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Star Wars was an Inside Job

Posted On: 05.22.2013

I like nitpicking movies that I like. I'm sure we all have little things and moments we notice. Why did person do Thing? Hey what about Other Thing? Everyone's coming to a wrong conclusion. It's like going 'waitaminute I never read the book explaining how Sauron is a stand-in for Satan and whatnot so it looks to me, if you took out the army of horribly deformed things it looks like a small marginalized but highly technologically innovative power is getting crushed by an alliance of Conservative nations lead by Elves whenever it tries expanding off the highly volcanic peninsula it's been confined to.'

Another good one is the continued back and forth over Deckerd's status in Blade Runner. 'Is he Human? If he isn't is it standard procedure to thaw a Blade Runner as needed, feed them a set of lies and kill them after the mission ended? If that's the case why did Gaf let them go?'

The one I'm going over asks 'Was Anakin Skywalker, AKA Darth Vader, actively trying to bring the Empire down? That question was inspired by something posted on youtube that parodies 'Loose Change'. Due to boredom, probably having a little too much time on my hands, and actually considering the idea myself I figured why not write an 'in-universe' response to the theory, 'Death Star was an Inside Job' as found on BoingBoing.

Even though Grand-Moff Tarkin was nominally in command the general assumption is when the Empire's Second in Command shows up and issues orders they aren't questioned. As for the YT-1300. Officially they are freighters but after the thousands of recorded instances of these 'freighters' carrying military grade hardware far in excess of what a freighter is legally able to carry classing it as a 'fighter' would make sense.

Another brick pulled from the wall of lies. What better craft to get people you don't want anyone to know was there to and from clandestine meetings? Given these so-called 'military contractors'... aka Mercenaries and Smugglers tend to favor such heavily modified craft there's usually just enough plausible deniability. However when you have the ruler of one system as figurehead/general and then later ruler of the 'new republic' 'rescued' by the (unknown according to 'official' records) brother from said station commanded by a Father neither of them supposedly knew about... who was a decorated war hero and influential figure within the later disbanded insurrectionist organization known as the Jedi Order.

Things get to the point where even a nerf herder or moisture farmer can see how it all fits together in a coup by Anakin to overthrow the Empire as once the 'new republic' was established Luke Skywalker set about rebuilding the Jedi Order and conveniently had visions foretelling one of his descendants would rule over prosperity and peace ensuring the supremacy of the Skywalker bloodline.

I'm quite confident Anakin Skywalker's demise at the Death Star 2 was either faked so he could escape the obligatory military tribunal (after all nobody had seen his face after the Clone Wars and the excuse his suit could not be upgraded or new clone organs made is pure lunacy) or was a last minute change in plans in removing Emperor Palpatine from the picture and so throwing the Empire into a permanent downward spiral undoing the hard work toil tears and blood spent purging the old decedent republic of it's corrupt influences brought about by senatorial deals, profiteering, favoritism, cronyism, and all at the hands of the 'religious order' of Jedi 'advising'

...or rather ruling from the shadows over a theocracy that was briefly broken when the Galactic Empire was formed.

Motive. Means. Opportunity. The Death Star was only the beginning though. Vader was in charge of the Hoth Assault debacle that should have ended the Rebellion in one fell swoop. Instead nearly it's entire upper echelon flees to safety and Luke Skywalker is allowed to rendezvous with a shadow-contact from the supposedly purged Jedi order known as Yoda

The Only Jedi Master I Respected.

Whether this 'Yoda' was the Jedi Master of history or a code word to denote an organization working under the name of such an august luminary that preached acceptance in the face of the war-mongering of the likes from fellow Council-Member Mace Windu during the Trade Federation's aggression leading up to the Clone War is unknown. However after this point Luke Skywalker again met with his father on Bespin 'cloud city' (owned and maintained by a friend of the 'freighter' pilot Han Solo... who happened to reach the rank of General after the New Republic was Established

After this meeting the Rebel Alliance moved from supposedly being constantly on the run to planning an audacious assault against a nearly completed Death Star Mk. II, incapacitated the garrison maintaining the shield generators with the help of local aboriginals and facing not with small one man craft that had the plausible excuse of being able to slip through fleet oriented defenses but instead against the, albeit incomplete but still with a partially functional super-weapon, Death Star, and Anakin Skywalker's personal super star destroyer... which later made a suicide dive into the Death Star's superstructure after taking little visible damage in the fight.

The Facts are there people. You only have to open your eyes.