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ETHYL OXIDE
by Aleister Crowley
I
Experiments conducted (at odd times beginning July 1916 e.v.) on my own
person, have convinced me that the particular technical administration of
Ethyl Oxide in combination with certain mental exercises enables the
experimenter to ascertain;
1. The value of the relation of a given thought or faculty with the sum of
his mental characteristics.
2. The final opinion of the experimenter on any given subject (In the
popular phrase, "what is at the bottom of the flask".)
While of course complete unconsciousness has often been reached (in
surgical operations etc.) it has never been ascertained what occurs in
this state (of anesthesia induced by Ether) to the normal healthy
individual when he has trained himself to hold a thought through a
period of unconsciousness so that there is complete identity between
the last thought before losing, & the first after regaining, conscious-
ness.
It suggests itself that knowledge on this point might throw light upon;
a. The psychology of dying
b. The post mortem consciousness, assuming that after bodily death, the
individual "awakes" to another form of life.
II
The following conditions appear in the light of experience & reasoning to
be favorable to the experiment.
1. The experiment must take place in such conditions, physical & psycho-
logical, that distraction is minimized. (e.g. choose a quiet spot &
time, let the mind be free from care or preoccupation.). Let the ex-
perimenter be thoroughly awake & alert, free from physical fatigue, &
in sound bodily health.
2. The process of intoxication should be exceedingly gradual. The free
nostril should be applied to the neck of the flask, but no attempt made
to exclude air from the lungs. The criterion of proper administration
is given by the time occupied, which should not be much less than 2
hours from the beginning to the moment of losing consciousness. If
properly done, a very small amount of Ethyl Oxide is required, say 1/2
oz. (The time will vary with the expertness of the experimenter; one
can quicken up when one knows how to maintain full control of the
thought-stream.)
3. The experimenter should already be expert:
a. in analyzing his thoughts; so as to be able to detect the character of
any thought & to understand precisely why it has superseded its pre-
decessor. (He should have some experience in detecting the sub-
conscious links between successive ideas. "the words of the insane are
mountain-tops" etc.)
b. in controlling his mind so as to be able to reject any thought which
is not in the logical sequence of his chosen subject of meditation.
(Per contra, an apparently alien thought sometimes belongs, import-
antly, to the course of analysis.).
c. in concentrating his mind so that during the whole period of the ex-
periment he is able to maintain uninterruptedly the analysis of the
chosen subject of his investigation. (The beginner should select a
problem which really interests him as deeply as possible.)
4. He should already be expert in Mantra Yoga to the point when, having
hone to sleep repeating his mantra, it should spring instantly to con-
sciousness on awakening (either naturally or if disturbed) without any
effort of recollection.
5. He should be sufficiently expert in Yoga to be able to discover the
concealed meaning of any thought. (This is the essence of the process.
One begins by considering any particular opinion or feeling proper to
one's character, & proceeds to eliminate the accidental circumstances
which have determined its form; until one discovers its root in one's
original nature. For example, one begins by reflecting that one dis-
likes a given color or is attracted to a given system of philosophy.
These phenomena are merely symbols of the shape of one's soul, so that
an aversion to red height be connected with one's fear of death, or
one's sympathy with Herbert Spencer significant of one's intellectual
habits.) Psychoanalysis assists one to some extent: but avoid accepting
the conclusions of other people, or allowing any theory to prejudice
the analysis.
III
1. Ethyl Oxide appears to assist the mind to distinguish between thoughts
proper to its own nature & those suggested to it by some combination of
circumstances.
2. It sometimes enables one to perceive at a glance each & all of the
forces bearing upon the problem & to extract unerringly their resultant.
(In other words, one is able to make up one's mind quite definitely on
any point without fear of having omitted some consideration. It thus
informs one what is one's True Will, or the nature of one's inmost Self,
in reference to any chosen subject.)
3. The course of analysis usually proceeds logically up to a certain point;
but it often happens that at the last moment, when one feels that an
irrevocable event is imminent, the whole analysis is suddenly perceived
as camouflage--although perfectly sincere--& is violently rejected &
replaced by an apparently disconnected assertion, usually of extreme
simplicity. Subsequent conscious analysis should reveal this as the
true cause of the false chain of thought.
4. The first experiments should, in my opinion, be directed to straighten-
ing out any kinks in the consciousness of the experimenter; (i.e. he
should seek to discover who he really is, his true relation with the
Universe as opposed to the conscious idea of himself which he has
created, or has been imposed on him by his early training & experience.
i.e. analyze away Wish-phantasms, Fear-spectres, False idiosyncrasies,
& prejudices. He should thus get rid of fear, desire, false idealism, &
in particular of the doubt which exists (as I suppose) in practically
all men as to their own ultimate validity. I mean that we all have
moments when we wonder whether we really exist, or merely persuade our-
selves that we do. Also whether we are absolutely straight with our-
selves--see Sir Palamede, sections about Hunchback & the knight that he
was Sir P. & Sir P. an impostor.
5. Deep-seated personal complexes such as above indicated, should be abol-
ished before they disturb the analytical faculty at critical moments.
This being achieved, one may proceed to ask such questions as the
following: What is my real conception of time, space, causality, truth,
etc.?
It will be found that the definitions of such ideas, however well they
satisfy the normal mind, appear, in the light of this analysis, as of a
totally different order. For instance, time & space may lose all their
accepted characteristics & appear as arbitrary modes of discrimination
between aspects of an idea. Such logical axioms as A is A may be recog-
nized as false.
6. Having perceived ~"the Universe as Nothingness with twinkles" etc. (See
Star Sponge Vision Records (Book $, Part IV) CCXX Comment on Chap I.
v.59) & subsequently understood that this form is determined by the
structure of the nervous system & thus really a phantasm of it, one may
begin again from that standpoint to enquire why the nervous system it-
self should be conceived as it is, from anatomical indications which
themselves depend on the same sensory perceptions which in turn
determine the form of the original vision. i.e. Having got "the Uni-
verse as I see it is an Image of my nervous system" ask; "Why do I see
the nervous system as I do? What is the ultimate meaning of this con-
ception? What does it imply, my imprisonment in this `circular
argument'"?
7. A discreet scribe should be employed to record the progress of the
analysis. The time should be carefully noted. Apparently senseless
exclamations often prove the most valuable indications of discoveries
which are perhaps unintelligible to the experimenter himself even at
the time.
8. The really vital problem is this (Note: sleep & death are negative.
What is it then which withdraws or relaxes? Does the fact indicate a
Self behind the Conscious Ego: if so, cannot we reach that Self by ex-
ploring sleep?): "What happens to a man when he is unconscious?" It
should be possible to throw some light upon this question by accurate
observation of the last conscious thought & its successor on awakening.
Given an experimenter trained to maintain a Mantra through sleep, any
difference between these two thoughts should be due to something that
has happened in the unconscious state.
9. The analysis should proceed constantly to deeper levels of the mind. It
is essential to reach the subconscious strata & make them articulate.
The final thought should represent the nature of the man stripped of
all terrestrial conditions so ever. (It is generally admitted that
intoxication helps reveal the true self of a man, & that at the moment
of death he will not utter a lie. This process should reach deeper yet
by willed intelligent elimination of any sources of error.)
10. The experimenter should make a point of analyzing away any thoughts
symptomatic of the Will-to-Live, i.e. he should treat the unconscious
state as a real death, in order to make sure that his last thought is
not contaminated by considerations of his conditioned existence. (The
Will-to-Live is an expression of the bodily & mental complexes, not the
True Self; otherwise, one would never consent to go to sleep as one
does.)
11. Ethyl Oxide may also be used in connection with Magical Invocations to
loosen the girders of the Soul. The method is to exalt the conscious-
ness to the utmost by means of the proper ceremonies & incantations, &
then, selecting some short but intense conjuration, the dramatic climax
of the ritual, to use it as a mantra (See The Paris Working, where the
Mantra began on starting actual sexual intercourse, & had to be kept
going undisturbed by physical & moral interference, even through orgasm
itself. See also Liber HHH & 831.) at the same time concentrating the
Will upon entering into direct communication with the Intelligence
invoked. The moment of entering unconsciousness should by the climax of
this process, so that, as one looses oneself, one becomes that Intelli-
gence. There is thus no true unconsciousness, but the arising of a new
consciousness, & on coming to oneself, one should bring with one the
memory of his nature & message.
12. The nature of scientific, mathematical, & philosophical conditions may
be investigated with every prospect of success. For instance, it should
be east to discover whether a statement such as Twice 2 is 4 really
asserts anything about the nature of things, or defines a mental
limitation, or is a simple tautology. One might also enquire whether
one really believed in an external universe, whether one's idea of the
Ego was convenient fiction or no, what one really meant by Zero,
Infinity, the square root of -1, & so on. (This is particularly import-
ant because all truths, so-called, may be rationally resolved into
necessary forms of the mind, so that if, for example, it should turn
out that mathematics was no more that a system of symbolizing the facts
of logic, one might save much time & eliminate an obvious source of
error.)
13. Ethyl Oxide helps one to confine the area of conscious sensation to any
desired limit. Thus, one can concentrate one's attention on a finger &
so analyze the sensation of the minutest muscular movements such as
convey no appreciable impression to the normal mind. One becomes con-
scious of what the parts of the body feel themselves: e.g. the cells of
the nostrils feel a definite pleasure at the free passage of air. (This
is as far as I have gone; but it seems as if this line of research
might prove fruitful in the right hands.) It should enable one to dis-
tinguish between local and centralized consciousness, & to determine
whether the Ego is a single simple Idea, or an illustration composed of
diverse complex elements & realized as a unit for mere convenience'
sake.
14. The analysis of sensations enables one to separate them from the ideas
of pleasure & pain. One can thus remember events normally lost in ob-
livion through the operation of Freudian protection. One can also
destroy any given fear which tends to oppress the mind & prevent it ex-
ercising its function freely. Tradition asserts that we forget our pre-
vious incarnations because the shock of death erects a barrier. Without
assenting to this theory, I will say that having trained myself to face
the fact of Death without mental disturbance, I found myself able to
recall my last death, & so to pick u0 many memories of my previous life
as Eliphas Levi; also, that having overcome the first obstacle, it be-
came progressively easier to recall lives previous to that. This hypo-
thesis is supported by the fact that I find it difficult to remember by
Magical mistakes, & am (in particular) barred even now from remembering
the details of a tremendous Magical catastrophe in the remote past
whose effect was to hurl me from a series of incarnations in which I
was a high Initiate, & of which I remember many incidents, to climb
painfully once more to my present state. There is thus a definite gap
in my Magical Memory, a shape of shame & horror which I have not yet
found courage to unveil.
15. Ethyl Oxide helps one to classify & understand one's mental faculties &
their inter-relation. In particular, one can clear up the confusion
caused by the fact that in one state of mind A is A is absolute; in
another, untrue. One also learns how one faculty implies, & is involved
with, another. This assists one to purify each from its accidents, to
develop it, & to coordinate it with the others to the best advantage...
One also learns not to confuse separate orders of idea, generally, to
correct wrong thinking.
16. Ethyl Oxide helps one to diagnose the diseases of the mind. In early
experiments, especially is one's Magical Training be imperfect, the
stimulation of the drug is almost certain to call up emotional com-
plexes or intellectual prejudices. These must of course be noted,
analyzed, & destroyed, before attempting any serious research. The
ability to inhibit any such interference when under the influence of
intoxication affords a reasonable guarantee that one has mastered any
such seditions elements in the soul.
17. The delicacy of the mental equilibrium produced by skillful administra-
tion of the drug, enables one to make accurate measurements of the
elements of consciousness. One should make a systematic examination of
these, & draw, so to speak, a map to scale, of the mind. This should be
done actually, by means of diagrams or descriptions, & corrected from
time to time as fresh information comes to hand. It is particularly to
understand & estimate the components of each faculty, somewhat as is
done in Buddhist psychology.
The question of the Skandhas is important. One must assimilate fully
the fact of Nama-Rupa being a sheath of sensation, & that of perception
& so on: & be sufficiently practiced to dig out the Vinnanam concerned
in any overt thought or impression without having to perform a con-
scious analysis, & so be distracted from the main subject of the med-
itation.
18. The experimenter will learn to recognize instinctively when he has
reached the desired result. It comes as a climax with the force of a
revelation. I believe it to be useless to continue the experiment after
this has occurred. One should start entirely afresh. i.e. suppose one
gets a revelation in the course of the work, which is however not the
one required; one should accept defeat for the moment. The point is
that a genuine revelation exhausts the species of Energy involved for
the time being. The parallel case is the occurrence of orgasm in sexual
intercourse. A perfect orgasm should leave no lust: if one wants to go
on, it simply shows that one has failed to collect every element of the
personality, & discharge it utterly in a single explosion.