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⬅️ Previous capture (2022-06-11)
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After my breakup with Syd I decided to try out dating apps. After all, it's not like I'm really meeting anyone my age in real life.
My friend suggested Hinge since I wasn't looking for hookups (that's sinful) and of the ones I've tried it is the most "relationship oriented". I spent that first day flying through profiles and writing long messages. I quickly reached the limit of likes and bought the 30$ membership, because surely if I cast a wide net I'll find someone faster right?
That was my mistake
These apps target desperate men like myself, they urge you to buy one more of their boosts so you can find the one. They know you're at a weak point, desperately yearning for the chance of even brief conversation so you don't feel alone for that brief moment. No amount of boosts, roses, super likes, or extends is going to fix that.
Despite knowing this from day 1, they got me and I quickly ended up buying Bumble's and Tinder's premiums as well. That's a whopping $90 a month for the folks at home. I eventually decided to just limit myself to one at a time and that seems to be working alright.
I only ended up buying those because I quickly ran out of people in my area on Hinge. I had half a dozen matches and almost all didn't get past 2 messages sent. Bumble was next since I really didn't want to get on Tinder. Of the 3, Bumble's app is the best and has the strongest profile customization, but is the most manipulative. After only getting 3 likes in the whole month with premium, I canceled and instantly got 8 likes, all hidden behind a premium paywall to see their accounts. I'm certain this is deliberately trying to have you buy it again because it has happened another time when I canceled the membership for good.
Then I arrived at the place I never could see myself being, Tinder. I'm still on it and actually it's not really much worse than the other apps. In fact the only date I went on so far was from a match on Tinder, though it didn't work out in the end.
That's actually what motivated me to write this, I'm finding myself slipping back into these apps after a 2 month long non-relationship with that girl. For the first time in months I'm back doom-scrolling through countless beautiful women, feeling any self-respect slowly leak out of my fingers with each swipe I make.
Each hopeful like is sent out into the void, rarely getting a response. Maybe I'm doing it wrong by trying to show an accurate description of myself. Maybe that's why I don't hear back after 3 days of small talk, because I am undesirable. But that just feels like I'm being over-dramatic. But the feelings still exist and I feel myself reaching for my wallet to buy more boosts again :/