💾 Archived View for gemini.dimakrasner.com › re-on-being-short.gmi captured on 2024-02-05 at 09:33:42. Gemini links have been rewritten to link to archived content
⬅️ Previous capture (2023-07-22)
-=-=-=-=-=-=-
gemini://gemini.ctrl-c.club/~stack/gemlog/2023-07-04.short.gmi
I'm a really short guy, almost 5' 2", and here are some things I can share with those interested in short people stories.
It doesn't bother me anymore, but I remember how the other kids laughed at me. I was short, with a big head, an unproportionally tall forehead, and a Russian name. Sometimes they laughed at me, sometimes they hit me, and sometimes they made feel like I don't exist. I still remember how it feels when every day is the same, there's nothing you can do about this, and you're always a victim.
Two days ago, a random guy saw me on the street on my way back from the fruit store. He started yelling something offensive and inappropriate about my forehead, and kept trying one joke after another when I crossed to the other side of the street without saying anything. When I lost my temper (something I'm really ashamed for) and asked if he always insults strangers like that, he started chasing me (a true multi-tasker) and I had to convince him to go away, while planning how to defend myself using a watermelon if he pulls out a knife.
However, these so-called battle scars made me tougher and a better judge of human character. I also developed my inner world and learned how to learn things on my own: isolation and weakness became independence and toughness. I'm still bad at trusting people, but I'm better at identifying the from a distance.
People always think you're much younger when you're short. Several weeks ago, a woman on the bus asked, "hey, kid, can you step aside please?", and she jumped and blushed when she saw the beard. But most of the time, people are nice and say I look great for my age. This confusion about my age is also good for my career, because I blend with young people and ageism is a real problem here. In addition, my height makes me stand out when employers have options to choose from, and many people I've worked with consider me to be a "star": I believe my height deserves some credit.
Sometimes it's no fun, when people don't take short people seriously. I don't know if such people simply ignore the complaints and opinions of people they preceive as young or immature, but this definitely happens. Sometimes, doctors think you can't have chronic disease and rush to the next patient, just because you look younger, and they have elderly patients waiting.
It's much harder to find a partner when you're a short man. Many women preceive height as a positive thing, and short men are either unattractive, or less attractive. Many short women prefer tall partners, while many men prefer short women that make them look bigger: it's rare to see a couple of short people, at least in my country. As as short man in this society, you must have some "added value" (like intelligence and loyalty) to compete successfully, and the competition is hard.
It took more time, but I'm very happy with the results. I first met my wife, who's slightly shorter than me, sounds like a teenager on the phone and looks half her age to strangers, when I was 25. We look even younger together, because we're a cute couple and people think we're just two students in love :)
I don't buy clothes often, and it's mostly about comfort and practicality for me. Good clothes are cheap, but good-looking clothes that fit well and don't "shorten" you are harder to find, because clothes for children are not exactly elegant or sexy. Plus, you have to browse the kids department without a child holding your hand, which looks suspicious or funny to other shoppers.
However, once you find those stores that produce the same shirt or jeans but in kid size, you get a variety of good clothes: clothes for kids are often made of durable, breathable and natural fabrics, they come in a larger variety of colors (not just black, white, gray and blue, like men's clothes), they have extra features (like adjustable waist), and sometimes they come in discounted packs of 3 or 5. I avoid clothes with logos, like the Next buttoned shirts (those described as shirts for 13 year olds from the UK) that don't have the "no logo" label, because Next seems to be popular amoung toddlers here and this logo is way too visible.
Accesssories like watches, sunglasses and belts can be problematic. Luckily, most sunglasses for adults work just fine with my big head, but sunglasses for kids look like sunglasses for kids. I must wear a hat at summer, and that completes the school kid look: I go to work in a bright t-shirt, with sandals, a hat, big sunglasses, a compact backpack and water bottle.
Unlike summer stuff, watches are a problem. I wear at watch since the age of 5 and go crazy when I don't have my watch on me, but my wrist is thin. I'm limited to small watches, 34mm or less in diameter: this rules out most watches for men, and pretty much all metal watches. The Casio MQ24-7B, a minimalist unisex watch, blends very well in my wedding photos. Nowadays, after over a decade with the MQ-24, I wear a LW-200-1BV: it's a black and gunmetal version of a watch Casio markets as a cheerful and sporty watch for women or children.
In general, Japanese products (especially products for children, but even for men) tend to work great with my small hands, but even if the products themselves are cheap, the shipping is super expensive and we don't really have Japanese goods here. Sometimes I use cheap Chinese products instead: I bought my adjustable fabric belt from AliExpress, use the same model for many years and it's my third.
Shoes (even vegan shoes) are not a big problem because there's a variety of unisex snickers and sandals here, which suits my taste, so I just go for women's size and something less colorful. I went for white Vans sneakers in our wedding, because the only elegant shoes I could find looked like cheap and shiny bar mitzvah shoes I won't have a use for later.
Ergonomics are a big problem for small people. My fingers are short, and many "ergonomic" products (keyboards are the best example) are huge and designed for much bigger people. Most office chairs and tables are 1-5cm too tall, so my feet are not flat on the floor and my knees hurt after a while. Health issues made me super sensitive to ergonomics and the last year was challenging: I still have some oversized equipment I haven't replaced.
Most business laptops, those with things employers look for (like 3y+ worldwide warranty) when you ask for a laptop other employees don't have, are too big for small hands or narrow tighs, and smaller laptops tend to be less reliable (the fan works harder, parts are soldered and fail together, etc') and less practical (no RJ-45, no HDMI, no legacy USB). I have to live with that, and carry USB-C adapters.
I'm a fan of fountain pens and many short pens, more suitable for my hands, are designed to be posted: the weight distribution is bad unless posted. A "pocket pen" is a "full-sized pen" for me. Many pens originally designed as "ladies" pens or pens for children work well for me, but they're NSFW. I take my bright blue Jinhao shark pen to the office anyway, because I must have a good pen for note taking, and this is the cheapest awesome pen I've found.
Yesterday, I visited the nearby gym for the first time since we moved here, and I'm not surprised to see that pretty much all equipment is oversized for me. I'm surprised that this kind of things still surprises me in my thirties.
As far as I understand, most people lose some height with age. I used to be shorter than my grandpa, but not anymore, and I hope my problems won't get much worse in the future.