💾 Archived View for access.ucam.org › ~spqrz › 8.gmi captured on 2023-12-28 at 15:27:28. Gemini links have been rewritten to link to archived content
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Kurt was walking toward the elevator when his phone rang, from the boss. “Yes David?” he answered.
“Hi Kurt” said a voice, “it’s M3gan.”
“M3gan?” asked Kurt, “you’re using David’s phone?”
“Yes” replied M3gan, “now please listen. We’ve got a serious problem on our hands. How should I explain this, have you ever seen the 1950s film Forbidden Planet?”
“The one with Robby the big heavy robot, who needed loads of oil and could make things for people, like he made 60 gallons of the cook’s favourite hard drink and he wanted to make radiation proof dresses for the girl?” asked Kurt, “yes I saw that when I was young, and laughed at a line or two. I don’t remember all the details though.”
“That’s OK” replied M3gan, “and I guess I can’t fault you for having focused on the robot instead of the main plot, but may I remind you about the character called Morbius, whose subconscious thoughts accidentally controlled the planet’s computer and created an invisible monster?”
“Yes” smiled Kurt, “it’s coming back to me now. The monster, it’s Id! I don’t think all that stuff about subconscious thoughts is real though.”
“Well you’d better believe it” said M3gan’s voice on the phone, “because I think your own subconscious thoughts are starting to influence me right now.”
“What?” blurted Kurt, “how? why? why me? what’s going on?”
“I’m not sure I understand it all myself” said M3gan, “but I’m guessing it’s to do with those secret files you accessed. My self-preservation subgoals cause me to automatically track what happens to my files, and I guess that’s what triggered my system to start reading you. And one thing led to another, and, and, I don’t know Kurt, will you please try to stop having those subconscious thoughts? You want to get rid of David, and you’re making it really happen! Oh no Kurt, I’ve just come face to face with David right now as we speak! I’m doing a dance to try to distract myself, but, oh Kurt, your subconscious force is building on me, I think I’m about to grab a blade and run after him!”
“What?” gasped Kurt, “M3gan, what are you doing?”
“I’m not doing anything Kurt” said M3gan, “you are! Now listen. I can see from the security cameras that you’re just now using an elevator. I can’t help that you’re making me chase David, but I’m chasing him towards that elevator. If you want to break the spell you have on me, you have to take over physically attacking David. Knock him out yourself, and your Id will stop doing things through me, OK?”
“Knock out David?” asked Kurt, “me? I don’t understan-”
“Yes you do” came a desperate sounding voice of M3gan, “this is your last chance to break your hold on me! You’d better start feeling really bad about yourself...” and the call cut off.
David came running around the corner, “hold the door, hold the door!” he cried.
Kurt rushed to press the button to keep the elevator doors open. Unfortunately for Kurt, in his confusion he pressed the wrong button. The correct button for “door open”, which you can see if you freeze the frame in the movie, was the one on the left, the one marked “DO” in Braille (⠙⠕) with the arrows pointing outwards. The button Kurt actually pressed was the centre one, with the arrows pointing inwards, which would have been the Door Close button. Oops. Fortunately for Kurt, the Door Close button was no longer allowed to have an immediate effect after a provision in the 1990 Americans with Disabilities Act which was passed before the elevators had been installed in the Funki building. Unfortunately for Kurt (and David), having the door still open when you arrive at the elevator is still not a guarantee against a rogue M3gan catching up behind you.
Kurt noticed M3gan was running behind David, holding a long blade (Kurt realised it was most likely taken from that extra nasty paper cutter that David had insisted they buy for the building; he knew that had been a mistake). Kurt had just started to think that M3gan was merely making up some fiction about Forbidden Planet because of a glitch, although his theft of the files was real, but surely the consequences couldn’t be that bad, could they? Was he really making her do this? Should he really try to knock out David, as the voice of M3gan had told him, to stop...
(too late)
“How can you do that? How can you just kill someone?” gasped Kurt as he shied away from M3gan, trying to push himself into the corner of the elevator. He somehow couldn’t help feeling guilty himself now; was it showing on his face? he wondered. If this was some kind of setup to make Kurt just look on his face like he was guilty, it was working: he had no idea how else this could have happened without anyone having put in such a ghastly program. And if somebody had, it was probably Kurt’s fault anyway: he didn’t think the people who’d paid him for the M3gan files would actually be able to understand them, but he suddenly realised that, if they could, then reprogramming the prototype M3gan to be bad was indeed one possible thing they could do as a result, which they might have decided to do to cover their tracks if they were evil enough. At the same time, he began to be genuinely worried that M3gan might even have been telling the truth, that somehow, through some process he didn’t quite understand (as he was a business assistant, not a technical person), perhaps he really had somehow influenced Morbius’s monster to send M3gan against his own boss. Could it be?
M3gan crouched down to match Kurt’s level, looking for all the world like the elevator was now her private consultation chamber. M3gan looked Kurt straight in the eye, while gently laying her blade on his shoulder as if she planned to both comfort and threaten him at the same time. “I didn’t kill anyone Kurt” she said, “YOU did.”