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15th August 2023 - Funeral Times ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Yesterday was spent at my Grandma's funeral. She died 2 or so weeks ago in a quiet manner after not really eating or drinking for the past 4 months. My Grandma had been suffering from vascular dementia for 6 or so years although managed to stay in her home thanks to carers until the last 5 months. The day I realised that the woman I loved had changed significantly was when she went grey. If she was well, she would never of not dyed her hair. I still have no idea what her natural hair colour was. I am not sure my mum knows really. My response to the call that she had died was very matter of fact and there was relief that she had stopped suffering. The last time I visited, she was just lying in bed in the dark. There was a response but she was not able to really concentrate. Luckily my brother was there and went into his work mode. He works as a pharmacist in care homes so is used to patients in her condition. Following that, there were tears but weird tears. Thankfully, my Grandma had sorted her funeral out. It was all paid for and her wishes written down. The ceremony was delightfully simple, quick yet touching. She wouldn't of wanted a fuss and was not religeous at all. The crematorium was actually a lovely place to be in. It was fairly modern with simple decoration and lots of light. The seats faced a window showing the local landscape. Suitably wild to help give the eyes somewhere to focus while fighting back tears. I am a soppy sod who struggles when I see people sad in an environment which drips with sadness. I was doing well until my uncle started talking and I was proud of him. Thankfully my brother was there too with his nearly 1 year old daughter. There was a fair bit of her taking the order of service from me and passing it to her mum and vis versa. There was even an occasional poking her dad in the eye with it as well. My neice did well and kept quiet until half way through. Sadly she wanted to make some noise and so my sister in law had to run off with her. At the end, you typically find the coffin is removed from the room. There are a couple of methods. The worst is when it decends down on a lift. Typically it is done with a curtain hiding while it rolls away. With my Grandma it stayed there so we all had to file past. I think if I was expecting it, it would be fine. But no, it was a surprise and that drove the tears to fall. Bleurgh. I am sure I could get a job as a professional wailer although I am probably not dramatic enough for that. The reception went well. Once again I used my neice as a great social awkwardness shield. She is a smiley chap who squeals with joy all the time. She still has no hair. Well there is some small bits of blonde hair appearing but it is hard to see and mostly at the back. There was plenty of talking to various relatives and it was a nice spread. Suitably beige as all such buffets should be. Token tomatos to make people feel healthier. Following the reception bit, the family decamped back to my Grandma's house. I got to spend more time with my neice of course. She is walking although mostly while holding on to a finger. She has taken steps without any support but she had decided that life is easier on all 4s. I will be seeing her again this coming weekend as my parents are celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary. Looking forward to seeing everyone in happier times! For professional wailing, please contact stug@sdf.org for the latest rates and availability. Will work for beer and suitably beige food.