as the features of Discord I used, all I lost were custom emoji and streaming in a room. That's it as far as things I used. But going from Element/Matrix back to Discord somehow feels much worse, like I'm going from something with rough edges but super useful, down to something shiny but lacking.
Basically, I am missing a LOT of things I've gotten used to. I'm missing a bunch of Element commands like /rainbow and /lenny and /tableflip and /unflip and such. I'm missing small touches that aren't important, but just nice, like the /snowfall or /rainfall commands. Or how confetti rains down when I post a 🎊 emoji. I lose location sharing, voice uploads (I think, anyway), polls (I think), the /myroomnick and /myroomavatar commands to have a per-room nickname and avatar, and widgets. Then on a more general level, I'm missing multiple core Matrix features and behavior. I'm also missing the fact that I can tweak my homeserver. Upload size too small? Pfft, let me change that for you... there, upload 200mb files if you want. Upload 60fps videos, no problem. Want to organize your rooms in a different way? Create your own space and add already-existing rooms to it. Want to chat with people on other protocols? Matrix loves bridging protocols. End-to-end encryption? Totally supported by multiple clients.
All of this without "Nitro", which is just another annoyance. The constant pushing of monetized things in Discord just feels icky to me anymore.
So I guess in the end I've discovered that I (somehow) like Element much better than the Discord client, even without the feature parity. I can even still do streaming, I just use PeerTube or Jitsi.
I'll still stay on Discord to chat with my friend, and I'll keep my spare Discord account around for the rare occasion I do need it. But overall, I'm actually happy I'm on Matrix now. I'm glad I made the decision to move to it. It's not for everyone, and it absolutely has its flaws (lol that API documentation), but I'm happy with it.
I do have a bridging mechanism set up on my homeserver so I can use Matrix to connect to multiple other protocols. I'm already using it successfully for IRC, and I'm thinking I may bridge a few Discord rooms that I miss chatting in. I'll have to get in touch with my old Discord buddies to see if they're interested. All it'll take is me registering a new Discord bot, putting it in the rooms to bridge, then configuring my bridge to use it.
I also still have Monika, my old Discord bot, up and running since other servers still use her features, but I'm not sure how much longer I want to keep her up. The protocol differences, surprisingly, mean that she takes up much more RAM (102MB) than the equivalent Matrix bot I wrote (29MB). I also have no access to my previous account that signed Monika up as a bot, which I don't feel good about. But at least she's stable for now.
But overall, I don't see myself ever going back. Discord felt corporate: shiny but wanting money. Matrix feels like the wild west, rough but with a bunch of adventure. It feels exciting.
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