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=======================> GET ROMANCE.GURPS
Getting File: SERVER:[GRASS]ROMANCE.GURPS;2
GURPS Romance
by
Paul Beakley <ADPYB@ASUACVAX.BITNET>
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Disclaimer: GURPS Romance is a satire. It has not been approved by SJG
games or by Barbara Cartland.
So it's time to pack away all those expensive GURPS supplements and drop
by your local used bookstore. Buy used Romances by the cubic yard.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
World Settings
Historic Romance (ca. 100 pts.): this is the era of knights
in shining armor, damsels in distress and dark, mysterious
men from faraway lands. It's also White Woman Gets Lost in
Colonial America and Meets Indian Hunk Who Looks Like Fabio
With Black Hair. These campaigns can run either with or
without magic (see new magic rules below). Standard Plot:
Rich man attracted to young, low class girl. His parent's
won't allow him to pursue her, so she masquerades as upper
class. Secret is revealed, he loses his standing and joins
true love forever after.
Characters: Indian Brave (or Squaw), Colonist (female or
male), Prince(ss), Rogue, Landed Noble, Peasant Girl/Boy,
Clergyman, Explorer, Slave Boy/Girl, Nun, Mountain Man
Prime-Time Soaps (150-250 pts.): high fashion, big bucks and
interwoven secrets are the order of the day. Everybody is
rich (they have to be, since all they do is scheme and jump
from bed to bed), beautiful (to make up for their poor moral
fiber), and very cosmopolitan (to provide exotic settings).
Standard Plot: too convoluted to be outlined. Lots of
improvisation. Usually involves women using sex for money,
rich men using women for sex, everybody using sex for
something other than pleasure.
Characters: Independently Wealthy Person, Advertising
Executive, CEO (Generic), Fashion Designer, Test Pilot,
Politician, Movie/Rock Star, Entrepreneur (generic), Crime
Lord, Professional Athelete, Renowned Artist, Model, Doctor
Paperback Porn (cinematic campaign): none of that "Christian
Romance" crap here; this is the Silhouette "Red Label" brand
of housewife pornography. It's graphic, but not raw.
Sensual, but not decadent. Standard Plot: fantastically
incredible woman seeks out man that is good enough for her.
Lots of sex in great locations, lots of NPC men used and
abused along the way.
Characters: as Prime Time Soaps, but with cinematic rules
(see below).
Paperback Porn Variant -- Filmed by the Mafia game, in which
everybody is a lounge lizard, "pro", bored housewife or
lucky stud. The action is fast and furious, with a minimum
of plot to get in the way. Standard plot: woman (usually
previously involved) has unsatisfying sex life, seeks
several young hunks to experiment with like she never could
before.
Characters: Film Producer, Prostitute (male or female),
Innocent Bystander, Hitchhiker, Housewife, Jailbait, Eternal
Bride, Biker, the Boss, Boss' Secretary, Naughty Nurse,
Playful Pirate
Campaign Rating:
G through XXX, the campaign must maintain strict guidelines in
which to play. At the beginning of the game, the GM must clearly
state to all players at what rating the game will be played.
G: fairy tales, cartoons (except Japanimation, see below).
See "Beauty and the Beast."
PG: teen/young adult romances. Most television is PG or
PG-13. See: Sweet Valley High, 90210, etc.
PG-13: as above, with additional occasional swear words.
Some brief forays into non-heterosexual relationships, some
cross-racial relationships. See thirtysomething, Dallas,
Falcon Crest.
R: No apparent difference from NC-17, below. Less sex,
perhaps, or maybe just more violence with less sex. Lots of
swear words. Most "bestsellers" are rated R.
NC-17: anatomical detail, some explicit description of
various acts. Highest possible rating for Prime Time Soaps-
level game.
X: explanation of specific acts, with an emphasis on
anatomical details. Lots of sound effects and a crappy
soundtrack a must. Also any Japanimation flix like Cream
Lemon: very graphic but "only cartoons."
XXX: fetishistic closeups. Every splat, dribble and gush is
labored over by the GM.
Advantages, Realistic
Animal Empathy: good advantage if your character has the
disadvantage Sexual Deviant (bestiality). See below.
Appearance: essential to a proper Romance; see Descriptive
Advantages below
Bisexual: advantage only if female -- disadvantage if male!
Charisma: especially useful if you don't have any
Descriptive Advantages to rely on. Buy enough Charisma
and you might end up with a Psychic Luv Wave (below).
Double Jointed: +1 to all Acrobatic rolls related to Erotic
Arts (below)
Empathy: So you can tell if he/she is really in love, or
just toying with your emotions.
High Pain Threshold: hmmm...
Immune to Disease: Specifically, social diseases, 'cause
nobody wants a fella with a social disease.
Infertile: (unless it's vital to the "plot" to live happily
ever after and squirt out dozens of spawn off-screen).
Luck: gotta have it. Special limitation: lucky only while
being seductive. A complete clutz otherwise. 8/level.
Voice: be sure to describe it as "husky" or "strong and
reassuring" for male characters, "breathy" or "liquid" for
female characters. Descriptive Advantage: alluring foreign
accent (skill in the language itself not necessary)
Descriptive Advantages
5 points per advantage, each of which confers a +1 reaction
with the target demographic (opposite -- or same -- sex, as
defined by the player)
Hair (long, flowing, golden, fiery red, jet black)
Eyes (deep, piercing, soulful, sad)
Special cinematic advantage: Bedroom Eyes: +1 to all
Hypnosis and Sex Appeal rolls.
Body Parts (heaving bosom, manly chest, long legs, tight
butt)
Demeanor (sultry, vivacious, mysterious, intense, radiant,
rugged, sensitive, strong-but-silent, macho, bitchy)
Descriptive quirks -- anything not worth a measurable
reaction bonus, but good to throw out during an interaction
for character points later. Examples might include Luscious
Red Lips, Always Wears Stiletto Heels With Fishnet
Stockings, Pierced Nipple(s)
Advantages, Cinematic
Alcohol-proof/Drug-Proof: No matter how hard you abuse
your body, you never pay for it in the morning. Drink like a
fish, snort tons of coke at parties, you just get more
incredible. Disadvantage: Delusion that you believe you get
more incredible on booze and drugs.
Delicate Constitution: faint at will, especially at the
sight of mice or blood, or during confrontations or other
emotionally difficult times. Double value for male PCs.
Enlarged appendages (specifically tongue & penis).
Enhancement: variable at will (i.e. "Stretching").
Extra Fatigue: useful both for straight sex as well as the
endurance required to withstand the moronic plots demanded
of the characters in a Romance game.
Full Coordination: per Supers/Aliens, but applied toward
Erotic Arts, below. Provides for multiple "actions" per
turn, against single or multiple "targets" (wink wink, nudge
nudge).
Hair/Makeup Always Perfect: out of bed, out of the pool,
on a wind-blown mountainside, you always look like you
"just stepped out of a salon."
Permanent Tan:
"Psychic Luv Wave" (pronounced "Sahkik LOOV Wave"):
Inexplicably, the opposite sex is sexually attracted to you.
No matter how gross you may act & look, you never have a
problem finding a partner. Ever.
Limitation: Always On (-5 pts.): you attract the female
bus driver, the lady behind the donut counter, and so
on. For women, constantly hit upon by priests, male
relatives, bookish professors. Very inconvenient.
Trained by a Master: prerequisite for all cinematic "Erotic
Arts" maneuvers. Also allows impressive bragging rights.
Transsexual: sex organs of both sexes.
Disadvantages, Realistic
Addiction/Alcoholism: only completely debilitating
addictions are counted as "disadvantages" in a Romance
game.
Can't Commit: variation on "Cowardice". An emotional
child.
Compulsive Flirt: especially effective when combined with
Can't Commit (above)
Delusions: most popular is "believes penis has a name and
pursues independent motives."
Dependents: children, sick/insane relatives (also possibly
combined with Secret), beloved horse (see Equus or
Catherine the Great)
Disinherited: the Wealth advantage, except you can't get to
it without a long legal battle. Essentially the disadvantage
of "Poor" but can be bought off with character points.
Enemies: jealous ex-lovers, overprotective parents or
siblings, conniving relatives, secret psychotic admirer.
Fetishist: one particular body part, piece of clothing, or
other physical attribute. Basically a compulsive behavior.
Hopeless Romantic: constantly falling in love, and usually
with the wrong people. Essentially a compulsive behavior.
Impotent/Frigid: possibly also a Secret. However, some
Fetishists (see above) may actually be attracted to this
type.
Impulsive: actually conveys a +1 reaction to some women,
who just love a "crazy, impulsive fool."
Inhibited: character lives by a strict moral code which
prohibits him/her from some behavior.
Low social class:
Manic-Depressive:
Misogynist/Misandryst: specialized Intolerance targeted at
the opposite sex.
Narcissist: Character is more interested in him/herself, and
will, under normal circumstances, forego outside
relationships.
Obsession: an advanced form of "Fetishist," the Obsessed
character will do everything in his/her power to win the
love and affection of another.
Pregnant: also a good secret, if you're pregnant with your
secret lover's child. Or your uncle's.
Shyness: however, this may attract some interest from
suitors.
Secret: the staple of most Romances. The GM should
carefully combine all players' secrets into a complex web.
Ex. 1: waitress leads a double life, going out on the town
in her only beaded dress to meet her beau, a powerful oil
magnate. Her Secret, of course, is her plain-Jane waitress
life. What will happen should the man of her dreams find
out?
Ex. 2: secret multiple relationships. What happens if Jane
finds out about Matt's relationship to Mary, who's been
seeing George, who is too busy most nights with his gay
lover Randy to see her?
Ex. 3: Past Life: a special, complex kind of Secret,
involving old (but not forgotten) flames, crimes, unpaid
debts, and so on.
Sexual Deviant -- pedophile, sadist, bi/homosexual (male
only -- advantage if female), masochist, nymphomania
(actually an advantage in a cinematic campaign), bestiality.
Necrophilia, Gerbilphilia. Or, anything not heterosexual
(depending on the rating of the campaign, this can be a
highly variable disadvantage).
Social Disease: 'cause nobody wants a fella with a social
disease. (See upcoming GURPS West Side Story)
Uninhibited: a true hedonist, the character will try
ANYTHING at least once.
Disadvantages, Cinematic
Clumsy in Bed: watch out for those elbows and knees!
Excessive Body Hair: double value if female.
Poorly Endowed (Male: anything under 8", the "average";
female: anything less than 36" chest, again the "average")
Skills, Realistic
Erotic Arts (P/H, based on HT, defaults to Sex Appeal -4)
Maneuvers, Realistic: all maneuvers get a +2 if Acrobatics
12+.
Fellatio (+1 if Breath Control 12+).
Descriptive Advantage, Cinematic: Can suck
chrome from trailer hitch.
Cunnilingus (bonus as above)
Descriptive Advantage, Cinematic: Can lick
own eyebrows.
Pearl Jam
Exotic Knots
Discipline (based on Interrogation, or Intimidation)
Coprolalia (+1 if Linguistics 12+)
Masturbation, Male (additional Cinematic
specialization in "Doing the Chester,"
Jackhammer, Off-Hand Specialization)
Masturbation, Female (additional Cinematic
enhancement, "With Long Fingernails")
Sex Toy Mechanic
Fake Orgasms
Manuevers, Cinematic
Venus Butterfly (H) (based on Cunnilingus -2)
"The One Hour Orgasm"
Deep Throat (based on Fellatio -2)
Painless Anal Sex (yeah, right)
Convincing, Screaming Fake Orgasms
Animal Handling: see Animal Empathy above.
Bard: very important for delivering sweeping soliloquies,
proposing marriage, making death threats to Enemies, and
Final Confrontations.
Cooking: Always wins over the girls. "You mean he can
cook, too?" Additional specialization in Fine Wines and
French Cooking
Fast Talk: whatever it takes...
Hypnotism: Ditto.
Savoir-Faire: specialty, High Society
Sex Appeal: (duh)
Skills, Cinematic
Bodice Ripping
Meaning-laden Gestures/Body Language