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VENDING MACHINE FUN BY: DIzzIE (ohhhhhh, ahhhhhhh) ?'99 A couple fun things to do to vending machines: ? You know those coin return slots? Sure you do. Wedge a piece of cardboard in there in the beginning of the day. In the end of the day get an icepick or a knife and tear out the cardboard, therefore freeing all the change that the people didn't get. Do this to soda machines, coin change machines, and candy machines. ? Put professional (meaning you should type the signs, that's right, on a computer) out of order signs on vending machines, for added effects unplug the machines. ? Here's a spiff-o-matic way (sorry kids, but it doesn't involve murder) to get free candy from those candy and snack machines with the clear plastic front, you know the ones where you can see all the snacks. Get a drill and drill a small hole in the center of the plastic front. Get a tough wire or small straight stick, bend the tip of the wire into a hook, or attach some chewing gum on the end of the pole, stick the wire through the hole you just drilled and just pick up the candy with the hook, raise it over the 'safety bar' and drop it down where you can pick it up. ? Pour water into the coin slot. No, not because this makes the machine go crazy and start spitting out money (that sometimes worked on very old models), but because this will mess the machine up, therefore causing the government to waste a couple hundred bucks on buying a new condom machine for the white house. ? Put up a warning sign (it should be typed, and for added effect have the coca-cola logo on it) that says that the beverages contained within this machine have been proven to cause birth defects and high risks of cancer. Email me at xcon0@yahoo.com or/and fax me at 1-559-663-4067