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"You came through the worst of times, be proud of what you have achieved in a very short period but also remember your daughters. We Africans value children so much and given your unbiased beliefs and love for a different race for romance, I'd say you will be as successful as you want to be." -James Ekwem, business partner
Outlook for the Future
Email: davidn@dfdn.info
(44) (0) 7943055280
The sequence of events which changed my outlook on life forever...
In 2014 I was an (unhappily) married man with no international plans or outlook, no clear career goal and a presumption that I would go on living in the United Kingdom for the rest of my days. Yet eight years later, I am on the brink of pulling off fthe biggest and most dramatic change in family history (and with wide implications for that of others too). What changed in such a dramatic fashion to bring about the downfall, first of an abusive marriage and then the downfall of the family's old ways of life? Which is to change the course of family history forever???? And what are the consequences for all concerned?
Here is a timeline of the events which brought me from being just another unhappily married man drifting on in life into an international man now the verge of transforming the course of family history (my own and that of others) forever...
2014: Death of my father: until this time, I had kept the abuse I had suffered secret. My father would have reacted badly to the knowledge of how I was being abused and had been ill for his final three years. Only after his loss (and my ex wife asking questions about inheritance before he even had is funeral) did I eventually begin to reveal the truth. My ex wife spending 7 weeks in Ivory Cost over the summer gave me the chance to pause and reflect on things.
2015: My ex wife's visit to Paris in the summer holidays results in her meeting (and beginning to commit adulation with) a man there. Unknown to her, I am fully aware of this and first beginning thoughts of our separation. I dream of taking back my life before it is too late, but hesitates: family law in the UK is a nightmare which makes leaving an abusive marriage difficult. Besides, having children brings an extra layer of difficulty. At this time, change is already underway, but it has not progressed very far; I have no defined international plans or strategy as of yet.
2016: I remove my ring six months before we separate; my heart is no longer with it. In fact, it is considerable time since my wife removed hers. The abuse is largely motivated by money: I am unable to give my wife the extravagant lifestyle she desires. In August, she visits the man again to continue the adultery; in September, she tries to get me into trouble with the police to get me out of the family home; the plan fails as I am fully aware of her plans and an ready and prepared. After separation, I take back the home and – in response to her refusal to let me see my daughters, I take her to family court. This also causes me to put my plans on hold – for now...
2017: I have now won back access to my daughters and my plans resume. Realizing that family law will trap me in poverty forever if I remain in the UK; I draw up plans to resume my career (on hold since 2005 when I had been forced to withdraw from my PhD) overseas and – tentatively – maybe to one day remarry. I search for suitable destinations. There are as follows:
-Europe would have been a natural first choice, and a favorite suggestion among my own close circle. But 'brexit' forces me to rule it out;
-Australia featured high on the list of suggestions too. But it was also ruled out – it is hard to get a visa, expensive and I would require qualifications costing me thousands which the CMS would NEVER leave me the **** alone to save.
-The only other destination which really had any supporters was somewhere in the Middle East, Dubai in particular (A favorite suggestion of Ahmeds). But I am not an experienced traveler and am wary of going into the Arab world alone. This also had to be ruled out.
So I was forced to rule out all the suggestions which my close circle had made. So what did this leave? Little did I know that soon, someone else would come and give her own answer...
By the end of the year, I had (tentatively) started to search for a new lady (I do NOT mean another gold digger!!!). I was however nervous of opening up my life after all I had gone forever.
2018: In January, Gloria arrives and it is initially a race against time to bring her to the UK before the CMS shuts down this avenue forever. It nearly succeeds, but she makes a catostrophic mistake which rules this out. But it also provides a choice of destination. West Africa it is! Meanwhile, I survive being robbed at knifepoint and narrowly escape losing an eye.
2019: The CMS forces me to abandon my old home, and shortly after, I survive being robbed at knifepoint for the second time . Sadly, leaving the home means that I cannot have my daughters stay with me any longer. But no great loss – it is becoming too costly (thanks to the CMS!) and I now plan to leave for Afrcia anyhow. But I need to draw up a plan for earning an income. After a period of research of consultation I drew upn] plans for an electronics business. But I need a shorter term source of income – I need to save to begin the business after I leave the UK. But before the plans can advance, disaster strikes....
2020: Covid-19 hits. I am forced to put plans on hold AGAIN. Meanwhile, we acquire a second orphaned lady who I allow to join; I welcome Ade. And I narrowly cheated death – this is due to a medical condition connected with the years of abuse I have suffered and was exaborated by the robberies (I have been diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder also, and I am advised to leave and begin a new life anyhow AWAY from all the old memories). But my old fashioned family say I am mad to leave (!!!) and accuse me of 'running away'. To hell with them!
2021: To provide a source of income which the CMS cannot intercept, I firstly settle for self employed cleaning work, and – as a longer term solution, an international source of income. I work towards getting a TEFL certificate to become on online teacher. I can bypass the system here by earning income internationally, and will have a source of income on arrival. I also put my aunt in her place – I dumfound her prediction that I will 'die from Covid-19 by the roadside in Africa' by announcing that I got an early vaccination by the backdoor just 3 weeks after the vaccination program gets underway. (My family always had a shocking lack of faith in me; it seems that the lessons of history are never ever learned.
2022: Plans are finalised and Sandy (yes a third Burkinabe!) is reunited with us – and we now stand at a crossroads – the future of the family (and indeed that others) hangs in the balance. What I do next will change the evolution of families and the course of their history forever....
2023? Well ladies over to you! But this will include the end of the road for the old family life, a new life and future for all of us, and as for my ex wife: be afraid. Be very afraid, your downfall is fast approaching... Update: I am to work in China in 2024 to help us establish financially. I seem, somehow, to be collecting Burkinabe ladies. Details to follow...
2024: Could I begin to feel like a family man once again?