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The eternal pandemic

Since Germany's government just can't seem to get a grip on this pandemic, we have to slowly come to terms with it and deal with it on our own.

Contact restrictions

The best way we can halfway control this evil is through contact restrictions. Contact restrictions naturally don't affect me–as a self-confessed nerd–as much as they might affect somewhat more real life socially active beings. Even though, I still understand quite well why fewer and fewer people want to subject themselves to these restrictions. However, the pandemic will not simply go away, no matter how loudly people shout against it at rallies. Instead of government-imposed contact restrictions, which are becoming more and more relaxed in Germany due to pressure from corporate entities, we should simply impose them on ourselves. Self-imposed restrictions also make you feel much better right away! Following, a few tips on how to self-isolate like a bouse.

Tips and tricks

Instead of spending outrageous amounts of money on completely overpriced coffee in soulless hipster temples that cover the city centers nowadays, buy yourself a new computer! No laptop! This will only tempt you to leave money in hipster temples again. No, a nice computer with a big screen (maybe two big screens, depending on how much money was previously spent on hipster brew). With a new, really expensive computer, you can meet all your friends online. You now can spend hours together playing new multiplayer computer games. Of course, you can also drink home-made coffee while doing this.

If you've played enough computer games and want to take it easy, the new computer (especially that nice big screen) still comes in handy. Now you can spend hour after hour watching videos. Beginners take their first steps with Netflix, Amazon Prime, or Disney+. Advanced users turn to YouTube or (for those who can't get enough of computer games even during a break from gaming) to Twitch. If that's too commercial for you, you can also take a look at odysee! With Netflix and the like, you can enjoy wonderful contactless entertainment. With YouTube (or odysee), we then turn the page back to real life. All the channels about gardening, bread baking and woodworking make you want to get involved yourself.

https://odysee.com/

A few pots on the windowsill or a small patch behind the house, the oven in the kitchen or the dining table converted into a workbench-there are no limits! Now you can spend days with planting, watering, kneading, baking, sawing and hammering. All completely without any contact to other people! And the best part: You can wear the most worn out clothes that your closet has to offer. No one will see you! And in the process you will also save tons of money! You have no reason to spend your hard-earned money in any hipster clothing stores anymore that line the city centers nowadays.

And before you know it, you have spent several weeks happily in self-isolation. And now imagine that the majority of the population is doing the same. No computer will infect you with Corona, neither could your flower beds or your oven. In the meantime, perhaps vaccination is progressing even in countries ruled by the chaotic, the ignorant, and those who only lend their ears to the corporate entities. Maybe now you can meet your friends in real life again, serve them a meal from home-grown vegetables, with home-baked bread on a home-built dining table (the old dining table needed to be replaced after you misused it as a workbench for weeks).

The fine print

Please do not neglect your children, your dependents in need of care, your pets, or work commitments. This is only about organizing your free time with as little contact as possible. For obligations that require contact with others not living in your household, simply wear a mask. It doesn't hurt!