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From: superdj@cs.mcgill.ca (David JOHNSON)
Newsgroups: alt.sex.wizards,news.answers
Subject: [alt.sex.wizards] FAQ (1/4)
Summary: frequently asked questions for alt.sex.wizards
Message-ID: <1992Dec1.235736.6036@cs.mcgill.ca>
Date: 1 Dec 92 23:57:36 GMT
Organization: SOCS - Mcgill University, Montreal, Canada
Lines: 968
Archive-name: alt-sex/wizards-faq/part1
Last-modified: 1 Dec 1992
THE OFFICIAL ALT.SEX.WIZARDS FAQ FILE WITH ANSWERS
--------------------------------------------------
(dated December 1, 1992)
PURPOSE OF THE FAQ FILE
Alt.sex.wizards may not receive the amount of traffic that
alt.sex does but a FAQ is always nice to educate the new and
bring new information to the old. This FAQ will concentrate on
sexual technique and wizardry and present the necessary data to
keep wizards healthy and happy. Readers of this group have more
than enough to read through without having to filter out
inappropriate posts. To help prevent the constant debating of
these points, this post serves as a guide to the Frequently Asked
Questions. If you are new to this group, please take the time to
read through this file, even if only to read the Table of
Contents.
This does not mean these things are not subject to further
debate, merely that they HAVE been considered by the readers
here. If you have something significant to add to the subject,
then feel free to post.
Every effort has been made to keep attributions to authors in
this FAQ file as accurate as possible when available. In many
cases however, the name of the original poster has been lost
through repeated transfers. I have corrected typos and other
errors as I come across them but some slip through, nevertheless.
This FAQ is by no means complete. If you have suggestions as to
changes or additions please email me at:
superdj@cs.mcgill.ca
USING THE FAQ FILE
In order to navigate more easily through this file there are:
1) separators "-------------------" after most question-answer
sections;
2) separators "================..." after main categories;
3) unique question numbering (i.e., cX-Y is category x,
question Y.)
Use the search function on your editor (you do have an editor,
right?) to jump to ends of sections by searching for "------" or
"========", and to questions by searching for "cX-Y". If your
viewing this with a newsreader use the goto function to navigate
through this file. (In rn use the g command.) The Table of
Contents lists all questions covered in the FAQ.
Thank you for your support.
Editor of the FAQ file,
-David Johnson
superdj@cs.mcgill.ca
[License is hereby granted to republish on electronic media for
which no fees are charged (except for the media used), so long as
the text of this copyright notice and license are attached intact
to any and all republished portion or portions.]
CHANGES (Dec 1)
- added section on venereal warts.
FORMER CHANGES (Nov 1)
- added section "How does one make a simulacrum (artificial
orifice)?" *alt.sex.wizards exclusive* (any ideas for more
exclusives? )
FORMER CHANGES (Oct 1)
- reformatted to 75 characters per line.
FORMER CHANGES (Sept 1)
- added section: "Is it possible to get pregnant from anal sex?"
- added section on vibrators.
- updated section on spanish fly
FUTURE CHANGES
- Section about instructional videos for couples.
- better organization of files.
- Extended section on sexual aids.
- Any suggestions?
=================================================================
TABLE OF CONTENTS:
Category 1. Alt.sex.wizards Terms and Acronyms
Category 2. A wizard's materials:
c2-1 What are good books to read up on?
c2-2 What stores sell sex-toys, etc. ?
c2-3 Should I buy a vibrator?
What kind of vibrators are there?
Do vibrators 'desensitize' women?
Can I be replaced by a vibrator?
c2-4 How does one make a simulacrum (artificial orifice)?
Category 3. General stuff
c3-1 What should I do to make (the first attempt at) vaginal
sex easiest?
c3-2 What should I do to make (the first attempt at) oral
sex easiest?
c3-3 What should I do to make (the first attempt at) anal
sex easiest?
c3-4 How does one give a hand job?
c3-5 What is circumcision and why is it done?
c3-6 What is the Venus butterfly?
c3-7 What are the contents of semen?
c3-8 Does what I eat affect the taste of semen/vaginal
fluids?
c3-9 What is and where is the G-Spot?
c3-10 How can females ejaculate?
c3-11 What about oral/vaginal sex during a woman's period?
c3-12 What percent of men and women masturbate? and at what
frequency?
c3-13 What's the average length and width penis?
c3-14 What can one do about premature ejaculation?
c3-15 Is it possible for men to be multi-orgasmic?
c3-16 What are Kegel exercises?
How can one increase the force of ejaculation?
c3-17 What are some good positions to try out?
c3-18 What is the M-spot?
c3-19 What are blue balls?
c3-20 Is spanish fly dangerous?
c3-21 Is it possible to get pregnant from anal sex?
Category 4. STDs
c4-1 How is the AIDS virus transmitted? and what does a HIV
test show?
c4-2 What is HPV (human papilloma virus)? Treatment?
c4-3 The major sexually transmitted disease (STDs) and their
symptoms (Gonorrhea, Syphilis, Genital Herpes, AIDS,
Pubic Lice (Crabs), Nonspecific Urethritis (NSU),
Hepatitis B are covered.)
c4-4 What are venereal warts? Treatment?
Category 5. Contraception
c5-1 What are the various methods of contraception? and
their effectiveness rates? and their associated risks
if any?
c5-2 What kinds of condoms are there?
Appendix 1. List of contributors
Appendix 2. The Teachings of Kama Sutra
=================================================================
Category 1. ALT.SEX ACRONYMS AND TERMS
:),:-) - smiley, indicates humor or sarcasm (many variations
exist)
69 - mutual oral sex
B&D - bondage and discipline (consensual)
BTW - by the way
D&S - Dominance and Submission
FAQ - frequently asked question
IMHO - in my humble/honest opinion
IMNSHO - in my not so humble opinion
LJBF - let's just be friends
MOTAS - member of the appropriate sex
MOTOS - member of the opposite sex
MOTSS - member of the same sex
P&T - Power & Trust
S&M,S/M - sadism and masochism, SexMagik (consensual)
SO - significant other
anilingus - similar to cunnilingus but with the anus
bestiality - sex with animals
blue balls - see question c3-19
clitoris - the most sensitive external female sex organ (for
approximate location, see diagram in c3-9, second
article)
cunnilingus - oral sex involving the vulva
dental dam - a piece of latex placed over the vulva during
cunnilingus to protect both partners from STDs.
fellatio - oral sex involving the penis
fisting - inserting a whole HAND into either the vagina or
the anus
gerbiling - the activity of Urban Legend status regarding the
insertion of a gerbil or similarly-sized rodent
into the anus
ObSex - Obligated Sexual Comment/Reference; inserted at
the end of some posts which otherwise have very
little to do with sex.
rimming - similar to anilingus but with the "rim" of the
anus
safeword - the code phrase or word used in any sort of
B&D/S&M activity that really means "Stop NOW."
water sports - sex involving urine or urination (also "scat", sex
involving feces.)
=================================================================
Category 2. A wizard's materials:
c2-1. What are good books to read up on?
"Man's Body: an owner's manual"
"Woman's Body: an owner's manual"
"More Joy of Sex"
Elf's (elf@halcyon.com) recommended reading list includes:
"The New Our Bodies, Ourselves."
The Boston Women's Health Book Collective, 1984.
I don't care what sex you are, male or female, BUY AND READ THIS
BOOK COVER TO COVER! If you feel it is necessary, ignore the
feminist attitudes taken in the political sections of the book
and rely on the technical details. Although it was written before
the age of AIDS, NorPlant, and RU-486, it contains information on
every other method of birth control, as well as articles on
abortion, reproductive technology, and sexually transmitted
diseases. An utterly invaluable book to women and people who love
them.
"The Joy of Sex," by Alex Comfort
Although these two books have a few problems, they are excellent
introductory material for people who wish to try a few new
things. These books were written in the 1970's and it shows;
homosexual and bisexual issues are under the "Problem" header,
for instance.
"Delicious Sex" by Gael Greene.
Since I rarely buy "mainstream" sex manuals any more, this one
may be just a typical example. But it does have fun and sexy
examples.
"Sex for One," by Betty Dodson.
The best guide to masturbation ever written.
"Bi Any Other Name"
Is a useful book for people dealing with their own or a loved
one's bisexuality.
"Coming to Power" by SAMOIS
Although primarily written for lesbians, "Coming to Power" is the
most practical guide to SM I have ever had the pleasure of
reading. First Aid, physical and emotional safety, personal
testimonies, politics (sigh), and a few hot stories to boot! Also
useful from the same source, "The Lesbian S/M Safety Manual," not
for lesbians only.
FICTION:
"The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty,"
"Beauty's Punishment,"
"Beauty's Release." By Anne Rice, the author of "The Vampire
Lestat" and "The Witching Hour," "The Erotic Adventures of
Sleeping Beauty," is a wonderfully hot and sexy fantasy for
anyone willing to spend a few sleepless hours. Excellent
bathtime reading.
"Exit to Eden," also by Anne Rice. Another sexy SM story, this
one is set in modern-day New Orleans.
---------------------------------------
c2-2. What stores sell sex-toys, etc.?
From: elf@halcyon.com (Elf Sternberg)
There are several different places to buy sex toys. The most
common is the typical "adult" bookstore, where dildoes,
vibrators, and such can be bought. Typically, though, these
places are ugly, dirty, and uncomfortable.
The most common place for people to buy sextoys are lingerie
stores, which usually have a shelf set up to sell vibrators,
oils, body flavorings and paint. (Recommendations- whipped cream
and strawberry jelly are better than anything you could buy in
one of these places).
If you want a _real_ quality vibrator, buy a "body massager" at a
major department store, such as Service Merchandise or Bests'.
With wall current you've got all the vibration you could ever
need and never worry about battery failure. Just remember to use
lubricant!
See c2-3 for more info on vibrators.
---------------------------------------
c2-3. Should I buy a vibrator?
What kind of vibrators are there?
Do vibrators 'desensitize' women?
Can I be replaced by a vibrator?
From: elf@halcyon.com (Elf Sternberg)
Vibrators come in three distinct 'types'. Many women find
satisfaction in the most common (and more often thought of), the
classic penis-shaped, battery powered shaft of plastic. These
suffer, however, from a lack of real power and inconvenient
battery death.
The second type of vibrator, the 'wand' vibrator, overcomes these
problems with wall current. These large, club-shaped vibrators
provide LOTS of stimulation, and wall current provides all the
power you could ask for, but the designers apparently intended
for people not to view these things as sex toys, but as "personal
massagers," and the ungainliness of these things reflects that.
The third type of vibrator, the 'handle' type, looks vaguely like
a small hairdryer with a small, perpendicular shaft out of the
thicker end to accommodate a variety of soft plastic or latex
heads. The best of all possible worlds, these vibrators never
die, fit in one hand, and can provide a variety of sensations.
Shower Massagers make a wonderful variation on the classic
vibrator, and if you enjoy the warmth and wetness of the tub, you
probably want to consider investing in a shower massager. Like
the wand and handle vibrators, shower massagers have a host of
uses beyond masturbation, too!
BUYING A VIBRATOR: Don't make buying a vibrator a traumatizing
experience. If you MUST have one of those penis-shaped things,
most lingerie shops carry them. But most department stores sell
the 'wand' or 'handle' vibrators under the guise of "personal
massagers," and buying one from reputable department stores means
a warranty, you can return it if unsatisfied, and it won't have
"Doc Johnson's Love Machine" emblazoned across it in pink letters
in case mother comes to visit.
CAVEAT: Before using any mechanical vibrator, apply lubrication!
Your lover probably does not rank friction burns in the same
category as love bites. Use a water-based lubricant, such as K-Y
(always recommended), Aegis, or Wet.
CAVEAT: Do not purchase a vibrator specifically designed to
deliver heat to the body as a sexual device. If they work on
muscles, great, but don't use them on your cunts and cocks. I
know of at least one case where a woman burned herself with one
of these things because her climaxes were so strong she didn't
notice how much the heater had burned her.
RECOMMENDATION: I prefer the 'handle' type myself, with the
Con-Air and the Oster "personal massagers" as my all-time
favorites. Oster makes a 'heating' type of vibrator, as well, so
be careful when you buy.
ADVICE: Nobody knows how to masturbate YOU better than you do,
and the same rule applies to everybody else. Don't use a vibrator
on someone else until you've watched them use it on themselves,
preferably several times. Men, especially, should watch how their
girlfriends/ wives use the vibrator alone before taking the
reins.
No mechanical piece of plastic can replace the love and affection
of a human being; try to see the vibrator as just another toy,
and not as competition. Some women do experience a temporary
'desensitization' after the effects of a powerful vibrator, but
put the toy away for a week and sensitivity returns to normal.
Vibrators do not cause long-term desensitization.
Should you buy a vibrator? That's a decision only you can make; I
personally have bought two for my wife, and a shower massage, and
they've made our sex life a whole lot better, not worse. As
always, your mileage may vary.
---------------------------------------
c2-4. How does one make a simulacrum (artificial orifice)?
From: "The Contrivor"
Question - We all know women have vibrators and water
massagers, but is there any really good (orgasm
inducing) sex toy for men?
Answer - Yes, and you can make it yourself. There are
commercial alternatives as well, but they are not
very satisfactory. The device described below,
called "the simulacrum", can be used alone or with
a partner. It can also be held between the legs of
a partner, constituting a form of "safer sex".
Materials:
1. A piece of foam rubber, approximately 4" x 5" x 6-7".
Generally, the softer the foam the better. You may want to
try more than one grade of foam. High quality, soft, foam
can be purchased at a good upholstery fabric store.
2. A latex, non-lubricated condom. The best brand for this
application is "Gold Circle Coin".
3. An O-ring larger than the diameter of the man's penis. The
average penis is about 1 1/2" in diameter, so the typical
O-ring might be a 1 3/4 inch inner diameter. A good hardware
store will have many sizes of O-rings.
4. A water-based personal lubricant. The best is probably
"Astroglide". Look in any drug store near the female
hygiene/contraceptive department.
5. A wooden clothespin.
Construction:
1. Cut a slit through the length of the foam, being very
careful not to cut yourself. I recommend wearing leather
gloves and using an electric turkey carving knife. It can be
done with a sharp knife, but is considerably more difficult.
Make the slit about 2" wide, going through the whole length
of the foam. You want plenty of foam all the way around the
slit, so try to center it. See the diagram below.
__________________
/. /|
/ . / |
6-7" / . / |
/ . _____ / |
/ . . . / |
/ .___.___.___/_____|
/ / . . / /
------------------- /
| / . . | /
| / . . | /
4" | / ----- | /
| / 2" slit | /
|/ |/
-------------------
5"
Usage:
You may want a wet washcloth available.
1. Unroll the entire condom.
2. Bring the open end of the condom through the O-ring, then
stretch the open end of the condom over the O-ring, the way
that a plastic trash can liner goes on a trash can.
3. Lubricate the inside of the condom with a water-based
lubricant, working the lubricant around to insure that there
are no dry spots. DO NOT USE skin lotion, vaseline, baby
oil, vegetable oil, or any oil based lubricant. Use a water
soluble lubricant such as below:
- Astroglide personal lubricant
- Prepare person lubricant
- HR jelly
- KY jelly
- Today personal lubricant
4. Push the closed end of the condom down into the slit in the
foam. You may find this easier with the wooden clothespin
already clamped onto the tip of the condom.
5. Reach through from the other end of the foam and pull the
closed end of the condom through. Fasten the clothespin on
this end; If the condom is stretched tight a smooth texture
will be achieved, if left looser a rougher texture will be
achieved.
6. Lubricate the penis with the water-based lubricant. If you
use an oil based lubricant, the condom will break.
7. Wipe your hands off on a wet wash cloth.
8. Insert the penis through the O-ring into the foam slit. You
may find this difficult if the inside of the condom is not
fully lubricated, or if the the slit is too small. The width
of the slit will determine the fit. You may wish to vary
this width to find the perfect fit. Be careful -- too tight
and you may irritate your penis -- never a good thing!
9. The foam may be moved with hands, or wedged between pillows,
or against a bed. It is recommended that the user experiment
with various speeds, angles, pressures and so on. Slow
rotation is particularly recommended. It is possible to
rotate, flex, change the angle of movement etc., in order to
provide different effects. Also, the amount of lubricant
used and the tension on the condom before attaching the
clothespin will affect the texture and sensation achieved.
Also, a drop or two of honey may be added as a thickening
agent, to increase the amount of friction.
I'm interested in hearing feedback about the simulacrum. Please
post your feedback to alt.sex.wizards.
- The Contrivor
=================================================================
Category 3. GENERAL STUFF
c3-1. What should I do to make (the first attempt at) vaginal
sex easiest?
FOR THE VIRGIN FEMALE:
1) Do it in a place where she feels safe, ideally in her own
bedroom.
2) Do it at a secure time, when roommates won't come barging
in, a firedrill is unlikely, etc.
3) Simulate it in advance:
a. Go almost all the way.
b. Practice the thrusting motions of sex while fully
clothed.
c. Have her give you a "hand job" so that she will know
what your body does when you have an orgasm.
d. Have a bright lights "show and tell" session, to allow
you to feel secure around each other's naked bodies.
4) Plan it, but don't talk about it being planned, on the
actual day that you do it.
5) Stretch the vagina out a lot with the fingers in advance. If
she feels comfortable with the idea, she can even do this
herself when you're not around.
6) Remember that it is her day--everything, within reason,
should be done how she wants.
7) Spend the day with her beforehand; do something fun but
generic-- if you do something complicated, it will become
"your" thing to do together forever, due to the association,
so make sure it's something you can stand doing again on any
potential anniversaries.
8) Have a special dinner before you "start."
a. Nothing that can possibly upset the stomach.
b. A moderate amount, even if you're nervous. You should
both stay a little hungry and not feel bloated.
9) Use plenty of lubricant. I recommend k-y jelly for the first
few times; after that you may want to consider a slightly
less slippery but spermicidal lubricant, several brands are
available commercially.
10) Entry should be "missionary" style, this leaves the vagina
as wide open as possible. Some women find that placing a
pillow under the buttocks enhances this effect, others have
said it doesn't matter.
11) If she can do it, she may be best off to do the actual entry
herself, but many women would rather not.
12) There's no point in getting it over with right away, since
it will only hurt the next time, but there is also no need
to draw it out.
I'd say 10-30 minutes is a good range, but it is actually
going to vary a lot depending on the particular couple
involved.
13) Take forever, if necessary, before putting it in. Only when
the woman is really ready should this be done. I'd recommend
asking verbally, and then interpreting that to see if she
really means it's time.
14) Stay with her afterwards. Spend the night, at least. If
possible, take her to do something spontaneous the next day.
Discuss what happened if she wants to, many women won't want
to until some later time.
15) Encourage her to talk to other women ahead of time to give
her some idea of what to expect. The unknown means fear,
fear leads to tension, tension leads to difficulty relaxing,
and difficulty relaxing leads to pain.
16) A useful technique, for guys who can do this, is to keep the
erection soft, at a sort of middling state, and then push
the penis in with a finger. Then slowly let it harden. This
will produce a stretching rather than a sudden opening of
the vagina. If you can't do this, then at least go in slowly
and gently, "getting it over with fast" is not likely to be
better.
17) Be more or less "in love." This is something you can't just
decide to do, but it can help to wait until you love each
other.
FOR THE VIRGIN MALE:
(from: Carole Ashmore)
OK. This is on the assumption that he's told you it's going to be
his first (some men tell you *afterward*) and that the two of you
are not first-timers fumbling together. In the both-first-timers
case I recommend strong egos, mutual respect and affection, and a
great sense of humor. Also theoretical knowledge *helps*. Read
the fucking manual. (Sorry I just couldn't resist the play on
words.) I recommend anything by Alex Comfort; THE JOY OF SEX and
THE FACTS OF LOVE are very good.
But on the assumption that he is a virgin and you are
experienced:
1. There is a socially prevalent notion that men make love and
women are made love to, so an experienced woman with an
inexperienced man is going to be gritting her teeth enduring
his fumbling ineptitude. *Actively counter this notion.*
Tell him the thought of his being a virgin makes it a
special and especially delightful encounter for you. Tell
him the thought of initiating him into the joys of love-
making is *very sexy for you*. Strongly convey the notion
that you expect to have a great sexual experience based on
his attractiveness, his enjoyment, and *your* skill. Make
him believe that he has no responsibility for 'making this
work' and can just enjoy it.
2. Take the initiative physically. You kiss him, don't wait for
him to kiss you. You start undressing him. You make the move
in the direction of the bedroom. ETC. On the other hand,
don't insist on the initiative if he takes it eagerly -- be
appreciative, encourage it, but don't go limp and assume
he'll take it from here.
3. Tell him you find at least one thing about his body
particularly attractive. Stay away from "You have beautiful
eyes.", but almost anything else will do: Tell him you love
men with hairy chests, or tell him he has a great ass, or
tell him men with strong hands particularly turn you on, or
tell him you love the way he smells, or tell him running
your fingers through his hair is *so* sensual, or...
something *specific*, not just, "You've got a great body."
or "You're so sexy." After you tell him this, *show* him--
run your fingers through his hair, enjoy grabbing the sexy
ass, etc. as appropriate.
4. Tell him you find at least one thing he does particularly
attractive -- again, it is the *specific* thing that is
believed and appreciated. "I love the way you kiss." or
"Yes, touch me exactly like that." beats the hell out of
"You're a great lover."
5. He's going to be convinced he was either too fast or too
slow -- the chances of simultaneous orgasm after whatever
the culture has led him to believe is the 'proper' amount of
time are just about nil. So be prepared ahead of time to
convince him that this:
A. isn't a problem B. happens to just about everybody. For
'too fast' tell him the first time just takes the edge off
and he (not you) will have more time to enjoy the next
session of lovemaking -- and meanwhile he has this wonderful
opportunity (of *unspecified* length) to learn what pleases
you while he's not so distracted. Assure him that you
consider 'not being too distracted while learning' an
*advantage* in lovemaking. For 'too slow' tell him you
*enjoy* prolonged lovemaking -- either it gives you a chance
for more than one orgasm or it gives you a chance to enjoy
the wonderful sensuality of post-orgasmic sex. If it's
obvious that it's too slow for him, that he's not going to
make it if he keeps at it for the next two hours, let him
know that he gave *you* a wonderful time and that
everybody's nervous the first time, he'll be more relaxed
and ready to enjoy it in the morning.
6. Tell him you want to sleep with him again; don't assume he
knows it -- don't make him ask, you ask.
---------------------------------------
c3-2. What should I do to make (the first attempt at) oral
sex easiest? (See questions c3-4 and c3-9 for the
related topics, hand jobs and the G-spot)
From: hurd@fraser.sfu.ca (Peter L. Hurd)
Message-ID: <hurd.699947179@sfu.ca>
Date: Sat, 7 Mar 1992 05:46:19 GMT
So I asked the expert, she said:
1) really like the penis that you're sucking
2) don't let any air in through the back of the throat, big
vacuum.
3) Horizontal strumming with the tongue across the base of the
head on the underside to get limp penises up
4) Use the top of the tongue to make friction on the head,
pressing it up against the roof of the mouth.
I'd add: watch the teeth & I know this isn't anything new or
exciting, it's really difficult to describe how to perform oral
sex on a man, just as it is very difficult to describe to someone
how to tie shoelaces or bowties. But for the good of the species,
I think it's worth a try.
From: sesharp@happy.colorado.edu
The best way to learn is to experiment and learn from feedback.
Different people like different things. There are some general
comments that might be worth making. At the least it will get
someone to contradict me and start a useful discussion.
FOR HIM:
Deep-throating apparently requires handling the gag reflex by
swallowing when it happens. In my opinion, it isn't that
important. Complete enclosure isn't the strong point of oral
stimulation. If that is important to you, try something else. She
may be able to help by using her hands on the part of the shaft
she can't enclose. The advantage of oral stimulation is the
control and variety it provides, which are only available with
shallower penetration anyway.
From others.somewhere.edu:
I find that it helps if you are hungry when you do it. Never
attempt going down on a guy if you've eaten a big meal recently.
Make sure that you're not thirsty when you start. For some reason
thirst closes up the back of your throat.
Also, concentrate on breathing through your nose deeply while
doing it. (This is the only way I can hold off chocking on my
toothbrush every morning.)
According to Linda Lovelace of "Deep Throat" fame, the most
comfortable way to give a blow job is if your throat is straight.
In order to achieve this, try laying on his chest.
She also suggests that you practice by sticking your fingers down
your throat and wiggling them around til you feel the gag reflex
and then ease off. Repeat until you've defeated the reflex, it'll
take time she says.
From sesharp@happy.colorado.edu:
FOR HER:
First of all, recognize that women prefer gentler and more
rhythmic stimulation than men. An advantage of using the tongue
instead of the fingers is that it naturally produces about the
right amount of pressure. Stimulation inside the vagina needs to
be firmer and also requires more reach, so it is better handled
with the fingers. If she is sensitive internally, there is no
reason to be a purist and insist on using only your mouth. Trying
to apply firm pressure or get too much reach with my tongue is
the only way I've ever had it get tired. Otherwise it seems to be
inexhaustible for hours.
The tongue and lips are obviously the source of most oral
stimulation. I have read descriptions of using the teeth for
stimulation but I don't recommend it. The tissues are very
sensitive and one uncontrolled body movement from her could cause
a lot of pain and leave a scratch. This can also occur with
fingernails, so keep them short, with no rough edges. The only
use I've found for teeth during oral sex is pressing their front
surface through the cushion of the upper lip to apply firm
pressure to the buried root of the clitoris at the base of the
pubic bone. If she really wants hard pressure on the clitoris,
you might try using your teeth with your lips rolled inwards to
cover the surfaces (a technique borrowed from nipple
stimulation).
The clitoris is your main area of concentration. Some women don't
like it to be stimulated directly because it is too sensitive. It
also may disappear under its hood at some stages of arousal and
stopping to try and locate it again disrupts the stimulation. In
both these cases, the hood and labia (lips) nearby should be
stimulated to indirectly stimulate the clitoris. The labia are
sensitive themselves as well. Trying to stimulate the vagina
orally is difficult and not very effective except for a little
variety. I've always found the 69 (mutual oral sex) positions
give the wrong angle for best access, though that might be due to
less experience with them. They definitely make it more difficult
for the female to stimulate the male well, since they place the
sensitive underside of the penis away from her tongue. It is
usually better to take turns giving and receiving anyway, just to
avoid distraction.
There is a wide variety of types of stimulation that can be used.
The tongue can be used flat to broadly stroke areas or pointed to
tease a small area. Linear, circular or any other imaginable
motions can be used. The lips can apply suction, press something
between them, or have their wet and outward rolled inner surfaces
used for broad strokes like the tongue. The nose can provide some
interesting stimulation when the tongue is occupied lower down.
Mustaches and beards can be used to tickle with.
You can blow a narrow stream of cool air at a spot or breathe
warm air over an entire area (just don't try to inflate the
vagina; it may be dangerous). Experiment and find out what works
best for you and your partner. It may change at different times
and levels of arousal. Light teasing and varied stimulation are
good for early arousal, but steady rhythmic stimulation is best
for bringing her to orgasm. You just have to learn her responses
to avoid changing stimulation too quickly for her to get excited
or staying with the same stimulation after it has lost
effectiveness.
---------------------------------------
c3-3. What should I do to make (the first attempt at) anal
sex easiest?
Compiled, edited, and reorganized by adchen@phoenix.princeton.edu
with material from (stsou@hpcupt1.cup.hp.com (Sharon Tsou), KAT,
clw5@po.CWRU.Edu (Christopher L. Wood), kwatsi@athena.mit.edu
(Atomic Playboy), and rpeck@jessica.stanford.edu (Raymond Peck)
STRETCH FIRST
The key to attempting anal sex is two-fold: stretching exercises
and relaxation. This is to accomplish two things:
1) to get your virgin ass used to something inside it, and
2) to get your ass used to something as large as your partner's
cock.
Stretching exercises will give you a chance to learn the needed
relaxation for the first attempt. The faster you learn to relax
the muscles involved, the easier it will be. You can use either a
dildo or fingers for the stretching exercises.
USING A DILDO
These are available at just about every adult bookstore and many
mail-order places. Once you get one, you should just practice
using it. You'll probably find it easier to at least use some
lubricant, at least on the first couple inches of it (more on
this later), as well as on your asshole, and a little inside your
anus.
This is to make the penetration much easier. The actual
penetration of the head of the penis is probably the most
difficult part, which is why a dildo is more realistic, and you
should most likely spend a fair amount of time getting used to
it. This can either be just inserting it up to the head, then
pulling it out and putting it in again, or completely inserting
it, and then removing it. You should do it enough until you get
to the point where you feel pretty comfortable with it. (Well, as
comfortable as it can be.).
There are two steps to practice insertion with the dildo. First,
you want to insert it the "normal" way, moving and rotating the
dildo around to find the most comfortable position for you. Do it
this way, so that you know which ways are more acceptable, and
which ways are more difficult or feel a bit painful.
When you have this down, you want to repeat the "exercise", only
now trying to keep the dildo as stationary as possible, moving
your ass and body to facilitate its entry. This is a better
simulation of when he really tries to penetrate you, because
(especially if you're on the bottom and he's on the top) you
really can't expect to be able to reach around and move his cock
to where you want it. You're going to have to be able to adjust
your body to his thrusts. I really can't tell you the best way to
do this, although doing it in whatever position you expect to be
in with him (on your stomach or back, for example) would probably
be the best way to also practice it.
USING FINGERS
All you need are your or your partner's fingers. Of course, you
can't have long nails. You start out by slowly pushing one well-
lubricated finger (index is best and hand lotion or vaginal
juices work fine).
Slowly move this in and out, gradually pressing more against the
walls of the anus. Since an "anal virgin" will probably be
nervous about this, his/her anal muscles will tend to contract,
causing pain. So it helps if he/she/you (I'll use 'she' from now
on) reads, listens to music, or masturbates so her mind will be
off her anus. After the muscles loosen up, put another finger in
along with the first, and then keep moving them the same way.
Eventually, add a third, and, usually, by the time you can put
four fingers in comfortably, an average sized penis should be
able to fit (although keep in mind most penises are *longer* than
fingers, so you may not be able to push it in as far).
THE REAL THING
USE A CONDOM AND LUBRICANT
When the time comes that you do have anal sex with him, I would
recommend having a condom. I think we all know the potential
dangers of sex (especially anal sex) when not using one, so
there's no real explanation needed.
They also help reduce the mess (although if you go to the
bathroom before this, and wash your ass with a wet rag, the
inside of your rectum will be quite clean, and you should be able
to put a finger in it without it picking up any solid particles),
and you can have anal sex with a condom on, then pull off the
condom and have vaginal sex. Remember to urinate before getting
buttfucked, because this position puts pressure on the bladder.
The next item is a good lubricant. I always use it with my one
inch thick dildo, so I have to think you would definitely need to
use some with a much larger real cock. While Vaseline is okay to
use when practising yourself, it is unacceptable to use when
using a condom, since it will start to break the latex down. KY
is usually the preferred choice.
Lube up both the outside of the anus and the penis shaft (very
important!). Any lubricant that is condom compatible is ok, that
means water-based. So do not use vaseline, baby oil, or cold
cream. Use KY Jelly, AstroGlide, HR, or PrePair. PrePair is a
good one because it contains nonoxynyl-9, which is a spermicide
that also can kill many bacteria. Spit is also a viable
lubricant, provided that you keep replenishing it. It evaporates
more readily than other lubricants, especially during lengthy (ho
ho) sessions, so you'll have to be aware.
GOING FOR IT: take it *slow*
Okay, now that we've got the preparatory details out of the way,
it's time to enter. You should proceed VERY slowly. Place the
head of your penis against the anus, and then, apply a SMALL
amount of pressure so that the penis enters very slowly. It is
important to maintain control on entry because if you apply too
much pressure and the anal muscles just 'give way' it could hurt
like hell. Once you two become accustomed to doing this, it will
become much easier.
Getting inside may take anywhere from 15 seconds to 15 minutes.
Don't be impatient! If you push too hard or go too fast, you can
tear her. This isn't really serious, but it'll surely end your
fun for the day! She may want you to ease up on the pressure at
times to allow her body to get used to the opening. When she
gives you the go-ahead, it often helps to do a bit of short
stroking, starting with ~1/8" and going to maybe 1". When you
start to slide inside, she will most likely open up and relax
better.
Don't start out thrusting, just gently move back and forth, or
just get it inside and rest it there until she's used to it.
This is the most important part for her comfort and pleasure.
Basically, you apply a bit of pressure, and as she relaxes she
will let you in. Sometimes the act of her "pushing out" (like
defecating) will relax her sphincter. After you become more used
to it, a slight (~ 1/4") pumping of the pressure will let her
open up faster.
Sometimes she will find it painful for you to go in all the way:
it's similar to hitting the cervix. Don't go in all the way! Just
be very gentle at bottom of the stroke 'till it eases up.
After a while, if she is properly relaxed, you should not need to
be gentle: you can pump away with mad abandon. In fact, some find
this most stimulating. I pump all the way in, and then all the
way out, pulling completely out of her for a moment (although not
too long, 'cause she'll start to contract right away).
OTHER STUFF
Never switch orifices (i.e. going from anal to vaginal play)
without carefully washing with soap and water. Bacteria from the
colon can cause nasty vaginal infections. If you are using sex
toys (dildos or anal plugs) cover it with a condom first, so you
can simply pull off the condom and put on a fresh one to use on
another orifice or another partner, provided that you don't have
contaminated lubricant oozing all over the place.
You may or may not be need some type of pillow. This is basically
to prop under the ass or lay under the stomach to make the angle
of penetration a little easier. Whether you need this will depend
on where you have sex (it may be impractical to bring one, or the
positioning may be good enough already).
If you are into learning from pornography (and if you just want a
good laugh ;-)) I would suggest that you check out Hollywood
Video's "The Best of Caught From Behind: Part II". It's very
pornographic, very informative, and very funny. It's up to you
though.
POSITIONS
As for positions, it's usually easiest for insertion (unless
she's *really* excited!) in the spoon position. This also gives
you access to easily stimulate her in other ways. Be careful not
to transfer anything from the anal region to the vagina: this can
cause infections. I usually keep a set of fingers or a hand
"clean" for this purpose. This is also, of course, important for
non-intercourse anal stimulation, such as cunnilingus with some
fingers rubbing, some inside her vagina, and some in her anus.
Keep those fingers partitioned!
We usually switch to "on the knees-face in the pillow, her
pressing hard on her clit and pubic bone", to avoid severe
abrasion burns! ;-) Spoon position allows her more control over
initial insertion, while the other, well, it has its own
advantages!
The other positions, after initial insertion, to face-to-face,
with her legs on my shoulders. This really allows some serious
depth.
The position depends largely on how well you two fit together. If
you are tall and if your SO is short, you might want to try
having her lie flat on her stomach. You could also have her lie
on her back with her knees drawn up. In this situation, it might
be a good idea to place a pillow under her buttocks (depending on
what the two of you like). If dimensional factors permit, she
could also be on her hands and knees.
---------------------------------------
From: superdj@cs.mcgill.ca (David JOHNSON)
Newsgroups: alt.sex.wizards,news.answers
Subject: [alt.sex.wizards] FAQ (2/4)
Summary: frequently asked questions for alt.sex.wizards
Message-ID: <1992Dec1.235756.6106@cs.mcgill.ca>
Date: 1 Dec 92 23:57:56 GMT
Organization: SOCS - Mcgill University, Montreal, Canada
Lines: 1074
Archive-name: alt-sex/wizards-faq/part2
Last-modified: 1 Dec 1992
c3-4. How does one give a hand job?
How to Give the Perfect Hand Job
by Brooks Peters
Sex means more than intercourse; exploring all the different
variations enhances your sex life and keeps it from getting
stale. Masturbating your partner can be very exciting for both of
you. So, read on and learn how to let your fingers do the
walking.
Mutual masturbation can be a thrilling experience, but first, we
need to study the basics of manual technique. Most men feel women
aren't skilled at handling penises. Their grips are too limp,
lacking conviction and exuberance. They seem afraid to apply
pressure, yet often pull or tug at inappropriate moments,
disrupting the rhythm. They also have a tendency to scratch.
Clearly, we all need to be more knowledgeable about the proper
methods of mutual masturbation. Either you or your partner can
perform the following exercises. But it is written with an
experienced woman in mind.
The first concern is always a matter of size. Is it large or
small? Somewhere in between? No issue has ever received greater
attention than the size of a man's penis. Man's obsession with
cock size is probably a mental vestige of his primitive primate
past, but as far as human sexuality is concerned, it's a waste of
time. A large penis doesn't have any effect on a woman's physical
enjoyment unless she has a deep-seated psychological attachment
to well-endowed men.
How about its shape? Is it curved like a boomerang or is it
straight like an arrow? Does your fist fit around the spongy mass
of the shaft? Does your hand completely engulf it? This is good
because you can squeeze it all at once. But don't be an organ
grinder. Be gentle, yet firm. If the penis has an unusual girth,
your hand may not completely encircle it. In such cases, try both
hands to insure you don't miss any of the tender areas while
stroking.
Explore every square inch of his genital surface area. A man
loves to have his penis worshipped, played with, tickled,
fondled, massaged. Let him know that you are not afraid, ashamed
or disgusted.
Don't start stroking or jerking quite yet. Just feel the fullness
of it all. Let your fingers run from the balls to the top of the
cock head, swirl around there, then slide back down the other
half and end back down at the balls.The movements should be swift
and smooth, without bumping or stalling.
Now you're ready for some stepped-up action, but you don't want
to suddenly lapse into a series of beatings, whackings, jackings
and jerkings. Tease the more sensitive areas of the penis. These
include: the glans and corona, and the tender part of the bottom
side of his penis.
Bring your palm up to the top of the glans and park it there flat
out, fingers held together and stiff, thumb pointed straight out.
Spin it around as if you were trying desperately to remove the
tight lid of a jar. Your man will be groaning in delicious agony.
The glans is super sensitive and this motion will bring him
exquisite pleasure. He might grimace and cry out, and probably
try to push your hand away, but he's loving every second of it.
Now's your chance to be the one who ploughs ahead even though
he's pleading with you to stop!
After you've done this for a while, slip your hand down his
testicles and ever-so-gently grab them in your fingers, softly
tugging them down away from his shaft. If they are big and bulky,
like Grade AA eggs, bounce them up and down a couple of times in
your hand. Tell him how heavy they feel, how sexy they are.
Whatever you do, don't squeeze them! This could put a real damper
on your lovemaking for the rest of the day. You might notice that
one of his nuts hangs lower than the other. This is perfectly
normal. Once you feel comfortable with the way his balls feel in
your hand, gently roll them up the underside of his shaft.
Depending on their size and the amount of room in the scrotum,
they will most likely reach to half way of his penis. He will
like the way this feels.
Now, let go of his testicles and bring your fingers together in a
makeshift goosehead formation. Very lightly, begin to stroke his
erection with your fingers, running them all over his sensitive
shaft and balls. You may wish to slip the pocket of your
goosehead handhold over the tip of his penis, letting it rest
there for a few seconds.
About this time the penis will probably start to emit its natural
lubricant. Pre-seminal fluid is nature's way of moistening the
canal of the urethra so that the spermatozoa can swim more easily
out of it; it also lubricates the head of the penis. An
uncircumcised penis gathers up this lubricant within the foreskin
and keeps the head very moist and slick. Use the juice to
lubricate the shaft. Sometimes, its musky smell can be an
aromatic aphrodisiac for you both.
If there is little or no pre-cum, don't be concerned. It is not a
requirement, and it doesn't always appear at exactly the same
time.
In any case a good lubricant will work just as well. Add a drop
of moisturizing lotion to the shaft and gently rub it in.
Alexandra Penney, in her book, "How to Make Love to a Man", is
very keen on massaging the lotion between one's hands before
putting it on the penis because sometimes the cream is cold and
the palm-rubbing warms it up.
If your partner doesn't seem to have a very firm erection, try
using a cinnamon-based ointment which you can find at your local
sex novelty store or acquire through a mail catalog. The slight
burning sensation often causes the penis to become rock-hard.
Adding a little dab to the testicles also helps. If you really
want to do a number on him, slip a dollop of Ben-Gay on his balls
and watch him go through the roof.
One of the secrets of great manual sex is varying your hand
motions. Here are a few indispensable techniques:
SWITCH HITTER
Use both hands, alternating back and forth in a pattern you
develop to offer him the most arousal. He will notice the
difference. Don't get into a routine where the strokes are dull,
and noncommittal. Give it to him good. Get him to the point where
he's singing out, "I second that hand motion!"
DOUBLE WHAMMY
How about going double or nothing! Bring both well-lubricated
hands down on his shaft. Some cocks are so big they require both
hands. If your partner's doesn't, then use the other hand to
caress and lightly flutter his balls, or tighten around the base
of his shaft. If both hands fit along the length of the shaft,
move then together, up and down, in the typical pumping motion.
Pretend you're holding a baseball bat and are about to score a
grand slam. You can also vary the directions of your hands, one
up, one down at the same time. There's no doubt that two hands
are better than one.
THE ANVIL STROKE
Bring one hand down, letting it stroke the penis from the top all
the way to the bottom. When it hits the bottom, release it.
Meanwhile you're bringing your corresponding hand down to the top
of the shaft, creating an alternating beating motion, hence the
name "anvil stroke." Think of those blacksmith duos who keep up a
double beat pounding motion as they beat that rod of iron on a
piping-hot anvil.
THE SHUTTLE COCK
Not many people have heard of the "shuttle cock," but it's one of
the best. Take the penis in both hands, fingers lightly touching
the sides of the shaft. In order to visualize the position, think
of yourself holding a clarinet. Now flick the penis back and
forth between your two hands by holding on to the loose skin of
the shaft. Shuttling it back and forth in this manner may not
seem incredibly thrilling to him at first, but pretty soon, as it
builds up momentum, it will drive him out of his mind. Orgasms
encountered via this method are sometimes messy, but always
memorable.
THE BOOKENDS
Place both of your hands side by side against his shaft like a
pair of bookends. Now push hard against his penis. Then lift your
hands up and down. Continue in this manner for a while. The
constant tugging of the skin around the balls and the mons pubis
will do the trick.
THE FLAME
Place your hands down on either side, your fingers pointing away
from the cock. Pretend you're a campfire girl and start spinning
his pecker like a stick of wood. This way you'll keep the home
fires burning for a long time to come.
THE BASE CLUTCH
Tighten your thumb and forefinger around the base of the shaft,
pressing down on the balls. This will cut off the blood (acting
as an impromptu cock ring) and help you steady the shaft in your
hand. If the skin on it is slick and immutable, you can stroke
the penis with more friction, thereby enhancing the excruciating
experience.
THE LOVE TUG
As you are stroking him, lightly pull on the wispy strands of
pubic hair sprouting from his testicles. Don't pull so hard that
you remove them, but tease them gently, lovingly. This will make
him holler with delight and awe at your inventiveness.
THE TWO-TIMER
Tickle his balls with one hand while the other jerks him up and
down.
THE THIGH-SWATTER
Use the hand that is currently unemployed to firmly but lovingly
pat his inner thighs.
BEST FIST FORWARD
Place your fist against his perineum as you're stroking him.
He'll probably start opening his legs a little wider, giving you
more space to press against. Guaranteed to drive him wild.
As always, it is the psychological impact of what you are doing
that makes the sex so satisfying. Let your mind escape into the
uncharted wilderness of fantasy. As a sexual pioneer, it is your
manifest destiny to explore the outer limits of your sensuality.
From: "The Contrivor"
"How to give the perfect handjob" has inspired the following
additions.
All of the techniques below require good lubrication... Vaseline
or alboline are recommended. A fifty/fifty mixture of these two
lubricants is excellent.
THE MILKER Opposite of the Anvil - Hands alternate 'milking' up
the penis, starting at the base and working all the way up past
the tip.
THE PERPETUAL PENETRATION Like the Anvil, but rather than just
grabbing the penis at the top, let his penis 'penetrate' into
your fist on each stroke. Before the head of his penis pops out
of your hand, bring the other hand up for the next penetration.
This way it seems to him like he is penetrating deeper and deeper
into an infinite vagina. Make sure you keep the penetration
continuous for best results. Try faster or slower to taste.
THE PALM SWIRL - Use your open palm to swirl around the head, the
way your tongue would lick an ice cream cone. This sensitizes the
head, and will make it get larger and turn (even more) red. Try
reversing direction for a surprise.
TINY CIRCLES - As in "The Palm Swirl", use your open palm on his
glans, but stop at each "hour of the clock", and make circular
motions with your open palm. This will make this part of the head
EXTREMELY sensitive, so move to the next hour after a few
circles.
THE RING - Make a ring with your thumb and forefinger, and pump
up and down with this ring. When you get to the top, close the
ring, then make him squeeze his way in as you slide back down to
the bottom.
THE DOOR KNOB - Turn the head of his penis like a you're trying
to open a door knob coated with grease. It won't turn, but he may
flip. Now try turning the other way. Repeat.
THE SHAFT - Stroke only his shaft, ignoring the head. You will
notice it swelling and turning red. When it's bright red and rock
hard, use the Door Knob, the Palm Swirl, or the Perpetual
Penetration.
THE SPOT PINCH -- Lightly and slowly run a finger up the under
side of his cock. Ask him to tell you where the most sensitive
spot is. Pinch it, squeeze it, nibble it, tease it. This is a
good spot to pinch to turn a soft cock rock solid.
---------------------------------------
c3-5. What is circumcision and why is it done?
From: Travis Lee Winfrey <travis@ZONKER.gs.com>
"Male circumcision is the surgical removal of the foreskin from
the penis. When performed in a hospital, it is usually done
shortly after birth by a doctor or midwife. Circumcisions are
also given to Jewish boys by a _mohel_ in a ceremony eight days
after birth. Some (all?) Islamic boys are circumcised when they
are older, around 12. The majority of American boys are
circumcised.
Common reasons for circumcision include: better hygiene, "normal"
or "better" appearance, and "his penis should look like his
father's." Common reasons against circumcision include: it is no
longer necessary for hygienic reasons; it is a painful, barbaric
practice; possibility of infection or surgical error; "normal" or
"better" appearance; "his penis should look like his father's.";
and "greater sensitivity of uncircumcised penis."
Female circumcision is used to refer to a variety of practices,
including the removal of the clitoral hood. It is primarily
practised in Northern Africa.''
--------------------------------
c3-6. What is the Venus butterfly?
This is allegedly a technique which is supposed to do orgasmic
wonders. It was mentioned in an episode of L.A. Law, but of
course, was never explained. Some people have suggested a method
that might fit the name: Put your palms together, finger to
finger, spread your fingers, and insert one pair of fingers into
the vagina, another into the anus, plus another pair, stimulating
the clitoris. This provides a sort of triple stimulation.
---------------------------------------
c3-7. What are the contents of semen?
From _SEX A TO Z_ by Robert M. Goldenson, Ph.D., and Kenneth N.
Anderson Copyright 1989 by Walter D. Glanze, Pub. by World
Almanac, P. 243:
Semen content -
a term usually referring to the total content of semen
(whereas the term semen analysis usually refers to the
analysis of sperm). The question of semen content arises
especially among persons who regularly swallow semen, as in
fellatio, and who are concerned about calorie intake and
nutritional substances. The average ejaculate of aboutonia,
ascorbic acid, blood-group antigens, calcium, chlorine,
cholesterol, choline, citric acid, creatine,
deoxyribonucleic acid (DNA), fructose, glutathione,
hyaluronidase, inositol, lactic acid, magnesium, nitrogen,
phosphorus, potassium, purine, pyrimidine, pyruvic acid,
sodium, sorbitol, spermidine, spermine, urea, uric acid,
vitamin b12, zinc...For analysis of sperm, see SEMEN
ANALYSIS.
Note FRUCTOSE and SODIUM (salt) ARE listed.
---------------------------------------
c3-8. Does what I eat affect the taste of semen/vaginal
fluids?
From: unknown
The old adage "You are what you eat" has been known for a long
time. I have heard that the Chinese, most of whom have a genetic
trait commonly known as Lactose Intolerance, think that
Westerners "smell funny" and this has been attributed to the milk
in the Western diet.
Regarding vegetables, one of my old girlfriends had a habit of
eating a lot of sweet fruits and veggies; she tasted wonderful.
On the other hand, Xaviera Hollander (The Happy Hooker; Call Me
Madam) once gave advice to a man who was seriously considering
becoming a gigolo: Don't eat spicy foods. Your customers will
smell it in your natural odor and may end up tasting it in your
semen--a bad experience to receive.
---------------------------------------
c3-9. What is and where is the G-Spot?
FIRST ARTICLE (Author: unknown)
G wiz aka g-spot aka Grafenberg spot
Summary:
1) The g-spot exists in all women.
2) sensitivity varies.
3) Reaction/interpretation/openness varies.
G-spot IS female analog to prostate. It really does exist.
The road map (can by used by a man/woman with a woman partner or
a woman on herself).
Start from the pubic bone, it is the bone running across the
lower end of the abdominal region -- between the thighs and a
little above the clitoris and labia. The g-spot is behind this
bone -- so you need to find a way around to the other side.
Fortunately, there is an alternate approach in women -- up the
vagina. The walls of the vagina are somewhat wrinkly, a testimony
to how much the vagina can stretch (say to the size of a baby's
head). On the forward surface there is a smoother patch in about
2 knuckles (1.5-3 inches, 3.5-7 cm.). If a woman was to lay her
palm on to of her clitoris and curl a finger (or fingers) in to
the vagina in to a loose clench, the tips would be in the right
region. The g-spot is buried under some layers of tissue so it
may take some pressure to stimulate this area.
Repeating some general hints.
Arousal of the g-spot is usually more effective if the woman
is already sexually aroused.
Sharp or long nails are probably a no-no.
Some pressure may be necessary. Two fingers are usually
employed -- esp. since few people use mechanical typewriters
(which would give fingers strength and endurance).
Initial sensations in the woman may be a) discomfort, an
urge to urinate (the urethra from the bladder is being
stimulated), or a pleasurable sensation.
As stimulation continues (few minutes), the g-spot will
begin to swell. "Continued stimulation of the area _may_
result in an orgasm that is often quite intense." [see above
regarding being sexually aroused -- first. No arousal -- no
orgasm].
Ejaculation is possible, but the fluid is different from
vaginal secretions and from urine.
This does not work for all women. Discuss with your
intimates. Compare notes.
For some women, this area may receive stimulus in
penile-vaginal intercourse given the right angles. Rear
entry ("doggie style") may facilitate penile pressure in
this region.
If the partner you are playing with is a man, you can try
for a similar effect on his prostate entering through his
anus -- Long or sharp nails are a big NO-NO. You might want
to use glove or condom over fingers. I should not need to
say: DO NOT allow fecal material on or around woman's
vagina.
Note this can actually cause an ejaculation from a man
without orgasm or an intense orgasm or something in between
or nothing at all.
PLEASE:
Practice safe sex. No exchange of bodily fluids -- blood, feces
(which may contain blood), semen, or female ejaculum; unless you
both have been monogamous...
SECOND ARTICLE (author: Peter A. Merel)
ok, I got a copy of this thing from two different people, and it
was the same manual, so I guess this is the authentic one after
all.
I also received an interesting letter from a girl in California
that claimed she had written the g-spot manual. I would leave her
address, but she probably wouldn't like that so if you want it,
drop me a note and I'll give it to ya.
Well, good luck finding it! I know I'll be having some fun
tonight!
Okay, I've found G-spots in three women of my acquaintance. Two
of them were completely delighted with the discovery, and the
other one wasn't real crazy about it no matter what. Chacun a son
gout. It took some time and patience for one of the delighted
ones, but the other delighted one reckoned that she'd hit it by
accident a few times and just not known what happened. She
responded immediately, and with gusto.
Now I guess it's time for sex-ed 101, so listen up all of you who
have a sexual interest in female anatomy. The rest of you
probably ought to hit 'n' now.
7 will get you 2 that not a single netter hit 'n'. Well, let's
start with a nice juicy diagram. You'll have to bear with my
ability to render in ASCII. In an ideal world I'd sit one of the
secretaries on top of the fax machine, but, sadly, we are
restricted to text here.
If you have access to ######### These hashes are supposed
a set of female genitals ####### to be pubic hair covering
I'd suggest that you ##### the pudendum.
compare them with this ###
schematic. Single females
might like to use a mirror /U\ U is the clitoris
(or two) to verify that /' . `\ . is the urethra
they're set up like this. /' _ `\ The rest of the characters
I should probably say { | / \ | } are supposed to be the outer
that this is intended to { ` \ / ' } lips (labia majora), the
represent a view of the \ ` ~ ' / inner lips (labia minora),
genitals with legs spread, \ ` ' / and the vagina (or is that
looking up through the torso ~|~ vulva?)
as if the woman were a O O is the anus
telescope.
For those who never had a close look before and are a bit
worried, I ought to say that, except when quite sincerely
aroused, female genitals are usually not this clearly set out.
The clitoris likes to hide under it's own little hood, the lips
stick pretty close to one another, and it is quite likely that if
the owner of the genitals is standing up and unaroused you won't
really see more than some enticing tufts of hair and maybe the
outer lips. Folks whose knowledge of these matters derives mainly
from Playboy pictorials may be quite surprised that there's more
here than 'just a hole'.
Traditionally it was thought that all of the sensation available
from the female genitals derived from the lips, entrance to the
vagina, and especially the clitoris. In other words, what you see
above. It was thought that the interior of the vagina was
practically numb to sexual sensation.
Now one of those old coots who spent the seventies sticking their
noses into other people's intimate businesses was a guy called
Grafenberg, if memory serves. Dr G. had this theory that there
was an area within the vagina, which was called the Grafenberg
spot or G spot, which not only was sexually sensitive but which
could trigger bigger and better female orgasms than the clit and
the exterior bits could by themselves.
Now the trouble with Dr G.'s claim was that not everyone seemed
to be able to find this spot, which he reckoned was analogous
with the male prostate gland, and those that did find it didn't
necessarily like it much, and so there was some controversy,
especially in the popular press. A number of folks who did find
it and did like it eventually sussed out the mechanics of the
spot, and over the last few years there've been a number of quite
good books about it.
The story is basically this: The G-spot is a flat area about as
big as a one or two cent piece, about two inches inside the
vagina. It's just behind the pubic bone, on the vaginal wall that
is closest to the belly-button. You can reach it with your index
finger. If the genitals you're playing with are not very aroused
then you might have difficulty finding it, or it might not feel
very interesting or nice to the owner.
The trick is to make those genitals very aroused, and then have a
go at the G-spot. The best way is probably cunnilingus, which is
latin for having a lick, but any technique that provides good
stimulation of the clitoris will do for starters.
Now bear in mind that I'm skipping over a lot here. I strongly
recommend a good deal of foreplay before diving into a woman's
muff, like at least half an hour, and longer if you like. If you
can manage dinner and a good bath beforehand, even better.
Actually, I reckon that a bath or a shower before sex is a
reasonably good idea anyway, because we're dealing with equipment
that can be quite off-putting if it's on the nose when it's on
the nose, if you take my meaning. Besides, bathing is fun.
So, presuming that your woman is content with the preliminaries
and you're going hunting, you're going to have to begin by
relaxing. Softly Softly Catchee Monkey. If you're so pent up that
slamming your dick in the door has a pleasurable side to it
(sorry feminists, I'm not certain what the female equivalent to
that state is) then forget all this until you've had a bloody
good rogering or two.
Once you've achieved a state of patient interest, slowly start to
stimulate the clitoris. You've got to be really careful here,
because clitori are damned sensitive little beggars, and too much
of a good thing is not really a good thing at all. Also,
different clitori like different things.
Some like quite direct stimulation, some prefer one side or the
other, others are so sensitive that they like you to mainly stick
to the clitoral hood or the labia. Some like a circular motion,
and others like to be lightly flicked back and forth. The best
way to find out what your clitoris likes is to ask it's owner,
and if she doesn't know then do some experimentation. That's fun
too, so don't get pissed off if it takes a little while to figure
out what's good for you.
As I said, my preferred method is cunnilingus, but if the owner
of your clitoris doesn't like that for some reason ("no, my dear,
it's not germy and it does taste rather nice") then you'll have
to use your fingers. I find that the best thing for clitori is a
nice regular stroke, with regular exotic interludes. Basically
it's the same thing as for penises - you don't want all sorts of
unpredictable jerking around, and you don't want to feel like
it's caught in a vise, and you don't want it to feel like it's
attached to a reciprocating engine going at 5000 revs. Take it
easy. If the owner of your clitoris wants more stimulation you'll
notice her writhing around and pushing it at you. If she wants
less then she'll draw away. If it's just right then she'll sit
where she is and enjoy it. Pay attention to what she does.
So, you've got a nice regular stroke going - say, seven strokes
and then something exotic, and then another seven strokes and
another something exotic. Of course the G spot is in the vagina,
and you're going to have to know what's going on in there if
you're going to find it and do something with it. Slowly insert a
finger or two. Don't grab, because that can be rude and
distracting.
Now hopefully the vagina that you're dealing with is well
lubricated, but that won't necessarily be the case. If you spend
a long time at this even the juiciest woman can start to dry out,
so it never hurts to have a little lubricant handy, just in case.
I'd recommend K-Y jelly, which you should be able to find at any
chemist, but there are lots of alternatives. One that I wouldn't
recommend is vaseline - too thick. Another is baby oil - too
thin, and besides we should conserve the babies :-)
You can entertain yourself by running your finger around the
inside of the vagina, trying to discern its shape. Unless your
female is coming (having an orgasm), you should probably find
that the vagina is reasonably form-fitting, although some are
tighter than others. If your female is not coming or consciously
causing contractions you'll probably find that the vagina isn't
doing anything in particular, just sitting there and producing
lubricant. If you bring your finger to the front wall of the
vagina then you'll find it less yielding than the rest, because
there is a bone in front of it called the pubic bone, part of the
pelvis. If you feel along this unyielding section or just beyond
you may find a slightly raised area. This is the G spot. It might
not be raised, but it will engorge once your female starts to
come.
Don't poke this spot yet. Don't do anything with it, yet. At best
you won't have any effect, and at worst you'll be distracting.
You've got to wait for your female to start to come. Now this
might happen in thirty seconds, or it might take an hour, and
you've just got to be patient and keep things regular and smooth.
You'll be able to tell your woman is coming when:
- she tells you
- she moans one hell of a lot and her breathing changes
- she flushes, over her face, neck and/or chest
- her vagina begins to flutter rhythmically around your finger
You may see all of these things, or you may see none of them. If
you miss an orgasm, don't stop unless you or she wants to. Women
have startling recuperative powers, particularly when they're
receiving the right level of attention, and generosity is its own
reward. Multiple orgasms are not mythical.
Once you believe that your woman is coming you should shift your
attention from the clitoris to the G spot. Keep up the same
rhythm, but use more pressure. You may want to keep some sort of
contact with the clitoris, but just as a penis becomes
supersensitive during orgasm, to the point of discomfort, so can
a clit.
As with the clitoris, you should pay attention to whether the
woman pushes towards you, draws away from you or just sits there
to gauge the amount of pressure you're giving. You probably won't
need to vary your speed much, but pay attention to what she says
she wants.
Now as you go at the G spot you'll find that your woman keeps
coming for longer than you've seen before. You may even
experience that most startling of sexual phenomena, a female
ejaculation. I've seen three of these (actually I got a
mouthful), but I can't say whether the fluid comes from the
vagina or the urethra. It's quite nice, sort of like salad
dressing. It's definitely not urine, and it is probably polite
and hopefully reciprocal to swallow it.
Keep going at that G spot. Eventually you will feel the vagina
draw away from your finger - it becomes bigger and the walls get
taut, and not form-fitting, sort of like a little cave. When it
does this it's time to switch back to the clitoris. Keep up the
same rhythm. When the vagina begins to contract on your finger
again, go back to the G spot.
If you keep this up for a while (and if the owner of your female
genitals wants to stop, then stop - this isn't a competition),
you'll find that the nature of the vaginal contractions changes.
The cave effect becomes less and less frequent and you can spend
more and more time with the G spot. Also, the contractions in the
vagina become less simple squeezing and fluttering, and more a
sort of reverse swallowing - a contraction that starts deep
within the vagina and travels to its entrance. It feels a bit
like the vagina is trying to push your finger out. Eventually
(may take hours and patience and many tries) you've got nothing
but these push-out contractions, and you can go on as long as the
owner of the genitals wants to, and your tongue and fingers don't
wear out. If you go on this long you're almost certainly going to
need some extra lubricant, so be prepared.
There you have it. At least in my experience, women can have
orgasms that last orders of magnitude longer and seem to be much
better than those that men can have. I guess I better add a
disclaimer that all of this is only one man's experience, and I
could be completely wrong about the female genitals that you
have. I'm not certain there is such a thing as device
independence where sexual equipment is concerned. I don't think
that any of the things I've advocated can do you any harm, but
see your doctor if you've doubts. The main thing is to have fun.
Happy fucking.
THIRD ARTICLE (for those who prefer a more scientific approach)
From: N51LS801@ncsuvm.cc.ncsu.edu
Message-ID: <167B7BB6F.N51LS801@ncsuvm.cc.ncsu.edu>
Date: 27 Mar 92 18:19:42 GMT
The following information about female ejaculation and the
Grafenberg spot is quoted from a widely used, frequently revised
college text on human sexuality: Robert Crooks and Karla Baur,
OUR SEXUALITY, 4th ed. (Redwood City, CA: Benjamin/Cummings Pub.
Co., 1990), 117, 206-208. [HQ21.C698 1990] Cited references are
given at the end of the selection.
The Grafenberg spot is an area located within the anterior (or
front) wall of the vagina, about one centimetre from the surface
and one-third to one-half way in from the vaginal opening. It is
reported to consist of a system of glands (Skene's glands) and
ducts that surround the urethra (Heath, 1984). This area is
believed to be the female counterpart of the male prostate gland
and to develop from the same embryonic tissue (Belzer, 1981;
Heath, 1984).
The Grafenberg spot has generated considerable interest because
of reports that some women experience sexual arousal, orgasm, or
perhaps an ejaculation of fluid when stimulated there. There is
wide variation in response from person to person (Zaviacic et
al., 1988). (117)
In the last few years, a number of studies have reported that
some women are capable of experiencing orgasm, and perhaps
ejaculation, when an area along the anterior wall of the vagina
is vigorously stimulated (Addiego et al., 1981; Alzate & Hoch,
1986; Belzer, 1981; Perry & Whipple, 1981; Sevely & Bennet, 1978;
Whipple & Komisaruk, 1988; Zaviacic et al., 1988). This area of
erotic sensitivity... has been named the Grafenberg spot (or G
spot) in honor of Ernest Grafenberg (1950), a gynecologist who
first noted the erotic significance of this location within the
vagina 40 years ago. However, the presence of glandular
structures in this area was noted in the medical literature over
100 years ago (Skene, 1880). Recently, it has been suggested that
the Grafenberg spot is not a point that can be touched by the tip
of one finger but, rather, fairly large area composed of the
lower anterior wall of the vagina and the underlying urethra and
surrounding glands. Adequate stimulation of this much vaginal
tissue may require use of "the full breadth of the middle two
fingers and at least two thirds of their lengths" (Heath, 1984,
p. 205)
Robert Mallon (1984), a pathologist and medical researcher,
recently presented evidence of glandular material similar to
prostate tissue in the Grafenberg area of 42 females examined by
postmortem autopsies. Corroboration of this research was provided
by another study in which complete urethras and surrounding
tissue from 17 autopsied females and a portion of a urethra from
one surgical specimen were examined. Over 80% of the specimens
had prostatelike glandular tissue, the majority of which
contained substances known to be produced by the male prostate
(Heath, 1984).
The Grafenberg spot, or area, may be located by "systematic
palpation of the entire anterior wall of the vagina between the
posterior side of the pubic bone and the cervix. Two fingers are
usually employed, and it is often necessary to press deeply into
the tissue to reach the spot" (Perry & Whipple, 1981, p. 29).
This exploration may conducted by a woman's partner, as shown in
Figure 6.9 [Diagram omitted] Some women are able to locate their
Grafenberg spot through self-exploration. (206)
During initial searching for the sometimes elusive Grafenberg
spot, a woman or her partner must rely on the sensations produced
by manual stimulation. When the area is located, women report a
variety of initial sensations, including a slight feeling of
discomfort, a brief sensation of needing to urinate, or a
pleasurable feeling. After a minute or more of stroking the
sensations usually become more pleasurable, and the area may
begin to swell to a discernible size. Continued stimulation of
the area may result in an orgasm that is often quite intense.
Perhaps the most amazing thing about Grafenberg spot orgasms is
that they are sometimes accompanied by the ejaculation of fluid
from the urethral opening. Four researchers describe their
observation of this event:
[Begin quote] With the aid of the subject's husband, four of us
(Addiego, Belzer, Perry, and Whipple) were able to observe her
response to digital massage of her Grafenberg spot, which led to
expulsion of liquid, and reportedly and apparently to orgasm, on
several occasions. On none of these occasions did stimulation of
the clitoris, direct or otherwise, appear to occur. Orgasmic
expulsions occurred after less than a minute of stimulation; they
were separated in a multi- orgasmic series by similarly brief
periods of time. The urethral area was clearly exposed in bright
light, and there was absolutely no doubt that the liquid was
expelled from the urethral meatus. Sometimes it exuded from the
meatus. At other times it was expelled from one to a few
centimetres. On one observer occasion, expulsion was of
sufficient force to create a series of we spots covering a
distance of more than a meter. (Addiego et al., 1981, p. 17) [End
quote] (207)
Research indicates that the source of this fluid is the "female
prostate"... The ducts from this system empty directly into the
urethra. In some women Grafenberg orgasms result in fluid being
forced through these ducts and out the urethra. In view of the
homologous nature of the Grafenberg spot tissue and the male
prostate, we might speculate that the female ejaculate is similar
to the prostatic component of male seminal fluid. This notion has
been supported by one study in which specimens of female
ejaculate were chemically analyzed and found to contain high
levels of an enzyme, prostatic acid phosphatase (PAP),
characteristic of the prostatic component of semen (Addiego et
al., 1981).
Many women report that the fluid has a mild semenlike scent. A
later study of six female ejaculators failed to differentiate
samples of their urine and the fluid they ejaculated during
sexual response (Goldberg et al., 1983).
However, a still more recent study of seven women who ejaculate
reported that the collected urine and ejaculate samples differed
substantially in the amount of PAP present (Belzer et al., 1984).
The inconsistency in these findings may be due, at least in part,
to a methodological problem arising from the fact that both
ejaculate and urine are delivered through the urethra.
A very recent study reported finding concentrations of fructose
in the female ejaculate (Zaviacic et al., 1988b). (... fructose
is a major component of male ejaculate.) The fructose level in
the orgasmic expulsions of women is considerably higher than that
found in their urine, a finding that "suggests that the female
ejaculate cannot be simply regarded as urine..." (Zaviacic et
al., 1988b, p. 323). We can expect that the controversy over the
biochemistry of the female ejaculate will continue until,
hopefully, further research clarifies the precise nature of this
fluid. (208)
References cited:
Addiego, F. Belzer, E., Comolli, J., Moger, W., Perry, J. and
Whipple, B. (1981) Female ejaculation: A case study. JOURNAL OF
SEX RESEARCH, 17, 13-21.
Alzate, H. and Hoch, Z. (1986) The "G spot" and "female
ejaculation": A current appraisal. JOURNAL OF SEX AND MARITAL
THERAPY, 12, 211-220.
Belzer, E. Orgasmic expulsions of women: A review and heuristic
inquiry. JOURNAL OF SEX RESEARCH, 17, 1-12.
Goldberg, D., Whipple, B., Fishkin, R., Waxman, H., Fink, P. and
Weisberg, M. (1983) The Grafenberg spot and female ejaculation: A
review of initial hypotheses. JOURNAL OF SEX AND MARITAL THERAPY,
9, 27-37.
Heath, D. An investigation into the origins of a copious vaginal
discharge during intercourse -"enough to wet the bed"-that "is
not urine." JOURNAL OF SEX RESEARCH, 20, 194-215.
Mallon, R. (Oct. 1984) Demonstration of vestigial prostatic
tissue in the human female. Paper presented at the Annual
Regional Conference of American Association of Sex Educators,
Counsellors, and Therapists, Las Vegas.
Perry, J. and Whipple, B. (1981) Pelvic muscle strength of female
ejaculators: Evidence in support of a new theory of orgasm.
JOURNAL OF SEX RESEARCH, 17, 22-39.
Sevely, J. and Bennett, J. (1979) Concerning female ejaculation
and the female prostate. JOURNAL OF SEX RESEARCH, 14, 1-20.
Skene, A. (1880) Two important glands of the urethra. AMERICAN
JOURNAL OF OBSTETRICS, 265, 265-270.
Whipple, B. and Komisaruk, B. (1988) Analgesia produced in women
by genital self-stimulation. JOURNAL OF SEX RESEARCH, 24, 130-
140.
Zaviacic, M., Zaviacicova, A., Holoman, I., and Molcan, J.
(1988a) Female urethral expulsions evoked by local digital
stimulation of the G-spot: Differences in the response patterns.
JOURNAL OF SEX RESEARCH, 24, 311-318.
Zaviacic, M., Dolezalova, S., Holoman, K., Zaviacicova, A.,
Mikulecky, M., and Bradil, V. (1988b) Concentrations of fructose
in female ejaculate and urine: A comparative biochemical study.
JOURNAL OF SEX RESEARCH, 24, 319-325.
---------------------------------------
c3-10. How can females ejaculate? (read c3-9 for related
G-spot info)
From "Christopher K. Howard " <U32682@UICVM.UIC.EDU>
Date: 4 March 1992 11:00:27 CST
I have recently come across an very interesting short film of 15
minute length and is entitled "Nice Girls Don't Do It" by K
Daymond. It is a documentary styled film which discusses what it
is how it is done and then gives directions of "how to do it"
The remaining text is printed without permission
Female ejaculation, once thought to be normal and a pleasurable
part of female sexuality came to be a symptom of the hysteric,
the content of male fantasy, and the property of pornographic
woman.
To accept female ejaculation one has to accept sameness and the
equality of male and female bodies.
Both male and female bodies have prostate gland structures along
the floor of the urethra and have potential to ejaculate fluids
during sexual stimulation.
The female body, can ejaculate fluid from 31 ducts, can with
stimulation, ejaculate repeatedly; and as well, can enjoy a
plurality of genital pleasure sites; the clitoris, urethra,
vagina...
Female ejaculation can serve only one purpose: Pleasure
The film contains scenes which show or describe the following:
- hot sticky fluids very fluid in nature (looks like urine
IMHO)
- female ejaculation is so much more powerful that it
belittles what we have always seen to be powerful in man.
- visible pushing of vagina and urethra through vaginal
orifice.
- forces man's penis out to ejaculate.
- shows scenes of woman in self bondage
- 40% of all women ejaculate
- no high content of urine, contains prostate gland fluid
(IMHO the color is wrong it is clear where it would need to
be opaque)
The following has been printed without permission:
Directions on how to ejaculate:
STEP ONE:
Find the muscle and spongy tissue around that part of your
urethra that is inside your vagina. It is about half a finger
(more or less) inside your vagina and about a finger long
across-- about two inches. If the muscles that go around your
vagina have not been used much, they can be built up by doing
contractions: pressing the top of your vagina against the bottom
and releasing. This is fun and you could have an orgasm or two.
DON'T WORRY: Strong muscles will not hold the penis in place;
they will push it out when your ducts get full and you want to
shoot.
STEP TWO:
Take two or three fingers and rub them against the part of your
urethra inside your vagina. Press hard and notice the feeling of
having to pee. You don't - this is the signal that you are ready
to ejaculate. Now, place the middle finger slightly below the
external part of your urethra and begin to masturbate the same
way you rub your clit. As you are doing this you will notice that
the two ducts, one at each side of your urethra, feel full and
perhaps somewhat painful: you have another 29 ducts scattered
over the top of your vagina. They are located in a pyramid from
your clit to just above your ovaries. Once you get into the body
feeling you will be able to locate them on the lower abdomen.
(sounds like the urinary bladder IMHO)
STEP THREE:
Take your other hand and press down on one or more of the ducts
from the outside. Push your urethra out and push the way you do
when you pee. Liquid will come out -- perhaps in a steady stream
or jet.
My Summary:
This seems to be a form of propaganda to make it a way for women
to do the same thing as a man can do. I have dissected and
studied human anatomy and there is no way this much fluid can
come from anywhere but the urinary bladder. Plus during this film
there is a tremendous amount of man bashing. Since I have posted
these instructions I invite any woman to try it and report
back!!! I am from Missouri "SHOW ME"
The summary is strictly my opinion, responses can be directed to
me.
Carlos
Subject: women who squirt
Date: 1 Apr 92 05:51:00 GMT
Organization: Carnegie Mellon, Pittsburgh, PA
Female ejaculation does not require direct g-spot stimulation.
A few days ago, I read a summary of research concerning the
g-spot and female ejaculation. The summary described the location
and activity of the g-spot, stressing that stimulation of the
spot required at least two fingers, quite far in, against the
anterior wall of the vagina.
It talked about female ejaculation as if it were a direct
consequence of hands-on stimulation of the g-spot.
Interestingly enough, two days after reading all that, I had the
privilege of observing a woman ejaculate. As in other reports,
this was in the form of a pearly liquid squirted out of the
vagina (travelling a centimetre or two) at the onset of an
orgasm. For what it's worth, the ejaculate tasted saltier than
the normal slippery stuff. Also, it left a strange aftertaste in
the back of my throat that was very similar to what I've observed
of male ejaculate.
The woman reported a much more intense orgasm than usual, but
wasn't immediately aware that she had ejaculated.
The reason I am posting about this experience (aside from the
opportunity to brag ;-) is that it differed from published
reports in an interesting way: no direct stimulation of the
g-spot was involved. In fact, no penetration at all was involved:
stimulation of the clitoris and entrance to the vagina and
previously, the nipples brought the ejaculation on. Others who
are not into penetration might want to keep this in mind, though
I don't think i can offer a formula for ejaculation as the
scientists seem to.
By way of idle speculation, I have started to wonder how much
conditioning goes into sexual response. Currently, we see men as
easy to bring off and uniquely capable of ejaculation. Since
women are apparently also capable of ejaculation, it is not
obvious that the common view is at all justified. Perhaps if
female children were taught as much as males to expect to
ejaculate, they would acquire this ability while learning to
masturbate.
---------------------------------------
c3-11. What about Oral/vaginal sex during a woman's period?
What about it? For oral sex, this is a taste/smell issue; some
people like it, some people don't. If both partners have no
objections, go for it! I know women for whom orgasm is a
wonderful reliever of cramps.
As for vaginal sex, well, you need less lubricant. It's messy;
use something (perhaps a red towel) to protect the bedsheets. Or
do it in the shower, get clean and dirty at the same time!
---------------------------------------
c3-12. What percent of men and women masturbate? and at what
frequency?
According to Masters and Johnson in their book 'On Sex and Human
Loving' third printing, page 295:
Data about masturbation are a bit tricky to interpret. You
may recall that Kinsey and his colleagues found a wide
discrepancy in the incidence of masturbation between male
and female adolescents, but some recent studies suggest that
this difference may be narrowing (see chapter 6). A similar
trend may also be occurring in regard to masturbatory
behavior in adulthood.
The kinsey reports stated that 92 percent of the males and
62 percent of the females queried had masturbated at least
once in their lives. More recently, two separate studies
came up with very similar statistics: The _Playboy_ survey
(Hunt, 1975) found that 94 percent of 982 males and 63
percent of 1,044 adult females had masturbated, and Arafat
and Cotton's study (1974) of 435 college students found
masturbatory experience in 89 percent of males and 61
percent of females.
However, Levin and Levin (1975), summarizing data from a
_Redbook_ questionnaire survey answered by 100,000 women,
found that almost three-quarters of the married women had
masturbated since marriage. Providing additional evidence
that more women seem to have tried masturbation today than
in the past decades, Hite reported that 82 percent of her
sample of 3,000 women had masturbatory experience.
For more details and speculations as to why the rise, techniques
used, frequency, etc -- buy the book.
---------------------------------------
c3-13. What's the average length and width penis?
From: klaus@diku.dk (Klaus Ole Kristiansen)
Date: 16 Sep 91 07:49:09 GMT
According to the book Mandens Krop (which is translated from
English, but does not give the original title) the average is
15cm and 90% are between 13 and 18cm.
The records for a fully functional penis are 1.5 and 30cm.
-----
Source: "Race Differences in Behaviour: A Review and Evolutionary
Analysis" by J. Philippe Rushton, Dept. of Psychology, University
of Western Ontario, London, Ontario, Canada N6A 5C2 in "Journal
of Personality and Individual Differences" Vol. 9, No. 6,
1009-1024, 1988.
According to a paper by J. Philippe Rushton, the average size for
erect penises is:
Group Length Diameter
Orientals 4 - 5.5" 1.25"
Caucasians 5.5 - 6" 1.3 - 1.6"
Blacks 6.25 - 8" 2"
Clitoral lengths:
Europeans 1.2"
Africans 2".
---------------------------------------
From: superdj@cs.mcgill.ca (David JOHNSON)
Newsgroups: alt.sex.wizards,news.answers
Subject: [alt.sex.wizards] FAQ (3/4)
Summary: frequently asked questions for alt.sex.wizards
Message-ID: <1992Dec1.235821.6187@cs.mcgill.ca>
Date: 1 Dec 92 23:58:21 GMT
Organization: SOCS - Mcgill University, Montreal, Canada
Lines: 1094
Archive-name: alt-sex/wizards-faq/part3
Last-modified: 1 Dec 1992
c3-14. What can one do about premature ejaculation?
From "Human Sexuality" a brief edition by James Leslie McCary. D.
Van Nostrand Company, Copyright 1973, ISBN 0-442-25236-6
The Treatment of Premature Ejaculation
Given the cooperation of his lover, a man can train himself
(except when the cause is purely physical) to withhold orgasm
until both want it to happen. The main enemy is the fear and
anxiety engendered in the man by previous failures. Once he gains
confidence in his "staying power" and accepts the fact that all
men face the problem at one time or another, the battle is half
won. To assist him toward confidence in his abilities, several
routes can be taken.
Some counsellors recommend that a local anesthetic (for example,
Nupercainal) be applied to the penile glans--care being taken not
to smear any of the ointment on the woman's vulva--a few minutes
before the beginning of intercourse. The assumption is that the
deadening effect will decrease the sensitivity of the penis and
delay ejaculation. Others prescribe the wearing of one or more
condoms to reduce the stimulation generated by the friction of
intercourse and the warmth and moisture within the vagina. Since
muscular tension is a notorious catalyst in ejaculation,
premature ejaculation may be prevented by the man's lying beneath
the woman and thus taking a more passive role in coitus. (Sexual
intercourse in the cramped confines of an automobile is
unsatisfactory for many reasons, one of which is that it often
creates muscular tension that terminates in early ejaculation.)
Some men also find that taking a drink just before coitus helps,
since alcohol is a deterrent in all physiological functioning.
Other men claim similar success through concentrating on
singularly unsexy thoughts, such as their income tax payments.
(It is suggested, however, that these men take care not to let
their partners know of their diversionary thoughts, lest they be
dumped from the bed before ejaculation, premature or otherwise!)
Having an orgasm and, after a short rest, attaining another
erection often permit a man to experience a more prolonged act of
coitus the second time. Some men masturbate shortly before they
expect to have sexual intercourse; because their sex drive will
thereby be decreased, they can then prolong intercourse later.
The technique of delaying the man's orgasm can be learned, and
probably the best method is one requiring the cooperation of both
the man and his sex partner. The best chance of success lies in
both partners' consulting a psychotherapist who will, first of
all, assure the couple that premature or early ejaculation is a
reversible phenomenon. The couple will then be instructed in the
somewhat complicated technique of bringing about the reversal of
premature ejaculation.
The technique requires that the woman manually stimulate her
partners' genitals until the point that he feels the very
earliest signs of "ejaculatory inevitability." (This is the stage
of a man's orgasmic experience at which he feels ejaculation of
seminal fluid coming, and can no longer control it.) At that
moment he signal the woman with such a pre-agreed word as "now",
and she immediately ceases her massage of the penis. She then
quickly squeezes its glans, or head, by placing her thumb on the
frenulum (on the lower surface of the glans) and two fingers on
the top of the glans, applying rather strong pressure for 3 or 4
seconds. The pressure will be uncomfortable enough to cause the
man to lose the urge to ejaculate. Such "training sessions"
should continue for 15 to 20 minutes, with alternating periods of
sexual stimulation and squeezing.
In later sessions, the man inserts his penis in the woman's
vagina as she sits astride him until he senses impending orgasm,
at which point he withdraws and she once more squeezes the penis
to stop ejaculation. Use of these techniques is continued un
further sexual encounters until, progressively, the man is
capable of prolonged sexual intercourse, in any position, without
ejaculating sooner than he wishes.
Two notes of caution should be sounded to those using this
technique. First, the technique will be unavailing if the man
himself applies the pressure to his penis; and, second, the
couple must not treat this newfound sexual skill as a game and
overdo it. If the technique is overused, the man may eventually
find that he has become insensitive to the stimulation and unable
to respond to it. He may then develop new fears, this time about
his potency, and risk developing secondary impotence. The
guidance of a therapist is strongly recommended in the treatment
of premature ejaculation to prevent such secondary problems.
Masters and Johnson report a 97.8% success rate in the treatment
of premature ejaculation.
In any discussion of premature ejaculation, a word of caution
must be injected. It is important to understand that at any one
time or another almost every man has experienced ejaculation more
swiftly than he or his partner would have liked. The essential
thing is that the man not became anxious over possible future
failures. Otherwise what is a normal, situational occurrence may
become a chronic problem.
---------------------------------------
c3-15. Is it possible for men to be multi-orgasmic?
From: sawyer@hubble..westford.ccur.com (George Sawyer)
Keywords: NEMO, Taoist Yoga, Sexual techniques
Message-ID: <62486@masscomp.westford.ccur.com>
Date: 4 Nov 91 16:49:14 GMT
The following is a modified repost of my answer to "Postie's
query"
I study and teach Taoist esoteric yoga, and among the practices
are sexual techniques which are VERY EFFECTIVE. There are solo
techniques, and partner techniques. They require ongoing practice
and, for men, realistically speaking, the partner techniques
require a practising partner.
A basic concept is that you can have an orgasm without
ejaculating. Since ejaculation takes you through the refractory
period & etc. cycle as well as emptying your fluid level, it
tends to limit activity. Remove this constraint and you can go on
as long as you want. (Have as many orgasms as you want). When you
get close to the point of ejaculatory inevitability, you perform
the techniques, which pull the sexual energy out of your testes /
prostate up to your brain & compress the prostate causing partial
loss of erection & subsiding of prostate. When the energy moves
upward, you have an non-ejaculatory orgasm.
The only way I can describe the orgasm experience is to compare
it to some types of psychedelic drug experiences - except that
you are in control and can stop immediately if you want. The more
you practice, the longer and stronger the effects are. An orgasm
of 5 to 10 minutes is "quite easy" and you can become able to
have one of more than an hour with "determined practice". About
an hour twenty minutes is my personal best (from solo practice at
that) and I made it stop because I was getting too high.
You tend to rest for a few or several minutes after each orgasm,
being with your partner, and then optionally doing it again. Use
lots of lubricant.
There are different levels of orgasm, the initial one being a
"senses" orgasm, in which you experience amplified pleasure from
all your senses simultaneously. Since this includes touch, it is
a bodywide experience. An "unexpected" benefit for men is that
you will always have more energy after sex than before, thus
dramatically reducing the "roll off and snore" syndrome. Also,
after sex you will feel much closer to your partner and much more
connected than prior. Many people have intense experiences of
total connection and submersion into each other.
It is also a First Class system for being celibate. Completely
eliminates wet dreams, and gives you a fair amount of choice
about whether to allow yourself to become aroused or not. Over
the long term you develop some degree of control over your sexual
desire in general. Feels great (even the non-aroused solo
practice), and doesn't require "struggle and effort". The
non-aroused solo practices are being done by individuals in many
Christian monasteries & nunneries in Europe.
Downsides. NOT TO BE IGNORED
For men, it only really works if your partner practices too.
Otherwise they get BORED watching you have extended orgasms while
they wait.
Initially, it is QUITE DIFFICULT not to ejaculate, and you will
need cooperation from your partner at the WORST possible times -
"I need to stop NOW!".
It does not work well with promiscuity.
It takes time to learn - I'll say an average of 6 months to
beginning of competence and control, and requires 15min to 30min
per day of various meditative practices.
Realistically, most people don't stick to it long enough to be
able to do it. Success rate among persistent people is very high,
and the practices are not difficult.
Some women find it really weird if you don't ejaculate, and you
can really fuck up your relationship/marriage if you don't take
care of your significant other first and foremost. That is far
more important than mastery of sex techniques.
These techniques are not part of a religion, no Deities to
believe in, no statues, none of that.
The techniques are described quite clearly in:
"Taoist Secrets of Love: Cultivating Male sexual energy" (men's)
"Healing Love thru the Tao: Cultivating Female sexual energy"
(women's)
Both are written by Mantak and Manewan Chia, and widely available
at New Age bookstores.
The pre-requisite is: "Awakening Healing Energy Thru the Tao"
Most people find these reference books a bit much, and take one
day courses. There are about 70 instructors in the USA, you can
find the nearest one by calling the Healing Tao center @ (516)
367-2701. Classes are about $85, and there is a pre-requisite
course "The Microcosmic Orbit" which is also about $85.
DO NOT IGNORE THE SAFETY POINTS IN THE BOOKS
Happy practice!
---------------------------------------
c3-16. What are Kegel exercises?
How can one increase the force of ejaculation?
From: sesharp@happy.colorado.edu
Message-ID: <1991Oct5.231811.1@happy.colorado.edu>
Date: 6 Oct 91 05:18:11 GMT
Kegel exercises (pronounced "Kay-gill", in case you ever actually
have a conversation about them) were invented to give women
better bladder control. They have a number of useful advantages
in sex. In women, they can help tighten the vagina, particularly
after childbirth. The muscles can also be used deliberately
during intercourse to stimulate her partner. They have a variety
of uses for men. As I already mentioned, they strengthen the
muscles used in seminal retention, making that technique more
effective. They can make ejaculation more powerful. This may
increase male enjoyment somewhat and female enjoyment if she is
sensitive to it. Deliberate twitches during intercourse are also
useful for males. Knowing how to force relaxation of the muscles
can help maintain control and prevent premature ejaculation, as
well as relieving the muscle cramps that can occur from too many
ejaculations in succession.
For females:
My recollection of the exercise regimen taken from the older ESO
book is as follows. First you have to identify the PC muscles and
get them under conscious control. Starting and stopping urination
is one method. Inserting a finger into the vagina to feel the
contractions or watching the movement of the erect penis is
another. Once it is under control, there are three kinds of
exercises. The first is to clench the muscle and hold it for two
seconds before releasing it. The second is to bear down as though
constipated, using the abdominal muscles to force the PC muscles
to relax. I find that alternating reps of these two works well.
The third exercise is a fast twitch of the muscle, with
repetitions as close together as possible, similar to orgasmic
contractions. An initial set of exercises consists of 10
repetitions of each exercise. Five sets should be performed in a
day. As strength improves, the number of repetitions in a set is
increased. Around 30 repetitions in a set is suggested as a good
number for retaining good muscle tone. The exercises are
unobtrusive and can be performed almost anywhere.
For males:
Kegel exercises might indeed help with [increasing the force of
ejaculation]. Here is how they are performed by males. First you
have to learn to consciously control the muscles. One way of
doing this is to use them to stop and start urination repeatedly.
When you have an erection, contracting them causes it to move,
making them easy to identify. Once you have the muscles
identified, there are three types of exercises to do:
1) try contracting the muscles and holding them that way for a
slow count of ten. You may not be able to last that long at
first, but that is why you are exercising.
2) force them to relax by bearing down as though you were
constipated and trying to force a bowel movement.
3) twitch (contract and release) the muscles as fast as you can
ten times in a row. I find that it works well to alternate
each of the first type with one of the second type. I don't
recall how many of these are recommended. Something like ten
of each to start, eventually working up to a hundred.
In addition to the possibility of increasing the force of
ejaculation, these may increase the number of contractions and
the total enjoyment. The same muscles can also be used to reduce
the amount of semen in an ejaculation by contracting them as hard
as possible during it. This leaves a less than satisfied feeling,
usually accompanied by an urgent desire for another orgasm 10 to
20 minutes later. This can be useful if your partner wants more
sex than you do. Supposedly, increasing the strength of the
muscles can increase this effect to allow quite a few orgasms in
a row.
---------------------------------------
c3-17. What are some good positions to try out?
The Teachings of Kama Sutra:
(See Appendix 3. The list is long enough to warrant its own
section.)
From the net (* indicates beginning of a new post):