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??06 Apr 86????????????????????_ROR_-_ALUCARD_????????????????????????? ??
? ? A ??
? The Wedding of the Wood Nymph & Raistlin ? ??
? Wedded on Peabody's Tomb A ??????
? Tfile ??
? Author: Shandor Distribution ??
????? Centere ??
? ? (Wood Nymph / Aka: Muffled Screams) - RoR - ??
? A ?_____________________________________________________________________??
? ? Shawn-Da-Lay Boy Productions, Inc.????????????????????????????????????
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???The?Pirates'?Hollow?-?415/236/2371??The?Electric?Pub?-?415/236/4380????
*@*@* Reading: Wedding
*---]]]]> (P)ause/(Q)uit <[[[[---*
As I approached the chapel, I knew that history was about to be made. Never
before had any adventurer actually pinned one of the elusive nymphs into
marriage. Nymphs are usually love em and leave 'em types.
Then I looked up and my thoughts were replaced with AWE. Before me, in the
fog, loomed THE CHURCH, carefully crafted of stone, wood, and metal, it
rose above the mist. Grinning stone gargoyles stared at me and then looked
away. Lightning flashed in the background, lighting the stained glass
windows momentarily, and giving the whole scene an eerie mood.
My swimfins plopped noisly on the wet ground, and I pushed my mask and
snorkel back onto my forehead.
Straightening my bowtie, and checking to see that my tux jacket and black
shorts were in order, I walked into the church's atrium. The doors to
the chapel stood open, and I peeked through before heading for the
dressing room.
Most of the wedding guests had arrived. Near the front, King Phillip and his
three loyal Nights sat decked in silk and jewels, swilling wine from golden
goblets. Allanon, Death Wish, Serper, and The Unnamable all looked quite
daper showing the late arrivals to seats while wearing black pants and
tux top t-shirts.
Walking around the back, I proceeded to the dressing rooms. There I found
Raistlin, dressing in his Black robes, and staring at the ceiling with his
hourglass eyes. "Well," said I, waking him from his reverie, "looks like the
big day is finally here. How did you ever decide to wed a nymph, anyway?"
"Ahh, it was the best choice I had," he replied, "Somebody who looks
youthful even through my eyes. Besides, I know where her tree is."
Music began to eminate from the walls.
"Well, this is it. All ready?"
"Yes, except for one thing. Have you got the ring?"
"Awww, how could I forget something like that?" I said, fishing in my
pocket. "It's right here.... somewhere"
There was a small flash in Raistlin's right hand and he chuckled, "Sorry, I
couldn't resist. Here you go." And he tossed me the ring. "Now, whatever
you do, don't put that on. It's specially enchanted, and I don't want
to be married to you, you know."
"Hey, no problem. Personally, I'd rather spend eternity in thrall to
a vampire."
We began our walk to the altar, and out of the corner of my eye, I caught
a glimpse of the nymph. AWOOOO!! I've never seen anybody wear bark and
leaves in quite that manner before, but I sure would like to see it again.
At the end of the walk, I saw Father Hawk, the minister. He had kind of an
etherial smile, but also had a look of "Well, God, what kind of joke are
You gonna play on me next." If you know what I mean.
Raistlin and I took our places, and looked back up the aisle. Cairo,
Chron, and Roach had begun their walk down the aisle, and I realized
that the music had changed just a bit.
I don't know if "Minnie the Moocher" it appropriate for most weddings, but it
seemed to fit perfectly in this case.
Donblas, Nymph's big brother, took her hand, and proceeded to walk down
the aisle with her to give her away in her father's absence. Whistles
came up from the crowd, but they were silenced quickly with stares from
both Father Hawkwind and Raistlin.
"Dearly beloved," began father Hawkwind, " we are gathered here today to
see this mage and this nymph wedded in holy matrimony.
And so on and so on....
"Do you Raistlin take Wood Nymph to be your lawfully wedded wife, to
honor and to charish, in sickness and health, for better or worse?
"And do you Wood Nymph take Raistlin to be your lawfully wedded husband
to honor and to charish, through sickness and health for better or for
worse?
A gleam came into Wood Nymph's eye. "Gee, I thought you'd never ask! Yes,
ok."
Raistlin looked up and said, "I dew, doo-doo, and do."
"So by the powers vested unto me by a case of acid indegestion and the
permanent state of insanity, I now pronounce you Mage and Nymph.
"What God hath joined, let no man put asunder.
"You may now kiss the bride.
"This is a reminder: I will be doing confessions afterwards and i will
be giving blessings.
Raistlin lifted Wood Nymph's leafy veil, and bent down to kiss her. Her arms
shot out and grabbed him around the neck, pulling him close. They kissed
passionately for a minute. Two minutes. Three minutes. Cmeras flashed,
and a little guy with a tweed jacket and a rumpled Fedora with a card
saying:
PRESS
Image Man
stuck in its band approached them to get a good closeup of Raistlin as he
gradually turned purple.
Finally, they broke their embrace, and amidst showers of rice and birth control
pills, they walked back up the aisle together.
Outside, the clouds had cleared, and a long green limo waited for them.
In the front sat Maud'dib, decked in his finest black stillsuit, and a leather
chauffer's cap.
They got in the back and the limo took off down the forest road with a squeal
of rubber. A sign on the back proclaimed "Just Married" and bells, shoes, and
tin cans bounced on the road, hanging from vines tied to the back bumper.
Call these other fine boards.....
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
-= The Legion Outpost.........................................415/521/7413 =-
-= C.A.M.E.L.O.T..............................................415/887/0983 =-
-= RAT HEAD...................................................415/524/3649 =-
-= International House Of Leeches.............................415/527/9444 =-
-= Lunatic Labs...............................................213/655/0691 =-
-= Skeleton Crue..............................................415/376/8060 =-
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