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                             Wifespeak Translations

Wifespeak                English
------------------------------------

	
You want              <=>  You want

	
We need               <=>  I want

	
It's your decision    <=>  The correct decision should be obvious by now

	
Do what you want      <=>  You'll pay for this later

	
We need to talk       <=>  I need to complain

	
Sure... go ahead      <=>  I don't want you to.

	
I'm hungry            <=>  (a) Make me something to eat.


                             (b) Stop what you are doing, scrape together your
                                 last $5, and go drive across town and get me
                                 something to eat. -- I don't care if what you
                                 are doing is important.

	
I'm not upset         <=>  Of course I'm upset,you moron.

	
You're ... so manly   <=>  You need a shave and you sweat a lot.

	
You're certainly      <=>  Is sex all you ever think about?


  attentive tonight.

	
I'm not emotional!    <=>  I'm on my period.


  And I'm not
  overreacting!

	
Be romantic, turn     <=>  I have flabby thighs.


  out the lights.

	
This kitchen is so    <=>  I want a new house.


  inconvenient

	
The car is empty      <=>  Go fill it up

	
The trash is full     <=>  Take it out

	
The dog is barking    <=>  Go outside in your underware and see what is wrong

	
I want new curtains   <=>  and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper.....

	
I need wedding shoes  <=>  the other 40 pairs are the wrong shade of white

	
Hang the picture there<=>  NO, I mean hang it there!

	
I heard a noise       <=>  I noticed you were almost asleep.

	
Do you love me?       <=>  I'm going to ask for something expensive.

	
How much do you love  <=>  I did something today you're really not going to


  me?                        like.
------------------------------------
/* in answer to "What's wrong?" */
  --Nothing.          <=>  Everything.
  --Everything.       <=>  My PMS is acting up.
  --Nothing, really.  <=>  It's just that you're such an asshole.
  --I don't want to   <=>  Go away, I'm still building up steam.
    talk about it.

--------------------------------------
    I'll be ready in    <=>  Kick off your shoes and find a good game
     a minute.               on T.V.
    Is my butt fat?     <=>  Tell me I'm beautiful.
    You have to learn   <=>  Just agree with me.
     to communicate.
    Are you listening   <=>  [Too late, you're dead.]
     to me!?

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