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[]The Brady Bunch[]
by Dick Cheese
and Stu
The Brady Bunch was a really great
tv show in the swinging 70's. Yet, its
ramifications have been sorely mis-
calculated. For example, how many of
you know that the episode in which
Marsha didn't want to go to school was
the main influence upon the outcome of
the 1980 Presidental Election? And how
many of you still remember the day in
1977 in which tree houses above 30'
were outlawed after the airing of the
episode in which Bobby fell from a
perilous climb? Well, the Brady Bunch
has had such a profound influence upon
Stu and me that we wish to do it
justice in this G file. Oh yea, for
your information, this system is being
run in an architecht's den that was
converted to a psychedelic 'pad'. The
decision to do this was result of
the rerun of the episode in which Greg
converted Mike's den into his own
swingin' crash pad.
One of our favorite episodes is the
one in which Bobby tries to win some
sort of prize, and eventually gets on
the hip program "Kartoon King!" This is
an avant-gard show, for it really lets
us probe the inner recesses of Bobby
Brady's psyche. We like the scene in
which the fat kid, like the slovenly
pig he is, eats the ice cream first,
and we are left with a shot of a
crushed and humiliated Bobby with ice
cream on his nose. Hilarous!
The scene could have been inproved,
says Stu, if Kartoon King said some-
thing to Bobby like, "Hey kid. Looks
like your parents got stuck with a
2 timing jerk and a 3 time loser for
a son!" Then two strongarms would
clap his ears and dump sludge down the
seat of his pants.
Dick Cheese and Stu now present some
opinions on various episodes of The
Brady Bunch:
1] The episode in which Greg falls in
love with his teacher.
Dick: Loved it! But the teacher should
have had REAL big tits!
Stu: A S&M scene would have made it a
perfect show!
2] The episode that has Cindy thinking
she was going to be the new Shirley
Temple.
Dick: Super! I wouldn't change a thing!
Stu: And how!
3] The episode in which Marsha holds a slumber party.
Dick: A good show, but lacking one
particular element. The element was
realism. The itching powder gag was
a good concept, but it never really
got off the ground. This episode must
have been written during a writers
strike.
Stu: I agree, but a lesbian scene
would have been nice.
4] The episode in which Bobby had a
greater pull-up ratio than Greg, so
Greg became the first white slave.
Dick: The original "underdog" story.
Bobby, being the "underdog" and Greg
being the "heavy". Rocky, The Karate
Kid, Vision Quest are all dispace-
ments of this superb story.
Stu: It had me cheering, but I think
that if Bobby did soooo many pull-ups,
his forearms should have looked like
Popey's in the next episode.
5] The show which had the Brady's
become a musical group.
Dick: This one had me dancing in my
seat! The Brady's were nothing short
of superb! I call them the Jackson's of
the 70's!
Stu: The music community lost a great
talent when the Brady kids stuck with
tv, and eventually saw their carreers
go down the toilet.
6] The show in which the Brady family
took a family trip to the Grand
Canyon.
Dick: The best miniseries I've ever
seen, except the reason this one
didn't win the Emmy was the scene in
which Bobby and Cindy gave baked beans
to a little indian lad in a flashlight.
Let's be serious folks, how many of
you would eat baked beans out of a
flashlight. You know the acid residue
woudl have given the boy some sort of
gastric disorders. Poor planning on
behalf of the writers guild. One could
easily mistake this scene for Bobby
and Cindy just trying to harm the
minority member. Some might mistake
this for a racial slur. Thought that
the scene in which they all tied
articles of clothing together to get
the keys was very novel!
Stu: I agree, but I don't think you
have really scratched the surface on
Alice's role in this show. Alice, off
camera, made a sick joke in which she
called the indian boy a "sad excuse
for the human." Perhaps this is the
answer to the great mystery: Why was
Ann B. Davis removed from the show
mid-season and to be replaced with a
robot, never to be seen again. The
Alice/Sam the butcher motif creeps up
here.
This will be discussed in part //...
Dick Cheese Stu