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The Death of Mrs D
by William S. Burroughs
[From the book 'The Third Mind', by William S. Burroughs and Brion
Gysin, Viking, 1978.]
[Transcriber's note: In this e-text, italicized grammatical
emphases are surrounded by asterisks, italicized names are
surrounded by single quotes, italicized foreign words and quotes
are not indicated.]
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From Pitman's 'Commonsense Arithmetic'
1. In the beginning was the word.
2. The word was and is flesh.
3. The word was and is sound and image.
4. Sound travels at the rate of 1114 feet per second.
5. Image travels at the speed of light: 186,000 miles per second.
6. Mr B, at point B', and Mrs D, at point D', are 1114 feet
apart.
7. Mrs D is equipped with a penetrating, long-range voice that
carries from point D' to point B'.
8. Mrs D screams: "...flesh flesh flesh flesh you stinking
heel..." (She hopes her contempt does not show unpro-
tected margin.
9. Mr B is equipped with a telescopic-sighted camera and a tape
recorder.
10. The camera and tape recorder are synchronized so that when
Mr B sights the beginning word on the lips of Mrs D, he
takes her picture and begins to record.
11. One second later, he hears and records her words.
12. When he hears her words, he has already taken her picture.
13. Mr B has taken a picture of Mrs D one second *before* she
manifests herself to him in word.
14. Mr B has split Mrs D's word from her image.
15. Mrs D might well bellow out some further pleasantries.
16. Mr B, feeling he has heard enough already, provides himself
with a rifle.
17. Mr B mounts the rifle and the telescopic-sighted camera on a
tripod.
18. The rifle has a muzzle velocity of 2228 feet per second.
19. When Mr B sights the beginning word on the lips of Mrs D,
he squeezes the trigger and takes her last picture.
20. Half a second later, the bullet hits her square in the mouth
and explodes her back brain.
21. One second later, he hears and records her last words:...
flesh flesh fl...
22. Mrs D has ceased to exist half a second *before* he hears and
records her last words.
23. Expose negative.
24. Wipe tape.
25. Not knowing what is and is not knowing, Mr B knew *not*
Mrs D.
26. Mr B is now at a point in space, 186,000 miles from Earth
at point B". (See proposition #5.)
27. Mrs D is back on Earth at point D".
28. Mr B has the same basic equipment but has substituted an
E&G Bradly laser gun emitting intense beams of coherent
light at 186,000 miles per second, capable of piercing the
hardest substance, even diamond...laser guns on the table,
how dumb can you be?
29. Mrs D has amplified her voice to accommodate the altered
distance relationship.
30. At one second *after* 4:00 p.m., Mr B sights the ugly word
on Mrs D's ugly mouth.
31. Now, since Mr B is one light-second away from Mrs D, and
it takes one second for her image to reach point B", Mr B
has, needless to say, provided himself with a more powerful
telescope to take a picture of Mrs D...not at one second
after 4:00 p.m., of course, but at exactly 4:00 p.m., present
Earth Time.
32. One second later, Bradly's laser slices through Mrs D's big
mouth and on my way rejoicing.
33. Mr B has taken the last picture of Mrs D (for Dead).
34. Mrs D is always dead when Mr B takes her death picture, a
second later.
35. Mrs D existed only in her last image and her last words,
which arrive, of course, from Pitman's 'Commonsense Arith-
metic' some hours later...so shut off the recorder...expose
the negative.
36. Mrs D's word and image never existed.
Silent Grocer Shops Cobblestone Streets
Wind Cold on the Lake
1. From Pitman's 'Commonsense Arithmetic', 1917:
"Walks at the rate of 18 miles per day. Will he be there in
time?"
2. From Claude P?lieu, 'San Francisco 9, Beach':
"Please adjust your brakes; a great risk in 'dancing.'"
3. From 'Transatlantic Review, 14':
"The beginning is also the end."
4. From 'Naked Lunch, Traveler's Companion #74':
"I can feel the heat closing in."
5. From 'D. Lamont':
"Throw the gasoline on them and light it quick."
6. From 'Work in Progress':
"terrible bright sun...raw pealed face...this thing dying
there in my arms..."
7. I would like to sound a word of warning to the 'Dancing Acad-
emy', "In Hazard":
Should the world's gravity be reduced by The Other Half, who
is known as 'Gravity Gert', the force of the sun's rays would
increase by one half...from Pitman's 'Commonsense Arithme-
tic'...constituting The Heat Death.
8. From 'Work in Progress':
"The formulae are fierce, can't hold the bastards back. The
tide is coming in at Hiroshima, you dumb Earth hicks, sauve
qui peut!"
9. From 'The Moving Times:
"Only one caller this week; plain Mr Jones. Going to reach
Frisco but we'll all be dead."
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