💾 Archived View for ilo.sankase.la › log › 2023-12-24.gmi captured on 2023-12-28 at 15:01:38. Gemini links have been rewritten to link to archived content

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ilo.sankase.la - It's Christmas Eve and I'm tired

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Yesterday I set up a Mastodon server for myself and some friends. I told myself that I would not abandon the set-up halfway through and I would do a full config, filling out every setting before I shared the link. And I did, and I'm proud of myself for not getting distracted, but I am mentally exhausted.
It does not help that in the past 72 hours I have slept maybe 7 total. I have a weird sleep schedule due to most of my friends existing an ocean away, but I usually just shift my sleep hours instead of removing them. Well, right now I'm running on caffeine and fumes and I really, really need to sleep.
I forgot to take my meds yesterday and the day before, which probably has added to the hypomania and subsequent lack of sleep. It also means that there's an oncoming freight train of Bad Brain and I really don't want it to hit during family reunions. (Though to be fair I have spent the past two days oscillating between guilt, anger and petty coldness so it may have already set in.)

I want to spend the last days of the year introspecting about what I did, what I want to do, what I need. I might do it here on the Geminispace after these months of absence, who knows. Either way, whether you have upcoming celebrations or just ordinary times ahead of you, I hope you are all well.

collophon

If you want to talk about anything on this site, e-mail is a reliable way to contact me.

rodher@inventati.org